Yearly Archives: 2017

Homesickness

Believe in Your Dreams:

It is completely normal to feel homesick sometimes when we are far from home.  Homesickness comes from feeling disconnected from people, places and routines.  It is an emotion that passes with time.  Remember: It.is.normal.

Here are some things to do if you are feeling a little blue:

  • Be a tourist, get to know where you live, visit the local sights and explore just as you would if on vacation.  Start a list of favorite places. Check out the blog for ideas.
  • Plan a trip with a friend, a day trip or a weekend, get excited about doing something new with a new friend and before you know it you will be excited and chatting about the trip instead of talking about what you are missing at home.
  • Post in the cluster Facebook group that you are off on Saturday or Sunday and that you are looking for a buddy to hang out with! Don’t wait for someone else to plan it, take the initiative!
  • Go to your cluster meeting. It’s not just a requirement of the program, it’s a beneficial part of your experience. Cluster meetings are a great way to meet new friends and get a hug and support!
  • Not everything has to change.  If you loved jogging at home, do it here. There are some habits you love that you can keep. Played soccer at home? Love basketball or singing or digital photography? Ask me, I can help you find activities within the community to join!
  • Create a routine.  Having a routine will help you feel at home and settle into life here. It’s tempting to sleep in on the weekends, but you’ll miss out on fun! It’s okay some times, but remember, you only have 52 weekends here! Make the most out of them!
  • Get enough sleep! Go to bed at a reasonable time. Planning a quiet activity for the hour or so before bed can help you establish and maintain good sleep habits.
  • Get involved in activities that will help you meet Americans! Other than classes, consider finding a church with a young adult group, volunteer, join an interest group! Building friendships is important and you will have a richer cultural exchange as a result!
  • Do not stay home.  Get out and about, go to the gym, the park, a coffee shop, a movie, staying home alone will not help homesickness.
  • Tell your me that you are feeling homesick. I can help you! It may be a first for you, but it isn’t for me. I can help connect you with another au pair who was also homesick. There’s nothing better than talking to someone who has been in your shoes.
  • Start an American Dream album on Facebook, write your memories in a private blog, save a few special reminders – ticket stubs, postcards, small souvenirs, etc. from your year.  It will give you something to work on when you have quiet time alone and as your year progresses you will be able to see what an amazing experience you are having.  You’ll have a wonderful keepsake to have of you year (or two).
  • Most importantly, talk to someone, if you feel sad or homesick, talk to your host family, call me, or a friend.  Being part of a cluster enables us to help and support each other.
  • If you aren’t homesick, reach out to others who you think might be. Be a friend. We were all new once. That new girl nearby would love for you to pick her up and go to a movie or for coffee or ice cream. Dare to be bold. Dare to be fearless!
  • Keep the circle wide open for everyone to join in. Building friendships with people outside of your culture will richly reward your year here and your life in general. It’s a wonderful thing to watch au pairs maintain their cross cultural friendships after they go home.

A little inspiration from a former au pair… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3IBmRWGnwA

American Experiences – Kindness Rocks and Community Service

This past weekend we gathered to have a classic American 50’s style diner experience! While we enjoyed the unique decor and the heavy presence of Elvis, we ordered sundaes and milkshakes and got down to creating art for our community service project! Each year we dedicate some of our time to doing something that benefits the local community.

New to us this year is the Kindness Rock movement! What is the Kindness Rocks Project? Goal #1: Inspire others through randomly placed rocks along the way. Goal #2: Recruit every person who stumbles upon it to join in the pursuit of inspiring others through random acts of kindness. Rocks bring happiness, meaning, comfort, etc to their recipients. Mostly, they bring a sense that they matter, they they are loved. By participating in this project, the au pairs are expressing their creative side, joining in an activity that fosters happiness, lending support, and brings people outside and connecting.

Our au pairs created special country flag rocks along with artistic, supportive and happy rocks. Each au pair left the gathering with finished rocks to hide somewhere in their specific community. As we were preparing to depart from Bert’s Diner, we spotted a Kindness Rock sitting outside. We picked it up, napped a picture and placed it back for someone else to find and share a smile! Our au pairs know all too well how important a random kindness can be, how much a smile can change a day. #fearlessglobalcitizen

This year, we are continuing to support Sending Smiles. Sending Smiles is a local 501C3 charity started by local sisters and their cousins! Their mission is to send messages of hope to sick children and their families. We want to help those who are battling cancer, sickness, or other conditions to SMILE by sending them crazy fun postcards!! To date they have sent over 25,000 postcards to children and families across the United States. You can check out the amazing work Sending Smiles does by visiting their Facebook page – https://www.facebook.com/SistersSendingSmiles/

Back to School!!

