Category Archives: Host Family Tips

Caring for Two or More Children

Everybody likes attention. Children particularly enjoy the attention of adults, and they often want undivided when it is least possible to receive it. The adult needs to have appropriate expectations, set reasonable limits, and problem-solve in creative ways when there is more than one child to care for.

The goal is to find activities that both children can enjoy together. When they are of different ages and abilities, their attention span and understanding of the game or project may be different as well, but still the tasks can be adjusted to suit different children. For example, if two children are involved in cooking, one may be able to carefully measure ingredients, and the other child can be in charge of pouring the ingredients into the bowl. If an older child is carefully working on a coloring project, give a younger child his own sheet of paper and crayons, making it clear that everyone is working on their own. Keep the tasks age-appropriate, and save the ‘grown up’ activities involving small pieces or sustained concentration for the younger child’s nap time.

It is important to remember that children of different ages will play with the same toys in different ways, depending on their age and ability. The adult may need to work to keep the younger child engaged with the activity longer, so as not to interfere with the older child’s efforts. For example, they could both play with blocks, but it may take adult intervention to keep a younger child from disturbing what the older child has built. The older child may be interested in creating an elaborate building or a city with cars, people or animals. Perhaps the younger child can play with it after it is built.

When playing a game with two children of different abilities, it may be necessary to change the rules to accommodate everybody. Try enlisting the understanding of the older child; remind her that she wasn’t always able to do all the things she does now. An older child can take pleasure in helping a younger brother or sister learn new skills. Have the children take turns playing “follow the leader” or “hide and seek.” Games of imagination work well, with the children taking different roles, or a scavenger hunt, with the adult giving necessary assistance to the younger child.

An older child may not always like this attention-sharing. You can give him the choice of doing the activity with you and the younger child in the way you have described, or to play by himself. Try planning ahead for the younger child’s nap time and arrange to do a special activity with the older child then, but don’t be disappointed if the older child turns you down. Children sometimes only want attention when they can’t have it.

The adult must be sure that each child does get appropriate attention, and that one child is not always being sacrificed for the other. It is easy to give a baby more attention, but babies can learn at an early age to watch and participate with others too. It may even be possible to hold a younger child on your lap while you do more grown up things with the older child. Babies can also be left to play by themselves in a playpen or a crib for short periods of time to enable the older child to have some one-on-one attention.

Remember that whatever the activity, you must be able to see both (or all) the children to be sure they are safe.

Thanks to Etta Rosen for this article.

 

Child Safety Tips

NOLSafety

Host families are advised to discuss child safety tips with their newly arrived au pairs and review them occasionally during the year to make au pairs are well informed and follow family’s safety rules.

Fire Safety

  • Never play with matches or cigarette lighters.  Both should be out of reach from young children.
  • Check with your family about an escape plan if there is a fire in the house.
  • Have emergency numbers posted by the telephone. Children can be taught to call these numbers in an emergency.
  • Know where a fire extinguisher is in the house and how to use it.
  • Make sure to turn the stove off after use.

Water Safety

  • Never leave children and infants unsupervised in a bathtub. Children can drown in a couple of inches of water.
  • Never leave buckets of water unattended around young children.
  • Make sure children are closely supervised when swimming in a pool.

Street Safety

  • Look both ways before crossing the street.
  • Discuss traffic lights – Green means go, Yellow means wait, Red means stop.
  • Never chase a ball into the street.
  • Streets are for cars – children should play in a yard, not the street.
  • Learn street signs and what they mean (STOP sign, CROSSWALK, etc.).
  • Never play behind parked cars on the driveway.
  • Watch carefully when walking behind parked cars.

Home Safety

  • Chemicals, bleaches, sharp knives, plastic bags, spray cans, pills and medications should all be out of reach from children.
  • Emergency Phone Numbers, including poison control center, should be posted near a telephone.
  • Inform children that leaves, stems and berries are not food and should be kept out of their mouths.   Never eat wild plants. Many of them are poisonous.   Never eat or touch toadstools that may grow around trees or in grass.
  • Unused electrical outlets should be covered.
  • Make sure smoke detectors are working.

Strangers

  • Never talk to strangers or go near a stranger’s car.
  • Do not accept money, candy or gifts from strangers.
  • Never take a ride from a stranger.

Au pairs should check with their host parents to clearly understand where children are permitted to go alone or with others. Children should always let their parents or au pair know where they are.

Back to School Check List

NOLbacktoschoolMany children in our cluster have already started school and the rest will start it shortly. To ease the transition, it’s important for host parents and au pairs to discuss changes in schedules, duties, and routines.

