Category Archives: Host Family Tips

Travel Outside of the U.S.

7 Things to Know Before You Go

  1. There is always some risk with traveling outside of the U.S., as re-entry is at the discretion of the port of entry agent. APIA recommends that au pairs and host families discuss the risks and decide whether they are comfortable.
  2. Please review the appropriate checklist(s) from APIA, as you make your travel plans.
  3. All Au Pairs must email their scanned DS-2019 along with a Travel Validation Request Form to APIA, at least 1-2 weeks prior to international travel. Note: The travel validation ensures that you are in good standing with the program, it is not formal permission to travel. 
  4. Year 1 Au Pairs must have a valid visa to travel internationally and plan to return to the U.S. at least 2 weeks prior to the date their visa (inside their passport) says it expires. This can be different from the actual program end date.
  5. Year 2 Au Pairs may visit Canada, Mexico, and the adjacent islands due to the Automatic Revalidation Policy. No other international travel is allowed in Year 2.
  6. Travel Validation is good for the remainder of your current program year. If you have your Year 1 DS-2019 form validated for travel for one trip, you may use that same travel validation to take additional trips outside of the U.S. before Year 1 ends. Be sure to check the expiration date printed on your visa inside your passport, and return before that date.
  7. All Au Pairs must independently research whether they will need an additional visitor’s visa for their destination. This will depend on their nationality and travel destination.

Photo: Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

Drive-In Movies

Have you ever been to a drive-in movie? Drive-in movies are outdoor theaters where the movie is projected on a large screen and you watch from your car. There were once over 4,000 drive-in theaters in the U.S., and now only a few hundred remain. For our June outdoor movie cluster meeting, there is an option to pay for a parking space to watch the movie from your car making it a drive-in movie. But, if you want the full-on experience of a drive-in movie theatre that has been operating for 68 years, check out Bengies Drive-In Theatre!

One of those still operating is right here in Maryland, in the Baltimore area. Bengies Drive-In has been in business since 1956.  It is about an hour’s drive from most parts of our cluster, but since they are the only one left in the entire state of Maryland, that doesn’t sound so far.

Bengies
Click the photo to visit their website

I have been taking my kids to drive-in movies at Bengie’s for years and we love it.

The drive-in is only open Spring-Fall.

Drive-In Movie Tips for First Timers:

  1. You pay one price whether you stay for 1, 2, or all 3 movies.  Tickets may be purchased online in advance or with cash only at the gate. Since you are driving a good distance to get there, I would recommend purchasing tickets in advance online.
  2. You may stay in your car or bring chairs to sit in front of your parking space.
  3. If you go in the summer and plan to sit outside, bring insect-repellent spray or bug bracelets.
  4. If you go in the fall when the weather is cool, bring blankets.
  5. You cannot bring in outside food or drinks unless you purchase an outside food permit. I recommend you buy your snacks there. They have some interesting options that you don’t see at a regular movie concession stand and that’s part of the full experience.
  6. Before you go, read the information on their website about headlights. You need to know how to disable your headlights when you are inside the movie.
  7. You also need to figure out how to turn your vehicle to the “accessory setting” with your key. This will allow you to listen to the movie without draining your battery. VERY IMPORTANT
  8. There is a note on their website about how to enter their address with GPS.  Their address is listed as “Middle River” not Baltimore on GPS.

As with all activities, please discuss this with your host parents first to make sure they are okay with you taking the car this far.

Hints for Success – Handling Expenses

Host parents often ask for suggestions on how best to handle common expenses that occur as au pairs are caring for the children.

Miscellaneous Expenses

There are different ways to handle the little day-to-day expenses that come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for these types of expenses. Others give their au pair a prepaid debit card for this purpose. Below are some suggestions for avoiding problems with expenses.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas, Uber & Metro 

Transportation costs will vary depending on if your au pair is driving or taking public transportation. Here is a post dedicated to How to Handle Transportation Costs.

