{"id":333,"date":"2010-12-22T09:43:27","date_gmt":"2010-12-22T14:43:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.aupairinamerica.com\/phs\/2010\/12\/22\/surviving-the-holiday-season\/"},"modified":"2010-12-22T09:43:27","modified_gmt":"2010-12-22T14:43:27","slug":"surviving-the-holiday-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.aupairinamerica.com\/phs\/2010\/12\/22\/surviving-the-holiday-season\/","title":{"rendered":"Surviving the Holiday Season."},"content":{"rendered":"

The Holidays should be a time of joy and excitement.\u00a0 From\u00a0my experience, we have noticed they can also be a time of stress and disappointment for Host Families and Au Pairs.\u00a0\u00a0I would like to offer some ideas and insights that\u00a0I hope can broaden everyone\u2019s understanding.<\/h2>\n

Homesickness<\/span><\/h2>\n

First, let\u2019s face the issue of homesickness.\u00a0 Host Families, this can be a problem at this time of year even if it hasn\u2019t been in the past. Important people and places are missed.\u00a0 Our traditions and activities seem \u201cdifferent\u201d just at a time when an Au Pair craves the \u201cfamiliar\u201d celebration.\u00a0 My observation has been that an Au Pair\u2019s emotions are closer to the surface during the holidays.\u00a0 Her highs are higher, her lows are lower.\u00a0 The enormity of what she is accomplishing\u2026actually living and working in another culture, (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)\u2026 can induce a self-protective mode.\u00a0 You can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be such as when the candles will be lit, the stockings hung, the gifts given, the meals<\/a> prepared and eaten, the relatives arriving, etc.. Let her know what you will be doing, when you will be doing it, and what she can expect.\u00a0 Talk to her about what must be accomplished and get her involved. Ask her if she has any favorite holiday foods or traditions that could be incorporated into your celebration. Give her some clear, agreed-upon assignments. Remember, her parents have probably handled the organization in previous years, so don\u2019t expect her to \u201cknow\u201d what needs to be done. Make her feel a part of things.\u00a0 And, let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.\u00a0 Try to cut a little slack, then be pleased with progress.<\/p>\n

Au Pairs, regarding homesickness\u2026you knew when you came for a year that family and religious holidays would be a part of that year.\u00a0\u00a0 If you get involved and active in the family\u2019s plans, I assure you that next year you will be thinking about this family and missing their celebrations!\u00a0 Your Host Family will make many efforts to assure that this holiday in<\/a> America is special for you.\u00a0 It is important to your Host Family that you acknowledge their efforts.\u00a0 Show your appreciation and participate, participate, participate!!!\u00a0 Look for ways to help.\u00a0 If you aren\u2019t certain, ask!\u00a0 Thinking about someone other than yourself is the best way to manage homesickness.<\/p>\n

Routine Changes<\/span><\/h2>\n

Host Families, another problem to consider is how the dynamics of the established relationships and routines change during the holidays.\u00a0 Parents are home more and this demands adjustment for the children as well as the Au Pair.\u00a0 Different work expectations may be needed since the kids may prefer to hover around the parents.\u00a0 This can make an Au Pair feel unwanted and unsure of what is expected of her.\u00a0 She may not see the specific needs of the children other than the usual.\u00a0 The high emotions and energy of the children (compared to their more reasonable behavior during the rest of the year, I\u2019m sure) may be difficult to handle even for the most confident Au Pair.\u00a0 Assure her that this behavior is temporary and will be back to normal soon.\u00a0 In the meantime, suggest specific things she can do to help.\u00a0 Encourage her to roll with the punches and enjoy the energy of the season.\u00a0 The quantity of gifts given to the children and the excesses of gifts, food, decorations, etc. can be overwhelming.\u00a0 In everyone\u2019s best interest, make sure there is some quiet, meaningful time together when the true spirit of the holidays is shared.<\/p>\n