Kids in our cluster are returning to school. This means changes to the au pair schedule and possibly to the duties.  It is very important to communicate these changes to avoid problems.

I suggest you discuss the following (if applicable):

  • Au pair’s work schedule.
  • The children’s school and activity schedules.
  • Where the children get dropped off and picked up and who will be doing this.
  • What to do if a child is staying home sick, late to school, does not get off the bus (if they are supposed to).
  • How to tell if school has been canceled or delayed for bad weather
  • Add the au pair to your list of people allowed to pick up the kids from school (remind her that she will be asked to show a photo id).
  • What to pack for lunch (don’t forget the cold packs)
  • The routine after school (do they have free time before starting homework, what to give for snack, any chores, where do they put their backpacks & lunchboxes).
  • How to communicate about what’s going on at school.
  • Specific instructions for driving on and off school grounds, where to park, direction of travel. Do you get out or does staff open the doors, etc.
  • Driving around school buses.  How a school bus in traffic is to be handled. What to do when the flashers come on, etc.

Here are some Printable Fill-in-the-Blank School Notes for parents. You may print these out and use them for times when the kids are absent, late, have early dismissal or you need to give permission for something.

If the au pair will be the one going through the children’s back pack and helping with homework, I suggest you designate an area for putting things that need to be read and/or signed by parents.

School Buses – Remember to discuss school bus safety and the rules about driving when school buses are near. Stopping when the lights flash and the stop sign comes out unless the road is divided, etc.

Reminder: It is illegal in the State of Maryland for a child under the age of 8 to be left alone in the home or car.  Please make sure that your drop off routine does not include leaving children under 8 at home or in the car while dropping off another child.  Even if a host parent gives permission to do this, it is not allowed, because it is against the law.

Photo by Jens Rost

Photo by Jens Rost

 

Hints for Success – Overcoming Homesickness

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree, when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. They will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

Smithsonian Folklife Festival

The Annual Smithsonian Folklife Festival will take place June 29-July 4 and July 6-9. 

The Annual Smithsonian Folklife Festival is an international exhibition of living cultural heritage. This year will be the 50th anniversary of this popular event. Attracting more than one million visitors yearly, the two-week long celebration is the largest annual cultural event in the United States.

The Festival is held outdoors on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., between 7th and 12th Streets and inside the Arts & Industries Building. There is no admission charge. Visitors should dress for hot and humid weather. Parking around the Mall is extremely limited, so visitors are advised to use public transportation. Smithsonian is the closest Metro station to the Festival site. L’Enfant Plaza, National Archives, and Federal Center stations are within a half-mile. For general Smithsonian visitor information, http://www.si.edu/Visit or call 202.633.1000 (voice).

Festival hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., with special events taking place most evenings beginning at 5:30 or 7 p.m. View the schedule here.

I highly recommend that you visit their website to plan your visit http://www.festival.si.edu/

Celebrating the 4th of July!

Known  as the Fourth of July and Independence Day, July 4th has been a federal holiday in the United States since 1941, but the tradition of Independence Day celebrations goes back to the 18th century and the American Revolution (1775-83). In June 1776, representatives of the 13 colonies then fighting in the revolutionary struggle weighed a resolution that would declare their independence from Great Britain. On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of independence, and two days later its delegates adopted the Declaration of Independence, a historic document drafted by Thomas Jefferson. From 1776 until the present day, July 4th has been celebrated as the birth of American independence, with typical festivities ranging from fireworks, parades and concerts to more casual family gatherings and barbecues.

Washington, DC is a spectacular place to celebrate July 4th! The National Mall is the center of all of the Independence Day Celebrations in DC. There are events all day, beginning with a parade along Constitution Avenue and ending with a fireworks display over the Washington Monument.

Sara, a host mom in Maryland, has shared some links with information to help au pairs plan for the upcoming holiday.