Photo: Andrea Travillian

Making Thanksgiving Memories Together

Thanksgiving is a public holiday celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November every year in the United States. It started as a harvest festival and has been celebrated nationally on and off since 1789.  The most important part of Thanksgiving for American families is to spend family time together.

Martin Cathrae

 

“My favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. Firstly, it was my first holiday with the whole family in America. Secondly, the whole family came together. All aunts and uncles and their kids came to grandma’s. We played football with all of them, including grandma and grandpa. It was the first time I played it and it was so much fun for all. We had a great dinner with all the typical things you can imagine … it was deeeelicious! It was so great to be with such a big family and I really enjoyed that day. I will remember it my whole life, I hope.” – Swantje from Germany

Here are a few tips to help you have a terrific Thanksgiving experience.

Host Parents
Please plan to include your au pair in your Thanksgiving celebration, if at all possible. If you are traveling or will not be able to invite your au pair to join you for Thanksgiving, give her plenty of notice and help her make alternate plans. You don’t want to leave your au pair alone over the holiday.

Au Pairs
If you are invited to attend dinner, please let your family know within 5 days of the invitation, whether you are planning to attend, so they may make plans. If your host family is unable to include you in their Thanksgiving plans, please let me know if you have trouble making other plans, so I can assist.

Make sure to discuss time off during this holiday weekend. Many host families work the Friday after Thanksgiving so do not assume you have this day off or the entire weekend. Talk to your host family, BEFORE you make any plans.

Bonus Tip for the Kids
If you are looking for a fun recipe to make with your au pair, check out these turkey cookies. Find more fun activities and recipes on the Au Pair in America Fall Holidays pinboard.

Surviving & Thriving in the Holiday Season

The fall/winter holiday season is most often a time of joy and excitement. However, it can also be a time of stress and disappointment for both host families and au pairs.

Here are some ideas and insights that will hopefully help you avoid stress and disappointment and share more of the joy and excitement!

Holiday Work Schedules

Miscommunication over the schedule is the #1 issue for host families and au pairs over the holidays. As a reminder to assist with scheduling, program guidelines state an au pair can work up to 45 hours per week and no more than 10 hours per day. Hours cannot be carried from week to week. Please take the time to discuss your schedules and expectations.

The au pair program regulations do not have requirements for au pairs to be given holidays off. However, in the spirit of the program and since most parents will be at home spending time with their children, the majority of host families give au pairs some or all of the winter holidays off Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. Please discuss this so that everyone is clear about the schedule when making holiday plans.

Religion

For au pairs with religious beliefs different from your own, you may choose to encourage them to share the associated traditions with your family. If you are not comfortable with this aspect of cultural exchange, your au pair may need your help as well as appropriate time off to participate in their own holiday traditions. Enabling them to do this is very important. Their holiday or time to celebrate the holiday may not be the same as yours; try to take this into consideration if you can when you make their work schedule. You may find that there is no conflict in giving their time off if their traditions are different, and it can relieve a great deal of anxiety to take their preferences into consideration. If you do need your au pair to work during the holiday, please tell them way in advance so that it is not a surprise. Help them to see this as a positive aspect of the cultural exchange if she will be actively sharing in the holiday celebration.

Changes to Routine

The dynamics of established relationships and routines change during the holiday. The high emotions and energy of the children (compared to their more reasonable behavior during the rest of the year) may seem like craziness to the au pair. Assure them that this new set of behaviors is temporary and the household will be back to normal soon. In the meantime, suggest specific things she can do to help. Encourage them to roll with the punches and enjoy the craziness. Also, the number of gifts, food, decorations, etc., can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. Try to include the au pair in some quiet, meaningful time together when the true spirit of the holidays is shared.

These are important days ahead. This is perhaps the greatest opportunity of the year to respect and learn about cultural differences, which is, indeed, one of the basic elements of the Au Pair in America program. There will be fun-filled memories. This should be a time of love and understanding. Please do your part to make that happen.

Wishing you every happiness of the season!