You may want to review the following:

  • Au pair’s schedule
  • The children’s schedule, including school and extracurricular activities
  • Breakfast routine and types of healthy food to serve
  • What to pack for lunch
  • What to do when a child is staying home sick
  • What to do when a child is late for school
  • After school routine (snacks and free time before starting homework)
  • Designated spot for school bags, lunch boxes and papers that need parent’s signature

If au pair drives children to and from school, it’s important to discuss:

  • Buckling seat belts securely
  • Lining up in a car queue
  • Making sure children get on/off on the right side of the car
  • Holding a young child’s hand in the parking lot
  • NEVER leaving a child in the car when dropping off a sibling
  • Observing 20 mph speed limit in school zones
  • Never passing a school bus when it shows a stop sign

Holiday Season

NOLHolidayseason

The winter holiday season is most often a time of joy and excitement. However, it can also be a time of stress and disappointment for both host families and au pairs. Here are some ideas and insights that will hopefully broaden an understanding of the complexities of the season with different nationalities and perhaps different religions sharing the season under one roof.

Homesickness can be a problem during the holidays, even if it hasn’t been at any other time of the year. Au pairs often miss their friends and family, familiar places and their own traditions and customs. The holiday activities in the United States seem, and may actually be, different just at a time when an au pair would welcome something familiar. It is common for au pairs’ emotions to be close to the surface during the holidays. Her highs are higher, her lows are lower. The enormity of what she has done–actually living in another country (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)–hits her and throws her into a self-protective mode. You can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be (gifts, meals, visitors, religious services, in-home traditions, or none of these, as the case may be). In the spirit of cultural exchange, ask her if she has any favorite holiday traditions or foods that you might be able to incorporate into your family’s celebration of the season. Let her know what you will be doing, when you will be doing it, and what she can expect. Talk to her about what has to be accomplished and get her involved and interested. Don’t expect her to just “know” what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed upon assignments. Make her feel a part of things. And, let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.

For au pairs with religious beliefs different from your own, you may choose to encourage her to share the associated traditions with your family. If you are not comfortable with this aspect of cultural exchange, your au pair may need your help as well as appropriate time off to participate in her own holiday traditions with another family, with a community group or with a religious institution. Enabling her to do this is very important. Her holiday or her time to celebrate the holiday may not be the same as yours; try to take this into consideration if you can when you make her work schedule. You may find that there is no conflict in giving her time off if her traditions are different, and it can relieve a great deal of anxiety to take her preferences into consideration. If you do need your au pair to work during the holiday, please tell her way in advance so that it is not a surprise. Help her to see this as a positive aspect of the cultural exchange if she will be actively sharing in the holiday celebration.

The dynamics of established relationships and routines change during the holiday. The parents are home more, and this is unsettling to the children as well as to the au pair. Some different work expectations may be needed since the kids may prefer to hover around the parents. This can make an au pair feel unwanted and unsure of what is expected of her. The high emotions and energy of the children (compared to their more reasonable behavior during the rest of the year) may seem like craziness to the au pair. Assure her that this new set of behaviors is temporary and the household will be back to normal soon. In the meantime, suggest specific things she can do to help. Encourage her to roll with the punches and enjoy the craziness. Also, the quantity of gifts, food, decorations, etc., can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. Try to include the au pair in some quiet, meaningful time together when the true spirit of the holidays is shared.

The holidays are a time when au pairs want to be with their friends. Christmas Eve, in some countries, is spent with friends rather than family. New Year’s Eve in America is a very special occasion to them. Discuss your plans and expectations with each other. Be as generous with time as possible.

These are important days ahead. This is perhaps the greatest opportunity of the year to respect and learn about cultural differences, which is, indeed, one of the basic elements of the Au Pair in America program. There will be fun-filled memories. This should be a time of love and understanding. Please do your part to make that happen.

Wishing you all every happiness of the season!

Nominations for Au Pair of the Year

NOLstarIs your au pair a superstar? Let us know!
Nominate your au pair for Au Pair of the Year!

Dear Host Family,

Annually thousands of young people from all over the world embark on a special journey by becoming au pairs. Leaving behind the familiarity of their homeland, they are welcomed into another culture as part of their host family and assume the great responsibility of caring for their host family’s children. For many au pairs this is their first experience of a new country and culture. Here is your opportunity to share your own special story about your au pair.

