Category Archives: Cultural Exchange and Adjustment

Homesickness

Believe in Your Dreams:

It is completely normal to feel homesick sometimes when we are far from home.  Homesickness comes from feeling disconnected from people, places and routines.  It is an emotion that passes with time.  Remember: It.is.normal.

Here are some things to do if you are feeling a little blue:

  • Be a tourist, get to know where you live, visit the local sights and explore just as you would if on vacation.  Start a list of favorite places. Check out the blog for ideas.
  • Plan a trip with a friend, a day trip or a weekend, get excited about doing something new with a new friend and before you know it you will be excited and chatting about the trip instead of talking about what you are missing at home.
  • Post in the cluster Facebook group that you are off on Saturday or Sunday and that you are looking for a buddy to hang out with! Don’t wait for someone else to plan it, take the initiative!
  • Go to your cluster meeting. It’s not just a requirement of the program, it’s a beneficial part of your experience. Cluster meetings are a great way to meet new friends and get a hug and support!
  • Not everything has to change.  If you loved jogging at home, do it here. There are some habits you love that you can keep. Played soccer at home? Love basketball or singing or digital photography? Ask me, I can help you find activities within the community to join!
  • Create a routine.  Having a routine will help you feel at home and settle into life here. It’s tempting to sleep in on the weekends, but you’ll miss out on fun! It’s okay some times, but remember, you only have 52 weekends here! Make the most out of them!
  • Get enough sleep! Go to bed at a reasonable time. Planning a quiet activity for the hour or so before bed can help you establish and maintain good sleep habits.
  • Get involved in activities that will help you meet Americans! Other than classes, consider finding a church with a young adult group, volunteer, join an interest group! Building friendships is important and you will have a richer cultural exchange as a result!
  • Do not stay home.  Get out and about, go to the gym, the park, a coffee shop, a movie, staying home alone will not help homesickness.
  • Tell your me that you are feeling homesick. I can help you! It may be a first for you, but it isn’t for me. I can help connect you with another au pair who was also homesick. There’s nothing better than talking to someone who has been in your shoes.
  • Start an American Dream album on Facebook, write your memories in a private blog, save a few special reminders – ticket stubs, postcards, small souvenirs, etc. from your year.  It will give you something to work on when you have quiet time alone and as your year progresses you will be able to see what an amazing experience you are having.  You’ll have a wonderful keepsake to have of you year (or two).
  • Most importantly, talk to someone, if you feel sad or homesick, talk to your host family, call me, or a friend.  Being part of a cluster enables us to help and support each other.
  • If you aren’t homesick, reach out to others who you think might be. Be a friend. We were all new once. That new girl nearby would love for you to pick her up and go to a movie or for coffee or ice cream. Dare to be bold. Dare to be fearless!
  • Keep the circle wide open for everyone to join in. Building friendships with people outside of your culture will richly reward your year here and your life in general. It’s a wonderful thing to watch au pairs maintain their cross cultural friendships after they go home.

A little inspiration from a former au pair… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3IBmRWGnwA

Hints for Success – Overcoming Homesickness

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree, when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. They will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

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