The regulations for the program are set by the United States State Department, and can be found in their official form in the Host Family Handbook in your Host Family Orientation packet. The State Department carefully monitors the program for compliance to the regulations.This is intended as a supplement to the Host Family Handbook, please read both documents carefully.
Au Pair Hours: Au Pairs may work no more than 10 hours in a day and no more than 45 hours in a week. The 45 hours is a maximum and no deals may be made with an Au Pair for extra work time. Any time that the Au Pair is not free to leave the home, or is the adult responsible for the welfare of the children, even if it is during the night, is considered work time, and must be counted towards the 45-hour limit. The 45 hours may be spread over no more than 5-1/2 days in week.
There is no banking of hours permitted, an Au Pair who works 30 hours one week does not owe the family 15 hours at a future time.
Au Pairs should be given a written weekly work schedule at the beginning of the week. Au Pairs greatly appreciate knowing an accurate time when they will be finished for the day.
Au Pairs must have 1-1/2 days off each week and one full weekend off per month, from Friday night to Monday morning. The one-half day is defined as no more than one half of the usual number of working hours on a typical day (therefore a maximum of 5 hours).
Backup sitters may be needed if the parents need more than 45 hours of child care during one week, if they need additional weekend coverage, if the Au Pair is too ill to work, or when the Au Pair has a class, a cluster meeting or is away on vacation.
Note: An Au Pair is not to be given sole responsibility for the children until she has been in your home for three days. In addition, no Au Pair may ever be left alone with any child under three months of age.
13th Month – The Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) allows the holder to take an additional (13th) month at the conclusion of the exchange to travel in the United States. They are not permitted to provide child care during the 13th month.
Household Responsibilities: The federal regulations permit an Au Pair to do only child related housework: straightening children’s rooms and play area, doing children’s laundry, preparing and cleaning up children’s meals. When your Au Pair participates in family routines (such as meals) it is reasonable to expect that she will help with preparation or clean up, the same degree that host parents participate. This is not to be exploited; she is to be considered as a member of the family, not as a domestic. Au Pairs may be asked to do some of the grocery shopping, but family marketing should not be their exclusive responsibility.
Car Use: Talk to your Au Pair in clear terms about the factors of responsibility, safety and privilege in the use of the car. Remind her that seat belts are mandatory for everyone.
Do not let her use the car until you have taken her for “test drive” to acquaint her with the use of your car. This will also give you an opportunity to point out typical placement of traffic signals and signs as well as signs for speed limits and parking restrictions. If you prefer particular gas stations or type of gas, please remember to share this information. Remind her that seat belts are mandatory for everyone.
RI law allows most foreign nationals to drive in the state for one year with either an international driver’s license or a license from their home country (along with a translation of the license). Your au pair may choose to get a RI license, even though it is not mandatory; and she must obtain a RI driver’s license if she extends for a second year. The procedure for getting a license is included in the Au Pair’s welcome pack. This information is also listed in our RI cluster website.
Be sure your insurance covers the Au Pair as a driver; payment of the premium is the family’s responsibility. Should an accident occur, and the Au Pair was completely or partially negligent, she could be asked to pay part of the deductible. In any event, this should not exceed $250. You may also want to take into consideration if she was using the car for work or pleasure when you determine her responsibility for the deductible.
If the Au Pair is using the car for work, the host family should assume the expense of the gas used for work purposes. Many families choose to provide gas for leisure use as well. Routine car maintenance is the responsibility of the host family, but make sure your Au Pair is familiar with the warning signs for your particular car.
Some host families create an emergency envelope for the glove compartment containing step-by-step instructions in case of accident or mechanical failure, as well as essential papers and instructions for the Au Pair if she is pulled over by the police. Some families include emergency cash.
Education: Host families are expected to help Au Pairs identify appropriate and affordable educational programs. The Au Pair is required to take accredited post-secondary courses as part of her program, for a total of 6 credit hours (or approximately 80 classroom hours) over the course of her year (Community adult education is not acceptable for the requirements of the program). The host family is to pay up to $500 per year in course fees, books and materials. Once an Au Pair has enrolled in a class that is in accordance with the host family’s schedule, she should not be asked to miss class in order to accommodate a change in schedule. An exception to this might be when a child is sick and the Au Pair is taking a daytime class. Host families should remember to inform au pairs of upcoming vacations that might effect her ability to attend class. Host families are responsible for transportation to and from the class; if the Au Pair takes public transportation to her classes the Host Family should pay the fare.
Vacations and Au Pair Travel: Each Au Pair is entitled to a minimum of two weeks off during the year with pocket money paid in advance. Ideally, one week would be taken near the end of the first six months, and the second week would be taken toward the end of the Au Pair’s stay with you. Vacation days are to be decided on by mutual agreement, and should be agreed on well in advance. If vacation is taken by the day rather than by the week, it should be calculated on the basis of a total of ten or eleven days (depending on whether the Au Pair typically works five or five and one-half days per week). These vacation days are in addition to the full weekend off every month.
If you are taking a vacation with the children that does not include the Au Pair, you are still obligated to pay the weekly stipend for that period of time. If she does stay behind, she may assume plant and routine pet care, but should not be given additional household responsibilities that are not hers under ordinary circumstances.
If the Au Pair joins you on a family vacation and will be taking care of the children, it cannot be considered her vacation and she must be paid. She is not responsible for her travel expenses if she is traveling with you and working. While away, it is especially important to be clear about when the Au Pair is working and when she has free time.
If the host parents travel overnight and leave the children at home with the Au Pair, it is important to arrange backup childcare. Any time, day or night, when the Au Pair has sole responsibility for your child/children, it is considered working hours.