Each year the International Au Pair Association (IAPA) awards one exceptional au pair with the title “Au Pair of the Year.” The “Au Pair of the Year” award not only celebrates one young person’s achievements as an au pair, but gives positive recognition to all au pairs and au pair programs across the world through its international media coverage.

We at Au Pair in America, a member of IAPA, urge you to nominate your au pair for “Au Pair of the Year”. Not only will you give her the opportunity to win this prestigious award, but all nominees will receive an official certificate by mail from Au Pair in America. Whether she wins the title or is simply nominated, it is an achievement she will be proud of for years to come.

If you have any questions, please contact aupairoftheyear@aifs.com.

Kind Regards,
Au Pair in America

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

NOLturkeyTHANKSGIVING falls on the fourth Thursday of November. It is as a legal holiday in the United States and commemorates the feast held at Plymouth in 1621 by the Pilgrim colonists and members of the Wampanoag people. The feast was held to honor God and give him thanks for harvest and health.

Thanksgiving has religious and cultural origins but is also celebrated in a secular fashion.

The most common dishes on a Thanksgiving table are: TURKEY, sweet potato casserole, collard greens, squash, cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce and in New Orleans – shrimp and grits.

During a traditional ceremony at the White House, the president of the United States “pardons the turkey” which means the bird can spend the rest of its days back on the farm rather than on a Thanksgiving table.

The day after Thanksgiving, on BLACK FRIDAY people rush to the stores to buy highly discounted merchandise. Black Friday is considered the beginning of the Christmas shopping season.

Thanksgiving Fun For Kids

Here are some activities you can do with the children to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Click here to find crafts, coloring sheets, spelling worksheets, math puzzles,  nametags and more.

http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/thanksgiving/

http://www.parenting.com/gallery/thanksgiving-crafts-ideas

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/23-clever-crafts-to-keep-the-kids-busy-on-thanksgiving

Creative Outdoor Play

Outdoor play is more than merely supervising children – it is an interactive learning experience with endless possibilities, and is essential to a child’s development.

Researchers have found movement to be crucial to children’s development and are concerned with the amount of inactive time children spend watching television, playing video games or working with computers. An excellent resource on this topic is Jane Healy’s book Endangered Minds. It is shown that children need to have large amounts of unstructured playtime in order to develop well- rounded personalities, to build self-esteem and self-confidence, develop healthy social skills by participating in group activities, and to stimulate their intellectual development.

Playing outdoors allows children the physical freedom that is not always possible indoors. The more children move, the more they learn, and children can play outdoors year-round with appropriate clothing.

Children of all ages need to explore the outdoor environment and learn from their experiences. Children are able to learn about the four basic elements of nature — air, fire, earth and water. They can find places to pretend they are whoever they want to be, such as a firefighter a super-hero or an animal. There are places for creativity, such as drawing on the sidewalk with chalk or painting the driveway with water. Children can look for something heavy or light, something smooth or rough, something bright or dark, something man-made or natural, something huge or tiny, the possibilities are endless.

Creative outdoor play takes what is already on this earth and uses it in a way which is unique to a child: digging in the dirt or sand, making ditches and rivers where toy boats can float, or creating roads for toy trucks and cars. It means giving children the freedom for exploration and discovery. Children grow by daring, risking, failing, redoing and succeeding. Help children grow mentally and physically by playing outdoors whenever possible, giving them the opportunity to learn from the world around them.

Toys, Toys, Toys!

Most American children seem to have more toys than children in any other country. Toys are in the children’s bedrooms, the family room, the garage, the basement and even in kitchen cupboards. And during the holiday season and at birthdays, most children will receive more toys as gifts. Do children really need all these toys? Are they necessary for their development? Are some toys better than other? These are a few questions to be answered.

Toys are materials that facilitate play. Toys can be store-bought or homemade, and do not need to be expensive. Children can create toys out of empty boxes, fabric pieces, masking tape, toilet paper tubes, plastic bottle caps, or whatever they choose. Years ago, there were no big stores with rows and rows of toys. Children played with toy dolls made out of corncobs and used their imagination.

Children do not need lots and lots of toys to play with. In fact, children can become overwhelmed by the amount of toys to choose from. Sometimes, it is better to sort through the toys and store some away for a a couple of weeks.

Criteria for selecting appropriate toys include: Is the toy safe? Is it fun? Can the toy be used with little adult supervision? Is the toy durable and versatile? Does it encourage large or small muscle development and eye-hand coordination? Does the toy encourage imagination, creativity or intellectual development? Is the toy developmentally appropriate for the child? Does the toy have more than one use?

