Monthly Archives: June 2017

Welcoming Your New Au Pair.

Welcoming Your Au Pair

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After you match with your new au pair and arrange her travel from orientation to your community, it’s very important to keep in touch with her prior to her arrival. Please keep in mind that you have opened your home to someone else’s daughter. There are many things you can do that will help her to feel welcome in your home. An email to check in every so often is reassuring and builds the bonds you started to form when you offered her a home for a year. Sending photos of the children or pictures they have drawn is also a welcome form of connection.

Once your au pair arrives at orientation, please call her to welcome her. It makes the au pair feel much more comfortable to hear from you while she is at orientation. The number at the hotel is 203-358-8400. The best time to call is between 7 and 7:30 AM. You can leave a message for her to call you collect if you can’t reach her directly. An alternative is to call her the night before she leaves home.

Some families send flowers or small packages with personalized stationery or homemade cookies. Ask your counselor for other suggestions if you want to send something, but keep in mind that your au pair will have to transport whatever it is to your house. Faxes can be received by the hotel and are also a nice way to say hello.

Before she travels to your home, prepare a welcome sign made by the children. You can display it at home or use it at the airport or train station. Make sure her room is clean and ready for her. Mark the au pair’s birthday on the family calendar.

When she arrives at your home, she will be tired, excited and probably anxious. Keep in mind the fatigue that being in a new culture causes, particularly if your au pair is not a native English speaker. The au pair needs time to recover from jet lag.

It’s important to give her a few days to unpack, rest and become acclimated to the host family’s home, family and neighborhood before expecting her to assume full child care responsibilities. She should be allowed to find ways to make her space her own; mounting a bulletin board on the wall is one easy way to do this.

According to Department of State regulations, au pairs are not allowed to assume sole responsibility for the children until after she has been in the home three days. Giving her the opportunity to bond with the children one at a time is helpful in building relationships. Those first few days can be used to complete the child care questionnaire for each of your children, to conduct a tour of the neighborhood, to go to the grocery store to determine her food preferences and for her to see the variety of foods available in the US, and to share information about the house and her chores. Many families also use this time to have the au pair drive for the first time.

The Community Counselor will call and/or visit within the first forty-eight hours after the au pair’s arrival.

Some other adjustment issues to keep in mind:

  • The au pair may be confused by directions with so many new things to learn, especially as she works to adapt to a new language and surroundings.
  • She may be homesick, possibly suffering from stomach indigestion as she tries to adapt to new foods, diet and a different time zone.
  • Children may be both excited and apprehensive about the au pair’s arrival, and their behavior patterns may be different from how they generally behave. With patience they will weather the transition.
  • Host parents may need to adapt to sharing living space with a young adult.

Putting time and effort into a positive welcome experience and being prepared for what typically happens in the first few days will give your match a strong foundation to build on.

Saying Goodbye to your Au Pair.

How to Say Goodbye

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TRANSITIONING TO A NEW AU PAIR

As your au pair’s departure date approaches, her departure will affect you and her, as well as the children. There may be many different reactions to the au pair’s departure. You may see (or experience) tears, hostility or withdrawal. Remember that although it is important to talk about feelings, it may be difficult for young children to express feelings of loss, disappointment or betrayal. Therefore, children may act out their feelings instead (this can also be useful and appropriate). Any member of the household may feel angry, abandoned, sad or depressed. One common response to these feelings is to start to distance oneself. This helps some people to say good-bye, but may be confusing to other parties involved.

Here are some things to think about which might help everyone in your household prepare for your au pair’s departure:

  • Young children perceive time differently than adults. Therefore, your preparation for the departure should not begin too far in advance.
  • As the departure date nears, please start to talk with your children about her departure. When possible, it is helpful to link the departure date to some other event (when school is over, soon after vacation, etc.).
  • It would also be desirable for your au pair herself to mention to the children that she will be leaving. Encourage her to do so.
  • If you have not already discussed world geography with your child, this would be a good time to do so. Point out on a globe where you live and where your au pair is going. Discuss the distance and the travel time involved. Be clear that the au pair is going home to her family.
  • Discuss the possibility of staying in touch with letters, e-mail, or even pictures if your child does not write. Be sure you have the au pair’s address, and make plans to write.
  • It is often helpful (and fun) to create a small photo album for your children to look at. After your au pair leaves this can hold important memories for them.
  • If you are having another au pair arrive, discuss the arrival plans with your child. Be sensitive to the possibility that your current au pair might feel badly about being “replaced” in your children’s hearts.
  • Make sure there is an opportunity to say good-bye. Make it clear when it will be the last time your children will be seeing the au pair.
  • If a change in routine is anticipated, try to put it in place before the new au pair arrives if possible.
  • A departing au pair might want to leave a welcoming note to the next au pair along with any useful tips or information that she knows would be helpful. This could help her to feel valued by you.

As concerned parents, we often might want to protect our children from life’s bumps and bruises. However, learning to deal with loss is an important life lesson that can be understood by even young children. It is important to know that someone can care about you and still leave. With support from the family and the au pair, children can feel safe and secure while accepting the au pair’s departure. Children are often more resilient than we give them credit for, and they are also often a reflection of their parents’ feelings.

Preventing Dehydration in Hot Weather

Dehydration means that the body lacks the necessary amount of fluid. Infants and small children are more likely to become dehydrated than older children or adults, because they can lose relatively more fluid quickly.

Here are some steps to take to make sure children remain hydrated in the summer months:

  • Encourage your child to drink plenty of water. On hot days, children should drink significantly more water than usual, as they are losing more due to the heat.
  • Do not wait until your child is thirsty to give him water. By the time they feel thirsty, they are already becoming dehydrated.
  • If your child is resistant to drinking enough water, have other liquids on hand for your child to drink throughout the day.
  • Be alert to changes in behavior. A child may act confused or more irritable when they are becoming dehydrated/overheated. Get them into cooler temperatures and drinking more fluids.
  • Dress your child in lightweight clothing in the summer months, particularly if she’ll be playing outdoors in warm weather. You may also consider clothes that are well ventilated as they do not trap heat close to the body.
  • When there are heat and/or air quality advisories because the weather is dangerously hot, you should avoid taking the children outdoors. Check with your host parents for further guidance on this topic.

Remember to follow these tips for yourself too, so you stay well hydrated.

Photo: Darwin Bell (Flickr)