Whenever your Au Pair travels out of town, please ask her for a number where she can be reached in case of emergency. If you are traveling at the same time, please leave emergency contact information with the community counselor.
If your Au Pair is traveling out of the country, she must make special arrangements for her visa. Please have her contact the Community Counselor for more information.
Weekly Stipend: Choose the day of the week you will give your Au Pair her weekly stipend; this makes it easier to remember. It helps to keep a written record as well.
The weekly stipend is paid to the Au Pair every week during the contract period even if the Au Pair is ill and unable to work, when she is on vacation, if the host family is on vacation and has chosen not to include the Au Pair, or if she is working a reduced schedule. Au Pairs are not allowed to accept employment outside your home under any circumstances as it is in direct violation of her visa.
Decide what expenses you will be paying for in addition to the Au Pair’s tuition: telephone allowance, transportation, gas, health club membership, etc. The weekly stipend minimum does not take into consideration the number or ages of children the Au Pair cares for, nor does it adjust for the geographic differences in cost of living. Many families find that a pocket money increase based on merit during the year is greatly appreciated.
Health and Accident Insurance: Your Au Pair is covered under a medical insurance policy arranged by Au Pair in America. Details of the medical insurance, including policy number, dollar limits of coverage, and exclusions are available in the Insurance Brochures:
http://www.aupairinamerica.com/resources/life_in_the_us/insurance_3.asp
Emergencies: Please handle accidents and medical emergencies as you would for any family member, then call the counselor. In a true emergency, if the counselor cannot be reached within a reasonable amount of time, call the 24-hour answering service at the Stamford office (1-800-928-7247).
Living with an Au Pair
Day One: You have opened your home to someone else’s daughter; please make her feel welcome. When your Au Pair arrives, she will be tired, excited and probably anxious. It’s a good idea to give her a few days to unpack, rest and get acclimated to your home, family and neighborhood before expecting her to assume child care responsibilities. According to USIA regulations, she is not allowed to assume sole responsibility for your children until after she has been in your home three days. Allow her to find ways to make her space her own; mounting a bulletin board on the wall is one easy way to do this. You can expect the Community Counselor to call and/or visit within the first forty-eight hours of the Au Pair’s stay with you.
Cultural Exchange: The spirit of this exchange program is that Au Pairs be welcomed as family members and should be included in some family activities (meals, outings, and holidays). The Family is expected to help with information about the area. It has been proven that Au Pairs who find interesting and stimulating things to do during their free time are happier, and thus more energetic and creative with the children. Please remember to consider your Au Pair’s food preferences when buying groceries. Even as your Au Pair becomes more integrated into American life and her own peer group, it is a good idea to have her join you for at least one family meal a week.
Communication: Talk, share feelings, listen. If your schedule is too hectic for daily check-in, be sure to arrange a scheduled weekly “meeting” to keep communication open.
Write down particularly important instructions.
Try to keep communication straightforward and clear. Even native English speakers have different styles of communication and may misunderstand your words or your intent.
Try to double check on comprehension if the issue is particularly important.
Try to explain family and American customs.
The affection your Au Pair develops for your children is encouraged by the support and understanding she gets from you.
Unwritten family rules: Please think about your family customs which are assumed but rarely articulated. Your Au Pair needs to have these explained so they do not become issues later on.
Examples of such “rules” are: Table manners, limits on noise levels in the home, acceptable house for phone calls, limits on the use of TV and stereo, limits on computer use, family modesty, where food can be eaten in the house, taking shoes off when entering, recycling, subjects not to be discussed with children, private vs. communal property.
Telephone: Please discuss specific rules with regard to phone time limits, calling hours, call waiting, which line to use if there is more than one, calls during work hours, cell phone use, desired method for answering phone and taking messages, use of the answering machine, use by children.
Explain that phone bills are itemized and international calls are very expensive. It is a good idea to suggest that your au pair purchase a pre-paid phone card to be used with a land line for any international calls. Au Pair in America is not responsible for any expenses the Au Pair may have caused using your phone.
Au Pair Events: There are usually cluster and/or regional events every month. It is important for your Au Pair to participate in at least one per month. Please try to be sure that she is free to do so and has the necessary transportation to participate.
Holiday Blues: Special sensitivity should be shown around holiday times when the Au Pair is likely to be homesick. If possible, either include her in your celebrations or allow her to celebrate with friends.
Emergency Fund: It may be helpful to put a specific amount of cash in a designated spot for unexpected events that require payment – anything from a last minute run to the market for milk to having to take a taxi home in an emergency. You may also want to consider an envelope in the car for car emergencies.
Community Counselor: The counselor is available to both the au pair and the family for assistance, support, and mediation when necessary. Approximately two weeks after placement, the counselor will make a home visit to assess the progress of the match. Monthly contact will be maintained; families are encouraged to call the counselor to help maintain regular contact. The counselor holds regular meetings and other social/cultural events for the Au Pairs. These provide the Au Pair with a much needed peer group as well as a forum for discussion of concerns and issues that might arise.
A special family day event will be scheduled once a year to address cross-cultural issues. Host families are expected to make every reasonable effort to attend.
Stress: Please be sensitive to warning signs of stress, and be prepared to adjust the Au Pair’s work schedule if necessary. Share your own strategies for coping with the normal stresses of caring for children. Help the Au Pair to minimize isolation.
What makes a great host family: Based on information from a survey of au pairs: Show appreciation, remember to pay the au pair every week, show interest in what the au pair does in her time off, give the au pair a chance to talk to you after you return from work without being rushed, respect the au pair’s privacy.