Category Archives: Host Family Tips

Handling Expenses

Host parents often ask for suggestions on how best to handle common expenses that occur as au pairs are caring for the children.

Miscellaneous Expenses

There are different ways to handle the little day to day expenses that come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for these types of expenses. Others give their au pair a prepaid debit card for this purpose. Below are some suggestions for avoiding problems with expenses.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas and Fare Cards 

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs: to and from classes, cluster meetings and when driving the kids.

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

Photo: Andrea Travillian

Snow Days are Here!

Here is a simple snow day game plan…

  1. Play in the snow. Do you wanna build a snowman? Here’s a great how-to video.
  2. Come inside and warm up with hot chocolate (don’t forget the marshmallows.)
  3. May your own play dough.
  4. Play board games or Legos together.
  5. Ever heard of Snow Ice Cream? Great for freshly fallen snow.
  6. Look for more fun things to do on the APIA Pinterest Boards:
  7. Bake cookies together or make some other fun recipe.
  8. Play in the snow again.
  9. Warm up inside taking turns on the Make a Snowflake Website.
  10. Make a blanket fort.

Stay warm & have fun!

Photo credit: Tony Crider (flickr)

Fun Things to Do With Children

 

Our APIA website is packed with ideas for au pairs to help them find fun things to do with the children. You can search for activities by age group, season of the year and indoor or outdoor activities.

http://www.aupairinamerica.com/resources/activities/index.asp

Here are  some creative winter activities!
https://www.pinterest.com/aupairinamerica/winter-fun/

With Valentine’s Day coming up, making cards, pizza hearts, Valentines cookies or handmade gifts are great ways to spend a snow day!
https://www.pinterest.com/aupairinamerica/valentine-s-day/

Happy Channukah!

We have host families from a wide variety of backgrounds and faiths.  Some celebrate Christmas, some Chanukkah, some Kwanzaa and some celebrate more than one of those or none of the above.  That is something that makes America special, we can all be different, but still one united together.

I wanted to give a brief overview of Chanukkah and some of the customs you might observe.  Something important to note is that Chanukkah is not the Jewish equivalent of Christmas.  From a religious standpoint, it is a relatively minor holiday.  So, the amount of emphasis put on Chanukkah and how it is celebrated will vary from one family to the next.

You may see Chanukkah spelled in a variety of ways: Chanuka, Hanukkah, Hanukka and more. Part of the reason for this confusion may be due to the fact there is no exact English translation of the Hebrew word for Chanukkah.

If your host family celebrates Chanukkah and you don’t, I would encourage you to take part and experience the customs of another religion.  This can be a great opportunity for culture sharing.  The same is true, if you are a host family and your au pair celebrates a different holiday than you.

Here is a simple explanation from Judaism 101:

Chanukkah is the festival of lights, commemorating the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem after a successful revolt against the Seleucid Greeks. As part of the rededication, the victorious Jews needed to light the Temple’s menorah (candelabrum), but they had only enough oil to last one day and it would take eight days to prepare more oil. Miraculously, the one-day supply of oil lasted for eight days. The miracle of the oil is commemorated with this eight-day candle lighting holiday.

Chanukkah begins between Thanksgiving and Christmas. About half of the time, it overlaps with Christmas, but there are many years when Chanukkah ends long before Christmas. In 2002, for example, Chanukkah began on Thanksgiving and ended in the first week of December, but that is unusual.

Almost all Jews light candles with their families for at least some nights of the holiday, so people like to be at home during this holiday. Although almost nobody takes off from work or school for this holiday, many may not want to work nights or travel during the holiday so they can light candles with the family, and accommodations should be made for this.

Here are some links for more info and children’s activities:

Host Family Workshop

Every year, we organize an opportunity for Host Families to get together. This year, several of us Maryland counselors organized a Host Family Workshop in Potomac. Thank you for all the families who came! We hope you walked away with some tips to make your year great with your au pair.

workshop1workshop2

Travel and Vacation

With Memorial Day just passed and Fourth of July coming up next month, I wanted to remind everyone about program rules on holidays and vacations.

Holidays

  • Host families are NOT REQUIRED to give au pairs any specific holidays.
  • Each host family will make different arrangements on holidays, some au pairs will be off and others will be required to work.
  • Au pairs should NOT make plans for holidays without checking with your host family FIRST.

luggage malias

Vacation

Au pair earns 2 weeks of paid vacation during the course of her year.

  • The host family can pick a week and the au pair can pick a week, if an agreement is not reached.
  • All vacation should be preplanned (at least 4 weeks in advance.)
  • All au pair’s friends and/or family visits/vacations should be pre-approved prior to purchasing a ticket.
  • If an au pair travels with their host family, it should be discussed UP FRONT whether this is the au pair’s vacation or if she is working.
  • If an au pair travels with the host family to work, the host family is required to pay for her transportation, lodging and meals.

