Tag Archives: homesickness

Top 5 Tips for Overcoming Homesickness

Almost everyone experiences culture shock when they come to a completely new environment. Everything is different: the language, the food, and the people.

When everything feels so unfamiliar, it is natural to long for the security of home. However, you don’t want to let that feeling of longing for home, make you too sad or prevent you from finding happiness in your new home.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home often makes homesickness worse. Try texting instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or go to movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and nearly all of them stay and have a successful year (some stay for two years). So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by: Hernán Piñera (Flickr)

Avoiding Homesickness this Holiday Season

Homesickness can be a problem during the holidays, even if it hasn’t been at any other time of the year. Au pairs often miss their friends and family, familiar places and their own traditions and customs. The holiday activities in the United States seem, and may actually be, different just at a time when an au pair would welcome something familiar. 

It is common for au pairs’ emotions to be close to the surface during the holidays. Her highs are higher, her lows are lower. The enormity of what she has done–actually living in another country (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)–hits her and throws her into a self-protective mode.

Host parents can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be (gifts, meals, visitors, religious services, in-home traditions, or none of these, as the case may be.) In the spirit of cultural exchange, ask her if she has any favorite holiday traditions or foods that you might be able to incorporate into your family’s celebration of the season. Let her know what you will be doing, when you will be doing it, and what she can expect. Talk to her about what has to be accomplished and get her involved and interested. Don’t expect her to just “know” what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed upon assignments. Make her feel a part of things. And, let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.

Photo: Sheila Sund (Flickr)

Hints for Success – Overcoming Homesickness

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree, when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. They will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

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Holiday Survival for Au Pairs

As we head into the holidays, it is important to consider how this time of year may impact you and your host family.

As Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year’s approach, please keep in mind that you may feel homesick, even if you haven’t at other times. People, places, and traditions are missed; our traditions and activities are unfamiliar to you, and you may not know what is expected of you during this very busy time of year. Your emotions may be close to the surface during the holiday season, and the enormity of the year away from home may hit you hard.

We can help you through this unfamiliar territory by talking openly about your feelings and by giving you some very specific advice:

  • Participate in your family’s activities as much as possible.
  • Talk to your family about what to expect and what their needs are during this busy season.
  • Ask what your schedule will be.  There’s a good chance your schedule will change during the holidays.
  • Share some of your favorite traditions/holiday foods/songs, etc with your family
  • Ask questions if you don’t understand something

Routines change during the holiday season:  parents are home, grandparents may be visiting, and children are off from school.

  • Be clear about your schedule, and pay particular attention to vacation plans.

If you are leaving the country for vacation:

  • Be sure that your DS 2019 form is signed by Evelyn Blum in the Stamford, CT office.  This is the paperwork required for you to re-enter the United States.
  • Mail it to Evelyn Blum, Au Pair in America, 9 West Broad Street, Stamford, CT 06902.
  • Include a stamped, self-addressed return envelope that has been pre-paid at the post office.

If you will be accompanying your host family on a vacation, please be clear about their expectations:

  • Will you be working? If so, this is not a vacation for you, and the same regulations apply—45 hours/week.

The high emotions and energy of the children at this time of year may seem overwhelming to you.  You may be surprised by the quantity of gifts children receive and the excesses of food and decorations. Try not to make judgments and enjoy the general excitement of the season. Remember, you came to the U.S. to see  and learn something new.

Many au pairs want to visit Times Square in New York Cityon New Year’s Eve.http://newyearseve.com/stories-experience-times-square-on-new-years-eve.php If you do have the time off and you’re going to NYC, please use caution.  It will be very crowded.  Stay with your friends, keep your belongings close and don’t bring your passport with you.  LEAVE YOUR PASSPORT HOME!!

I hope this helps you enjoy the season with your host family and friends.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday and a new year of joy, health, and peace.

gail