Photo: Sean Hobson

Where to Get Your Flu Shot

Many au pairs and host families are looking for places to get flu shots this time of year. Your au pair medical insurance does NOT cover preventive care like vaccines. But there are lots of places to get flu shots for free or a small fee.

If a host family is urging their au pair to get the seasonal flu shot and she agrees to get it, the host family would be responsible for the expense.

If you are planning to get the seasonal flu vaccine, it is recommended that you get it as early as possible. Below are some links to help you decide where to go for a flu shot.

County and State Health Departments

I have been told that Kaiser Permanente is offering free flu shots as well.

Local Pharmacies

Flu shots are also available for a fee at local pharmacies. Because your medical insurance plan doesn’t cover vaccines, you should not present your insurance card. You need to ask for the price without insurance. With GoodRX offers, the flu shot is available for $25 and up.

Back to School Planning

Back to school time is here. This can mean changes to the au pair schedule and possibly to the duties.  It is very important to communicate these changes to avoid problems.

Here is a list of topics to consider discussing:

  • Au pair’s work schedule
  • The children’s school and activity schedules
  • Where the children get dropped off and picked up and who will be doing this
  • What to do if a child is staying home sick, late to school, does not get off the bus (if they are supposed to)
  • Driving laws regarding stopping for school buses
  • How to tell if school has been canceled or delayed for bad weather
  • Add the au pair to your list of people allowed to pick up the kids from school and explain the process
  • What to pack for lunch
  • The routine after school (do they have free time before starting homework, what to give for a snack, any chores, where do they put their backpacks & lunchboxes)
  • How to communicate about what’s going on at school. Your Kids in Care logbook from Au Pair in America can be a great two-way communication tool for keeping track of schedules, afterschool activities and day to day info that needs to be transferred between host parents and au pair.
  • If your au pair will be the one going through the children’s backpack and helping with homework, consider designating an area for putting things that need to be read and/or signed by parents.

Here are some Printable Fill-in-the-Blank School Notes for parents. You can print these out and have them ready for times when the kids are absent, late, have an early dismissal or you need to give permission for something.

Check out Au Pair in America’s Pinterest School Tips and Ideas pinboard for things like organization ideas, back to school traditions, printable lunch box notes, and fun lunch recipes.

Reminder: It is illegal in the State of Maryland for a child under the age of 8 to be left alone in the home or car. Please make sure that your drop off routine does not include leaving children under 8 at home or in the car while dropping off another child. Even if a host parent gives permission to do this, it is not allowed, because it is against the law.

Host Family Hints for Success: Better Communication

Au pairs often reach out to me to discuss concerns they have. The first question I always ask is whether they have brought it up to their host parents yet. The answer is normally no. I suggest to them to bring it up at their next routine check-in meeting with their host parents, because host parents can’t help with problems they don’t know about. A surprising number of au pairs tell me that they have no such check-in meetings with their host parents and many say they never even had them in the beginning of the match. 

A lot of communication takes place via text. It is difficult to understand the intended tone of text messages and this can lead to miscommunications. This is especially true when you add in the fact that English is not the first language of most au pairs. There are subtle nuances in language that have positive and negative connotations and it takes many years to learn those things. When speaking face to face, we can see someone’s facial expressions and body language and that helps us understand what they are trying to communicate.

I realize many host parents have demanding jobs and are stretched thin, but these check-in conversations are important for a successful match. The biggest thing is putting that time on the calendar and sticking with it.

With au pairs living in their host family’s home and in many instances having two host parents, they often feel outnumbered and powerless. Many au pairs have a very hard time bringing up concerns to their host parents. And when host parents don’t ask how an au pair is feeling or how things are going, they often think the host parents don’t want to know. 

Why is it important to create this open communication environment?

  • Good communication strengthens your relationship with your au pair. 
  • It tells your au pair that her feelings, wants, and needs matter to you.
  • It’s easier to address problems when they are small.
  • It creates a less stressful/awkward environment in the home.
  • It reduces the chances of a rematch.