Important: An au pair MUST have her DS2019 signed PRIOR to her departure from the US. More info. about this can be found on the right side of this page under “Travel Links for Au Pairs.”

Holiday Tips for Host Families

Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday, one that the au pairs look forward to experiencing. Please plan to include your au pair in your Thanksgiving celebration if at all possible. Thanksgiving with an au pair offers an opportunity to consider the relevance of the history and meaning of Thanksgiving as you compare the hospitality offered by the Native Americans to the recently arrived Pilgrims and the hospitality you offer your au pair.

Homesickness can be a problem during the holidays, even if it hasn’t been at any other time of the year. Au pairs often miss their friends and familiy, familiar places and their own traditions and customs. The holiday activities in the United States seem, and may actually be, different just at a time when an au pair would welcome something familiar. It is common for au pairs’ emotions to be close to the surface during the holidays. Her highs are higher, her lows are lower. The enormity of what she has done–actually living in another country (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)–hits her and throws her into a self-protective mode. You can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be (gifts, meals, visitors, religious services, in-home traditions, or none of these, as the case may be). In the spirit of cultural exchange, ask her if she has any favorite holiday traditions or foods that you might be able to incorporate into your family’s celebration of the season. Let her know what you will be doing, when you will be doing it, and what she can expect. Talk to her about what has to be accomplished and get her involved and interested. Don’t expect her to just “know” what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed upon assignments. Make her feel a part of things. And, let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.

For au pairs with religious beliefs different from your own, you may choose to encourage her to share the associated traditions with your family. If you are not comfortable with this aspect of cultural exchange, your au pair may need your help as well as appropriate time off to participate in her own holiday traditions with another family, with a community group or with a religious institution. Enabling her to do this is very important. Her holiday or her time to celebrate the holiday may not be the same as yours; try to take this into consideration if you can when you make her work schedule. You may find that there is no conflict in giving her time off if her traditions are different, and it can relieve a great deal of anxiety to take her preferences into consideration. If you do need your au pair to work during the holiday, please tell her way in advance so that it is not a surprise. Help her to see this as a positive aspect of the cultural exchange if she will be actively sharing in the holiday celebration.

The dynamics of established relationships and routines change during the holiday. The parents are home more, and this is unsettling to the children as well as to the au pair. Some different work expectations may be needed since the kids may prefer to hover around the parents. This can make an au pair feel unwanted and unsure of what is expected of her. The high emotions and energy of the children (compared to their more reasonable behavior during the rest of the year) may seem like craziness to the au pair. Assure her that this new set of behaviors is temporary and the household will be back to normal soon. In the meantime, suggest specific things she can do to help. Encourage her to roll with the punches and enjoy the craziness. Also, the quantity of gifts, food, decorations, etc., can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. Try to include the au pair in some quiet, meaningful time together when the true spirit of the holidays is shared.

The holidays are a time when au pairs want to be with their friends. Christmas Eve, in some countries, is spent with friends rather than family. New Year’s Eve in America is a very special occasion to them. Discuss your plans and expectations with each other. Be as generous with time as possible.

These are important days ahead. This is perhaps the greatest opportunity of the year to respect and learn about cultural differences, which is, indeed, one of the basic elements of the Au Pair in America program. There will be fun-filled memories. This should be a time of love and understanding.

Holiday Tips for Host Families

Holiday Tips

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As we head into the Holidays, I wanted to share some information with you, regarding the Holiday season and your au pair.

As Christmas and Hanukkah approach, it is important to remember that Au Pairs may feel homesick, even if they haven’t at other times. Certain people and places are missed, and our traditions and activities seem different.

Au Pairs emotions are often close to the surface at this time and the enormity of this year away from home may hit her hard.

You can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your family activities will be; for example, when the candles are lit, the stockings hung, the tree decorated, gifts given, meals prepared and eaten, relatives arrive or when you visit family. It would be very thoughtful to ask her if she has a favorite holiday food or tradition that could be incorporated into your celebration.

Talk to your Au Pair specifically about what has to be accomplished, get her involved and interested because this will ease her homesickness. Remember, her mother has probably taken this responsibility in previous years, so don’t expect her to just know what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed-upon assignments to make her feel a part of things. Let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.

Consider the dynamics of the normal relationships you have all established and how the changes in holiday routine affects them. Parents at home, relatives visiting and children off at school. Different work expectations may be needed and this should be clearly discussed.

Socially, please remember the holidays are a time when Au Pairs want and need to be with their friends. This also helps their survival mechanism when they are missing old friends back home.

New Year’s eve in America is a very special occasion to an Au Pair, so open communication is very important as you decide on New Year’s Eve plans and the time off, if any, you can offer to your Au Pair.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday season and that this letter will help you enjoy the season with your Au Pair.

by Dominique Ortiz