What would I do if I could turn back time? This is a hard question that I have asked myself so many times. I find myself thinking about it, especially at times when life seems to be falling apart, with so much to do and not enough time to do it. It crosses my mind when the kids are not being their sweet and behaved selves — and being difficult to deal with.
Turning back time has its appeal — going back to the days of not being an adult and a mom, with no bills to pay, no children to look after and no responsibilities. What would it be like to go back to being a student and only worry about my homework (which seemed so hard back then)? If I could turn back time with the mentality I have now, I would’ve been a straight-A student (well maybe). But really, what would it be like to only worry about myself? I think about so many things that I might change if I had the chance.
I think about how my life would have been, all the things I could have done, all the places I could have gone to and all the experiences I didn’t get to enjoy…
And then, reality hits me, or more like my kids hit me (in the head, with a ball or something). I wake up from my daydream and see them, and in that moment, I realize how complete I really am. No matter the struggle of being a single mom — the crying, whining, fights over toys, the running back and forth every day on my own — no matter how hard my life is now, I am okay.
If I was given the chance to go back in time, I would have to decline. I would keep my life as it is, with my kids, because they’re my life — even if they eat all the ice cream and put the empty container back in the freezer to make me think they didn’t eat it — ahh boys!
Bottom line, I would do it all over again to have my two precious treasures, to have the privilege of being their mom, to re-live special moments like love at first sight when they were born, first giggles, first words, first steps. Once you’re a mom, you really can’t picture yourself without your kids. As moms, we want some alone time sometimes, but when we get that alone time — we go crazy without our babies. The house is too quiet and lifeless without them.
How many of you moms out there can relate?
This post was contributed by Marcela Mendez, Au Pair in America staff member and like all loving mothers, a superstar mom.