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Pick-up up from school is a very important time for learning about your child’s school day and so much more… Here is some great information from PBS Parent:<\/strong><\/p>\n How Was School Today? <\/strong>Are you hoping to avoid the \u201cokay\u201d or blank stare in response to your daily question? One way to get off on a different footing is to start with \u201cI had a great day\u2026\u201d or \u201cI had a frustrating day\u2026\u201d or \u201cI made a stupid mistake today\u2026\u201d.\u00a0 This helps create a conversation instead of an investigation. I\u2019ve collected some thoughts from some on my favorite experts on how to make this conversation meaningful.<\/p><\/div>\n Talking with Kids About School: <\/strong>Why is it so hard to talk about school? Parents often get exasperated with kids\u2019 monosyllabic answers to their simple questions. That one well-intentioned line, \u201cHow was school today?\u201d has probably provoked more bad feelings between parents and kids than either party ever intended.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2018How was school today?\u2019<\/strong> is a frustrating question for both parents and kids,\u201d notes Michael Thompson, Ph.D., author of \u201cThe Pressured Child.\u201d \u201cParents never get the answer they want and often don\u2019t understand how difficult this question really is. Without meaning to, parents are asking for a summary but kids don\u2019t summarize the way adults do. So most kids just say \u2018fine\u2019 or try to avoid the question entirely.\u201d And then the problem escalates. \u201cMany parents will repeat this question if they don\u2019t get a good enough response because they don\u2019t know how else to ask it,\u201d adds Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D., author of \u201cPlayful Parenting.\u201d Fortunately, some simple strategies can get kids and parents talking and listening. \u201cWhat was fun? What was the worst part of the day? Did your teacher explain that math homework? How did soccer go?\u201d However, communicating effectively about school goes deeper than just asking the right questions. \u201cWhat are the goals of talking with kids about school and what is the role of the adult in these conversations?\u201d asks Diane Levin, Ph.D., professor of education at Wheelock College. \u201cMore than just finding out how their day was, we want to help kids become problems solvers and independent learners. Good conversations help kids see we care about their lives, that we are there to support them, and to help them develop strategies for solving problems themselves.\u201d Understanding Each Other: <\/strong>So why don\u2019t our kids want to tell us about their day at school? And why do we think we need to know every detail? And how can we become more effective listeners? To find out, take a look at the situation from your child\u2019s perspective and compare it to your own.<\/p>\n \u201cHow was school?\u201d and \u201cHow are you?\u201d are not really questions \u2014 they\u2019re greetings.<\/strong> A problem arises because we expect an answer. But the question is so general that it\u2019s difficult for kids to answer, particularly when they are on overload from a challenging day at school. \u201cWhat parents are trying to do when they ask \u2018how was school?\u2019 is to make contact with their child,\u201d explains Michael Thompson, Ph.D. But we don\u2019t realize that the question \u201chow was school\u201d may not be the most effective way to connect.<\/p>\n Kids often think adults ask too many questions.<\/strong>\u201cAnd they are right,\u201d adds Thompson, \u201cwe do. Adults are often just trying to start a conversation and don\u2019t understand that their questions make a child feel put on the spot. Be aware that a question from a big person like you can place demands on a small child, even though you don\u2019t mean it that way.\u201d”It\u2019s important to also be clear why you are asking children about school. Is it merely chit chat, are you looking for something more meaningful, and are you communicating in ways that relate to your child\u2019s experience?\u201d notes Diane Levin, Ph.D.<\/p>\n School can be hard for kids and that\u2019s why it\u2019s hard for them to talk about it.<\/strong> Every day at school, kids get things wrong and make mistakes. That\u2019s how they learn. But generally, kids don\u2019t want to come home and say, \u201cI was frustrated by my mistakes but I learned from them.\u201d They would rather come home and say, \u201cI got everything right.\u201d Their feelings about meeting the expectations of their teachers, their parents, and themselves can make school a challenging topic to discuss.<\/p>\n So \u2014 should we stop asking questions?<\/strong> No. But you might ask fewer ones and try not to get crazy when your kids don\u2019t respond the way you want them to. Remember that if your kids don\u2019t want to talk, it\u2019s not a rejection of you. When you do speak, try to find ways to discuss what\u2019s meaningful to both your child and you, because this shows that you care. http:\/\/www.pbs.org\/parents\/education\/going-to-school\/talking-with-kids-about-school\/understanding-each-other\/<\/a><\/p>\n Whatever your child\u2019s age, a specific question, or even a specific statement, may prompt more of a response than the more general \u201cHow was school today?\u201d If you listen to your child\u2019s answer, and (if the opening is there) ask another question, you\u2019ll be on your way to a meaningful conversation. Ask about specific people and events in your child\u2019s life:<\/strong> Ask kids about what bugs them.<\/strong> Everybody likes to complain, so if your child is in a bad mood, ask what\u2019s wrong. You might find that within a few minutes, your child is telling you what she likes. You might ask: Make comments about schoolwork.<\/strong> You can look over your child\u2019s work or the teacher\u2019s weekly class note, and ask:
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\nBe sure to listen \u2013 JUST listen.\u00a0 When kids learn that these conversations turn into parent \u201cyou shoulds\u201d or are otherwise laden with adult hidden agendas, they develop ways to avoid telling the real story.\u00a0 Does \u201cWho did you eat lunch with?\u201d\u00a0 really mean I\u2019m worried that you don\u2019t have any friends.
\nDoes \u201cHow was math class today?\u201d really mean did you get in trouble again today?<\/p>\n
\nYou may want to address issues that come up, but give your child a chance to take ownership of any problems and communicate a belief that your child can take care of him or herself.\u00a0 Listen attentively for hints as to what your child needs from you.\u00a0 Empathy, encouragement, problem solving?<\/p>\n\n
\nTry these strategies to get kids and parents talking about school and listening to each other in meaningful ways. http:\/\/www.pbs.org\/parents\/education\/going-to-school\/talking-with-kids-about-school\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\nQuestions that Work<\/h2>\n
\nAsk kids about what interests them:<\/strong>
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you do that was fun today?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cDid anything funny happen?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWhat did you like best today?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cDid you read any new books in library?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cHow did the science experiment turn out?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cDid Mrs. Stone go over that math test?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWhat did Mr. Zeiner talk about in social studies?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWho\u2019d you sit next to on the bus?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cDid Mrs. Davis call on you today?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cAre you and Helen still having a hard time?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cHow are you and Charlie doing?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWhat do your friends think about the substitute teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cAnybody get on your nerves today?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWas your teacher annoying again?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWas there anything really hard for you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWow, what a cool picture of a squirrel. I like the bushy tail. What does he use it for?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cCan you explain photosynthesis to me?\u201d
\n\u00b7\u00a0 \u201cWhat is a whole number, anyway?\u201d
\nhttp:\/\/www.pbs.org\/parents\/education\/going-to-school\/talking-with-kids-about-school\/questions\/<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"