- Set limits for me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I am only testing you
- Be firm with me. I prefer it. It lets me know where I stand
- Lead me rather than force me. If you force me, it teaches me that power is all that counts. I will
respond more readily to being led. - Be consistent. Inconsistency confuses me and makes me try harder to get away with everything I
can. - Make promises that you will be able to keep. That will encourage my trust in you
- Remember that I am being provocative when I say and do things just to upset you. If you fall for my
provocations, I’ll try for more such victories. - Keep calm when I say “I hate you.” I don’t mean it, I just want you to feel sorry for what you have
done to me. - Help me feel big rather than small. I will make up for feeling small by behaving like a “big shot.”
- Let me do the things that I can do for myself. If you do them for me, it makes me feel like a baby,
and I may continue to put you in my service. - Correct me in private. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private rather than with
other people present. - Discuss any behavior when the conflict has subsided. In the heat of conflict for some reason my
hearing is not very good and my cooperation is even worse. It is all right for you to take the action
required, but let’s not talk about it until later. - Talk with me rather than preach to me. You’d be surprised how well I know what’s right and wrong.
- Help me feel that my mistakes are not bad. I have to learn to make mistakes without feeling that I
am no good.