The more ways a toy can be used, the better. Open-ended toys encourage creativity and stimulate intellectual development, and include blocks, and other building sets, markers and crayons, baby dolls, pots & pans, and playdough. Wind-up toys, talking dolls and coloring books are generally considered inappropriate because there is only one correct way to play with them.

Suggested toys for infants include nesting blocks, busy boards, shape sorters, balls and books. Infants learn through their senses so as they roll, reach, grasp and crawl, they need a variety of objects to see, hear and touch.

Toddlers seem to prefer pots, pans and containers in the cupboards rather than shiny new toys. Children of this age have a high energy level and are struggling to become independent. Therefore, toddlers explore and get into everything. They prefer toys that can be taken apart and put back together, dump trucks, blocks, sorting materials, toys that make sounds or movements, and toys that stimulate make-believe play. Both infants and toddlers only need a few toys to play with at one time.

Preschoolers and kindergartners enjoy dress-up clothes, blocks, manipulative toys that can be built into something, books, puzzles and wheeled vehicles for their motor development. School-age children are ready for board games, other games with rules, puppets, puppet stage, books, construction toys or toys that can be built into things, such as model kits and crafts.

The toys provided for children reflect our social and cultural issues and can influence a child’s knowledge of the world. Toys that promote violence should be limited. Some say the best toys for children are those that have been around for 30 or more years such as baby dolls and blocks.  The best toys stimulate a child’s imagination, promote self esteem, have no right or wrong uses, and are process-oriented rather than product-oriented.

Television, Videos and Children

Television may be either an enemy or a best friend in American homes. To gain the potential value from television, it should be used carefully and intelligently with clear and consistent limits. Every family has different rules and expectations regarding the use of television, and these must be respected at any time children of any age are present.

When children watch television there are some things they are NOT doing simply because they are watching television. Most importantly, they are not getting exercise and they are not interacting. Television watching is a passive activity, it is one way, the children only receive. There are no opportunities for developing social skills. Many children enter an almost trance-like state when they are watching television; they don’t hear when they are spoken to and their eyes glaze over. If children are left to watch television for prolonged periods of time they may be cranky and misbehave when they stop watching television. This is similar to early-morning crankiness: it takes a few minutes for some children to readjust to their normal state.

Although television may offer a welcome break in the day, and keep children occupied when the adults need to tend to someone or something else, the inactivity of television watching can actually lead to irritability and boredom, and make children feel more tired. Some experts say that it can help develop language skills or teach information, but the best way of learning is by doing. Television is not a substitute for conversation, or for games and activities involving imagination and creativity.

Nonetheless, television is part of life in America in almost every home. The adult supervising the child must pay attention to the show(s) children watch to be sure that they are appropriate. Even some cartoons may be too violent or socially inappropriate for young children. When adults watch television with children it is a good idea to discuss what is being watched. Ask what and why questions about what you have seen. Is it realistic? How do the characters treat each other? Why? What would the child do in a similar situation (if it is realistic)? What did they learn from the program? If it is an educational, show such as a science or reading program, try following it up with a related activity at home. Even very young children can pickup cues from adult programs such as soap operas and MTV- these should not be on if any children are in the room. Some families prefer that children limit themselves to videos, or television shows on “public television” (PBS) where there are no commercials. Television advertising encourages children to ask for food that may not be part of a healthy diet, and toys that might appear to perform better than they actually do. For older children commercials may suggest or encourage behaviors or physical appearance that may be inappropriate or confusing for children, such as beer commercials, or advertisements with very thin models.

There is wide-spread interest in improving and monitoring the quality of programming for children, but there is still much debate about this issue.

Flu Season – Helpful Tips

Dear host families and au pairs,

See below helpful tips from the Center for Disease Control on preventing the spread of germs and dealing with flu-like symptoms.

Since some of the recommendations are open to interpretation (ex. avoid contact with sick people), it is recommended that host families and au pairs discuss the proper procedures in sufficient detail to make it clear what is appropriate and expected in a given household.

Helpful Tips

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has helpful tips on everyday preventive actions to STOP the spread of germs:

1. Try to avoid close contact with sick people.

2.  If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.)

3. While sick, limit contact with others as much as possible to keep from infecting them.

4. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.

5. Wash your hands often with soap and water. If soap and water are not available, use an alcohol based rub.

6.  Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth. Germs spread this way.

7. Clean and disinfect surfaces and objects that may be contaminated with germs like the flu.

8. To find out more information about the flu and how it may affect you visit the CDC website at cdc.gov