Today I did what I have done many times before – I said goodbye to yet another extraordinary young woman. She had finished her time here as an au pair and she was heading home. Home to familiar faces and lots of new experiences. We sat having coffee for one last time, reflecting on her experiences in the US and discussed the new opportunities she would be embarking on. Some exciting, some a bit scary, one thing was clear…she was forever changed during her time here in the US. She had traveled, studied, grown in her independence, made a bunch of amazing friends from all over the world and learned a lot about herself in the process. She has made a close connection with two host families, a life long kind of connection.  She made a connection with me.

Tonight as I watched an amazing sunset, I reflected on what my role is in this process for the au pair.  Many have said I am like a second mom to them, others consider me a friend, some have more of a distant, casual relationship. I am good with any one of these.  I have the privilege of helping them in a small portion of their journey. I can support and encourage and educate them. I can provide them with opportunities to explore the US and it’s customs, foods, cultures. We can share idioms and find common ground. I personally love to watch these amazing young women transform literally before my eyes. They do not leave the same. They all grow and change and experience.

I’ve sat with young women who are suffering from homesickness, worry for a loved one, or are missing a special family event. I’ve shared Christmas with an au pair, I’ve tried an amazing collection of foods from other countries. I’ve watched them experience their first Halloween, their first snow (some of them), I have helped plan education and travel, offered countless hugs, sat with sick ones, held them as they cry in sadness. I have redirected, cheered, and encouraged them. I have a saying with the au pairs, Beautiful girl, you can do hard things!

I have grown and changed too. With each new au pair comes a new experience, new adventures, new cultures to learn about. I am forever changed…

Saying goodbye isn’t really goodbye. I am connected still to many of them, though we are thousands of miles apart. We have email, social media, skype, etc. I see posts and catch glimpses of their lives. For many, I am still cheering, still encouraging, still connected.

To the young woman who left today….

Beautiful girl, you can do hard things….I know today is full of conflicting emotions. You are a bit sad to leave, maybe wishing for more time, more opportunities. Excited to go home and be with your family, snuggle that new nephew, move into a flat with your best friend and follow your dreams.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life experience. It is an honor.