Bonus Tip: If you cannot say yes to an au pair’s request or need to ask them to deviate from their normal schedule or duties, it’s always a good idea to give a brief explanation. Without any context these kind of situations can lead to assumptions and hard feelings, when there may have been a simple, reasonable explanation. 

Image: John Benson (Flickr)

Camp Au Pair – Bugs & Butterflies

Next week’s Camp Au Pair theme will be Bugs & Butterflies.

More than 100 crafts, recipes, and activities related to all kinds of bugs, insects, butterflies, and spiders can be found here on the Camp Au Pair – Bugs & Butterflies  pinboard.

Field Trips can be an excellent way for kids to learn and have new experiences. Get permission from your host parents before any outings. Check the websites before you go to be sure you understand the hours, costs, and whether advance tickets/reservations are required.

Outdoors – Kids today do not spend enough time outdoors. Take the kids in the backyard or another nature area (approved by your host parents) and do some activities related to this theme:

  • Allow them to search for bugs and butterflies.
  • Observe lightning bugs (also known as fireflies) in the evening. Here is a map showing what people call these little guys in different parts of the country.
  • After it rains, look for earthworms. Not bugs or butterflies, but very interesting creatures you can find in your own backyard.

NOTE: If you are outdoors with the children, be sure to check for ticks when you come back inside. Here is a blog post explaining the health risk ticks can pose and how to find and remove them safely.

Webcams – You can do a Google search for websites with webcams that allow you to observe bugs. Here are some to get you started.

Books – Make a trip to the library and/or check your kids’ bookshelf for books on bugs and butterflies. You may find some classics like The Very Hungry Caterpillar or The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle. You can also find books being read aloud on YouTube videos like this one.

Movies – There are lots of movies with insect themes.

  • The Ant Bully
  • Antz
  • A Bugs Life
  • The Bee Movie
  • Charlotte’s Web
  • James & the Giant Peach
  • Maya the Bee
  • Miniscule: Valley of the Lost Ants
  • Wings of Life (documentary)

Videos – You can find many great videos of butterflies and insects on YouTube. Check out these videos for kids about bees and ants. All about Insects covers lots of tiny creatures who crawl and fly. Here are a few videos to get you started.

Image: minieco.co.uk

Keeping Kids Safer Around the Water

When hot summer weather hits, the pool and beaches are popular places to cool off. Allowing children to enjoy the water safely is extremely important. We have compiled some information to help host parents and au pairs when supervising children around water.

Here are some quick facts that you may find surprising…

Image from our webinar with Colin’s Hope

Au Pair in America recently hosted a Water Safety Webinar for parents and au pairs with special guests from Colin’s Hope, a non-profit organization dedicated to keeping kids safer around the water. You can watch the webinar recording below.

When multiple adults are with children at the beach or pool, it is important to designate a specific person to watch the children.

If that designated adult must leave the beach/pool area, they should tell another adult so that person can take over supervising children.

Never assume that someone else is watching the children.

More Water Safety Tips

  • Never leave a child unattended near water.
  • Drowning is silent; keep your eyes on the children at all times.
  • Never be more than an arm’s length away if in the pool with a young child.
  • Make sure the fence around the pool is closed properly.
  • If you have an above-ground pool, remove the ladder when not in use.
  • Swim at the beach or lake only when a lifeguard is on duty.
  • Teach young children to swim and consider taking a water safety course for caregivers.
  • If boating, always wear a Coast Guard-approved life jacket.
  • Keep a phone close by in case there is an emergency, but stay off your cell phone to avoid distractions.
  • If you leave the area for any reason, the kids go with you.

Here is a video with info on how to spot when someone is in trouble in the water.

CONTEST: What is your favorite place to enjoy the water: the beach or the pool? The first au pair in our cluster to message Christine or Lisa with their answer to this question will win a $10 Target gift card.

Photo: Au Pair in America