Au Pairs, life will be busy and, perhaps, stressful for the Host Family as they do all that they would like during the holiday season.\u00a0 Celebrations don\u2019t just \u201chappen\u201d\u2026there is a lot of work involved in having fun!\u00a0 Your Orientation information from Connecticut, under \u201cPolicies and Procedures\u201d very clearly states under \u201cHolidays\u201d that there are no automatic\u00a0 \u201cholidays off.\u201d\u00a0 You are expected to help with the work and responsibility. Your Host Family may not be at their usual jobs, but they are putting in great effort to prepare for the family celebration.\u00a0 Your Host Parents are very successful day to day, but, these same people will be in an absolute panic trying to prepare holiday meals, get all of the toys assembled and wrapped, and create a \u201cperfect\u201d day for their family AND for you.\u00a0 Find ways to help!\u00a0\u00a0 Play games with the children, bundle them up and take them for walks, visit the library with them, use up some of their energy.\u00a0 This can free the parents for other things.\u00a0 If the children want to be in the middle of the action, then find other ways to help.\u00a0 You can keep the kitchen floor swept, do the extra laundry, prepare lunch when parents are busy.\u00a0 BE CREATIVE about what you can do.\u00a0 During your free time all year, you have the choice to be one of the children or one of the adults in your family\u2026this is definitely the time to be one of the adults!\u00a0 Keep your eyes and hearts open for moments to help out!<\/p>\n

Social Life<\/span><\/h2>\n

Host Families, remember that socially, the holidays are a time when Au Pairs want to be with their friends.\u00a0 Christmas Eve, in some countries, is spent with friends rather than family.\u00a0 New Year\u2019s Eve in America is a very special occasion to them.\u00a0 Discuss your plans and expectations with each other.\u00a0 Be as generous with free time as possible.<\/p>\n

Au Pairs, if you treat family holidays as a time to disappear every evening, and sleep all day, you can expect to disappoint your family.\u00a0 If you came to learn family customs, then please know that our customs during the holidays include working together, sharing responsibility, and spending time with the extended family.\u00a0 As for\u00a0 \u2018New Years Eve,\u2019 all of you would like to have this night off to celebrate, but many of you will be asked to work.\u00a0 If this is part of your responsibility, do it with good grace and cooperation.\u00a0 It is only one night out of your 13 months here!\u00a0\u00a0 If your Host Parents make arrangements so you can be free, express your appreciation.<\/p>\n

Host Families and Au Pairs, these are important days ahead. They will involve adjustment, but will create fun-filled memories if you let them.\u00a0 This is a time of love and understanding.\u00a0 Please do your part to reflect these priorities.<\/p>\n

I wish you all a very wonderful holiday season and a happy and healthy new year.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Holidays should be a time of joy and excitement.\u00a0 From\u00a0my experience, we have noticed they can also be a time of stress and disappointment for Host Families and Au Pairs.\u00a0\u00a0I would like to offer some ideas and insights that\u00a0I hope can broaden everyone\u2019s understanding. Homesickness First, let\u2019s face the issue of homesickness.\u00a0 Host Families, Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6,1],"tags":[19,20,38,46,53,90,91,93,94,204,117,148,165,187],"class_list":["post-333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-au-pair-tips","category-host-family-tips","category-uncategorized","tag-au-pair","tag-au-pairs","tag-celebrations","tag-christmas","tag-cultural","tag-holidays","tag-homesickness","tag-host-families","tag-host-family","tag-kids","tag-nanny","tag-shopping","tag-stress","tag-vacation"],"yoast_head":"\nSurviving the Holiday Season. - Janet's Au Pair In America Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Surviving the Holiday Season. - Janet's Au Pair In America Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Holidays should be a time of joy and excitement.\u00a0 From\u00a0my experience, we have noticed they can also be a time of stress and disappointment for Host Families and Au Pairs.\u00a0\u00a0I would like to offer some ideas and insights that\u00a0I hope can broaden everyone\u2019s understanding. 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