{"id":1013,"date":"2010-02-16T14:28:14","date_gmt":"2010-02-16T19:28:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.aupairinamerica.com\/fcw\/?p=32"},"modified":"2010-02-16T14:28:14","modified_gmt":"2010-02-16T19:28:14","slug":"sibling-rivalry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.aupairinamerica.com\/fcw\/2010\/02\/16\/sibling-rivalry\/","title":{"rendered":"Sibling Rivalry"},"content":{"rendered":"<div><span style=\"font-size: x-small;font-family: TimesNewRoman\"><span style=\"font-size: x-small;font-family: TimesNewRoman\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: x-small;font-family: TimesNewRoman\"><span style=\"font-size: x-small;font-family: TimesNewRoman\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Thanks to Etta Rosen for this article.<\/p>\n<div><strong><span style=\"font-size: x-large;font-family: Arial,Bold\"><span style=\"font-size: x-large;font-family: Arial,Bold\"><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><strong><span style=\"font-size: x-large;font-family: Arial,Bold\"><span style=\"font-size: x-large;font-family: Arial,Bold\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">Sibling Rivalry<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: Arial\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">One of the most common complaints about children is how much they fight with their brothersand\/or sisters. Experts agree that this is an important and normal part of growing up which helps children to learn important social skills. Siblings learn how to compromise, negotiate and forgive through their conflicts. Sibling rivalry also teaches basic lessons of competition. Children learn how to compete in the safety of home, gaining confidence to compete outside the home.\u00a0 Children express their frustration with other events in their life by fighting with their siblings. It is safer to be angry with a brother or sister than with a parent, a teacher, or a friend. Even if the children are benefiting, it is still hard on the adults. Here are some tips to help ease the tension:<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Treat children as individuals whenever possible or practical. Children have different interests <\/span>and preferences and these should be respected. Making one child always go with another child\u2019s choice can create resentment.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Children need special time when they can have an adult\u2019s attention all to themselves. This is <\/span>hard to do but well worth the extra effort.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Catch the children being good and comment on it. Remember to praise sharing and cooperation <\/span>when it occurs.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Many fights occur just to get an adult\u2019s attention. Let children resolve their differences by <\/span>themselves whenever possible. Keep a watchful eye to be sure no one gets hurt in the process.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">When children fight it is important to recognize the feelings behind the fighting. Encourage <\/span>children to use words to express their feelings. As an adult, explain your own feelings and don\u2019t yell or grab the children.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Sending children in different directions can help them to cool off, but trying to break up fights and <\/span>figure out who is right and who is wrong can often make the situation worse.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Help children to find an outlet for their feelings such as drawing a picture, or running around the <\/span>yard, punching a pillow or yelling into a cup.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">Sometimes children want to talk about what is making them fight. Ask them to tell you what <\/span>happened, but make sure that they start each sentence with the word \u201cI\u201d rather than \u201che\u201d or \u201cshe.\u201d This helps them to understand and take responsibility for their own feelings and actions.<\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/span><\/div>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">\u2022<span style=\"font-family: Arial\">If children are struggling over the sharing of toys, it is okay to put some toys in a box and say <\/span>those particular toys do not need to be shared.<\/p>\n<div><strong><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: SymbolMT\"><\/p>\n<p align=\"left\">It is especially difficult when there is a new baby taking adult attention. Older children may act more babyish or try to hurt the baby. Tell the child that you understand that it is hard to share his parents, his au pair, and his space, and that he is doing a good job of trying. Don\u2019t give an older child too much responsibility \u2013 it may seem much more appealing to be a helpless baby than a big brother or sister.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 Thanks to Etta Rosen for this article. \u00a0 Sibling Rivalry \u00a0 One of the most common complaints about children is how much they fight with their brothersand\/or sisters. Experts agree that this is an important and normal part of growing up which helps children to learn important social skills. Siblings learn how to compromise,  <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.aupairinamerica.com\/fcw\/2010\/02\/16\/sibling-rivalry\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[7,10,15],"class_list":["post-1013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-child-care","tag-au-pair","tag-childcare","tag-families"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sibling Rivalry - Carol&#039;s Cluster Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sibling Rivalry - Carol&#039;s Cluster Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0 Thanks to Etta Rosen for this article. \u00a0 Sibling Rivalry \u00a0 One of the most common complaints about children is how much they fight with their brothersand\/or sisters. 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