Great list of local activities:
http://dc.about.com/od/specialevents/a/4thofJuly.htm

Getting to the National Mall & security info:
http://dc.about.com/od/4thofjuly/a/GettingtoMall.htm

The Capitol Fourth concert has a dress rehearsal on July 3, that while secure and crowded, is easier to attend than the concert on the 4th, as with July 4th, the gates open at 3:00:
http://thedistrict.com/sightseeing/events/a-capitol-fourth-4th-of-july/

A blog post that may be of interest:

http://blogs.rollcall.com/after-dark/washingtons-independence-day-patriotismpalooza/

Preventing Dehydration in Hot Weather

Dehydration means that the body lacks the necessary amount of fluid. Infants and small children are more likely to become dehydrated than older children or adults, because they can lose relatively more fluid quickly.

Here are some steps to take to make sure children remain hydrated in the summer months:

  • Encourage your child to drink plenty of water. On hot days, children should drink significantly more water than usual, as they are losing more due to the heat.
  • Do not wait until your child is thirsty to give him water. By the time they feel thirsty, they are already becoming dehydrated.
  • If your child is resistant to drinking enough water, have other liquids on hand for your child to drink throughout the day.
  • Be alert to changes in behavior. A child may act confused or more irritable when they are becoming dehydrated/overheated. Get them into cooler temperatures and drinking more fluids.
  • Dress your child in lightweight clothing in the summer months, particularly if she’ll be playing outdoors in warm weather. You may also consider clothes that are well ventilated as they do not trap heat close to the body.
  • When there are heat and/or air quality advisories because the weather is dangerously hot, you should avoid taking the children outdoors. Check with your host parents for further guidance on this topic.

Remember to follow these tips for yourself too, so you stay well hydrated.

Photo: Darwin Bell (Flickr)

Holiday & Vacation Reminders

“Rest and be thankful.” – William Wordsworth

Holidays and vacations are a great opportunity to rest, recharge and explore the U.S.

Memorial Day Weekend is the unofficial start of summer travel season. Here are some reminders about program rules regarding holidays and vacations.

Holidays

  • Host families are not required to give au pairs any specific holidays.
  • Each host family will make different arrangements on holidays, some au pairs will be off and others will be required to work.
  • Au pairs should not make plans for holidays without checking with your host family first.

Vacations

  • Au pairs earns 2 weeks of paid vacation during the course of her year.
  • Vacation time should be mutually agreed upon.
  • All vacation should be preplanned (at least 4 weeks in advance.)
  • All au pair’s friends and/or family visits/vacations should be pre-approved prior to purchasing tickets.
  • If an au pair travels with her host family, it should be discussed in advance whether this is the au pair’s vacation or if she is working.
  • If an au pair travels with the host family to work, the host family is required to pay for her transportation, lodging and meals.

Important: If an au pair is traveling outside of the U.S., she must have her DS2019 signed (travel validation) PRIOR to her departure from the US. More information about this may be found here on the Au Pair in America website.

Photo: torbakhopper (Flickr)

Helping Young Children Learn Language

Being an au pair is an important role in a child’s life. When you are caring for a young child up to 45 hours per week, there are lots of opportunities to help them learn language. Many host parents are eager for their children to be exposed to foreign language. If this is true of your host parents, you can try the suggestions below, in both English and your native language.

Below are a few tips to start with, for more ideas, check out Ready at Five.

  • Read – Read to them daily, point out pictures and ask questions. Even if they can’t answer the questions, this is still modeling conversation.
  • Talk – Point out objects around them, names of their body parts, explain what you are doing and places you are going. Long before babies can speak, they benefit greatly from being spoken to.
  • Sing – You can sing childhood classics or make up your own silly songs. If you are looking for song ideas, HERE is a great website with lists of songs, lyrics and links to YouTube videos* of the songs.  Children’s music is also available at the public library and even on iTunes.
  • Words – As children move from toddlers to preschoolers begin to point out written language.
  • Writing – Toddlers and preschoolers can begin to learn pre-writing skills by drawing with crayons or doing finger paints.

*The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for babies under 18 months of age. For children 18 months to 5 years they recommend no more than 1 hour of high quality content. You can play the songs on youtube for the audio and not necessarily show the screen to the child.

Photo: Quinn Dombrowski (Flickr)

Handling Expenses

Host parents often ask for suggestions on how best to handle common expenses that occur as au pairs are caring for the children.

Miscellaneous Expenses

There are different ways to handle the little day to day expenses that come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for these types of expenses. Others give their au pair a prepaid debit card for this purpose. Below are some suggestions for avoiding problems with expenses.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas and Fare Cards 

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs: to and from classes, cluster meetings and when driving the kids.

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

Photo: Andrea Travillian