Host Family General Info

123’s for Host Families

Helpful Links for Host Parents

Steps and FYIs for Hosting Success

The main steps for success in hosting an au pair focus on 1) your investment in reading the program material provided in your new host family mailings 2) your selection process 3) how you set up your personal and professional relationship with your au pair, and 4) the first month’s adjustment period.

Here are some pointers:

Please read your host family documents prior to your au pair’s arrival so you are prepared and have accurate expectations of what an au pair is and how the year will go.
Two really helpful resources are listed in the right column: Guidelines for a Successful Year and the Selection Process. Both will walk you through everything you will need to prepare yourself prior to your au pairs arrival. They will be strong resources as you move through your year.
It is vital to educate yourself! Your knowledge and confidence is what empowers your contribution in co-creating a positive experience!

Be savvy in your selection process-

Take a moment to discuss with your family the types of qualities that fit best with your family dynamic. What kinds of personalities do you and your children feel the most comfortable around? Do your children do best with regular structure or spontaneous flexibility? Outdoorsy or indoorsy? Warm and fuzzy or firm and consistent? Do you live a more alternative country style or a mainstream urban style? Do you need a driver right away? What kinds of driving will this entail?

When you interview, screen for these personalities in the rapport you establish over skype. Ask questions like “What kinds of roads do you have experience driving on?” “What do you typically do on a Saturday night, Sunday afternoon, Tuesday night? ” This will give you a sense if she will be happy in your local environment. Are you far away from urban activities, close to hiking and biking, near the beach, rural? Will she drive on narrow one way mountainous roads in a big vehicle, or the 101 freeway, or both? Keep in mind the girls may have excellent driving ability but there is a learning curve for anyone to get comfortable in our CA driving environment.

A big part of the program is the cultural exchange that happens within your relationship with your au pair. Some families prefer specific languages spoken with the children, some have no preference, some families have a great experience with a specific nationality and will only choose au pairs from that country. It’s really up to you. Do you want to learn something completely new about a different part of the world? Your au pair can provide this new experience. Do you prefer to host an au pair with a culture you’re familiar with?

Keep in touch with your au pair prior to her arrival-

Many families offer a welcome gift to their au pair in the form of a NYC tour on the Wednesday night of their orientation. This is optional. If you are interested in doing this, email: orientation@aifs.com to make arrangements.

Host Families arrange their Au Pair’s transportation/flight from CT to your home.

Please book this flight as soon as your au pair confirms her visa is in hand.
Flights must be 6pm or later from one of the NY area airports (JFK, Newark or LaGuardia) on the Thursday night after her arrival. APIA will take her to the airport.
You will need her full name on her passport and her birthdate to book this reservation.
Once it is set up, please send her itinerary to orientation@aifs.com

Welcoming your Au Pair

It’s best practice to greet your au pair at the airport. Au Pairs coming to CA have the longest day and the latest arrival. Have your children make welcome signs for you to use at the baggage claim. The girl’s jetlag will be a bit wacky for the first weekend. It is imperative that she is not the only care provider alone with the children for the first three days. The first weekend is for everyone to settle in and get to know each other, unpack, get trained on the schedule and routine that will be expected of her. Her first day of work is that Monday. Her first stipend is due at the end of her first full working week in CA.

Getting Settled

The first month is the most difficult for the girls’ adjustment. Her entire world has changed. Nothing is familiar, including the language. Usually in 30 days she’s back to her usual self, her personality will again gleam through and she will be much more grounded. The girls commonly experience culture shock, homesickness, loneliness, overwhelm.

How to help: Do not take it personally! If she needs to close the door to her room don’t be offended. It is what she needs to take a break and to create her new comfort zone. If she is feeling homesick, check to make sure she is skyping her friends and family. Does she have food items she likes or better is familar with. Encourage her to post to her facebook cluster group. There are 30 other au pairs here who understand exactly how she feelsand have found ways of their won to get through it. Take some time to do some tourist things with her, such as visiting San Francisco, going to the beach, or taking a wine trip (of course if she’s 21).

Remember this is a Cultural Exchange Program:

Most au pairs sign up to be an au pair because they love all things American. They are eager to improve their English and learn how a typical American family lives. They love our music, pop culture, movies, fashion, the cultural melting pot, and tourist sites all appeal to them.

Au Pairs are usually disappointed if they do not feel included in your family dynamic. They won’t always accept an invitation once they establish a personal life outside of the home, however they want to feel they are welcome and included, and have an opportunity to get to know their host parents on a personal level. If you are only looking for someone to work for you, this isn’t the right program. Tips: invite your au pair to family meals, if you don’t have family meals makes sure she is well cared for with meals. Invite her to family get-togethers, or family conversations in the living room, an episode of madmen or a glass of wine on the porch (again, 21).

Things of special importance:

American Holidays:

Thanksgiving: although this may be the best time to offer your au pair a week of paid vacation, it isn’t ideal for the au pair. She will feel shut out from experiencing this uniquely American holiday with the people she is most familiar with. Most au pairs look forward to experiencing Thanksgiving with their family.

Vacations: It is perfectly appropriate to bring your au pair along on a family trip as it is appropriate to schedule her to work while on your trip. Her travel would be your expense. Scheduling gets tricky though- please do not schedule her immediately after arriving from a long travel day, this is a safety issue. She is still limited to 10 max hrs per day, 45 max hrs per week while on vacation. It is really hard to recognize work time versus off time while vacationing. The BEST rule of thumb is: if she can leave the children behind (to get a coffee, pedicure, see a show) she’s off duty. If the kids are napping and she is the only grown up around, she is working.

Please do not assume taking her on your family vacation will be her vacation. All au pairs prefer to have autonomy in planning their own trip based on the things they always dreamt of doing once in America. This may not necessary be what your vacation entails. The girls struggle between not wanting to appear ungrateful and wanting to fulfill their dreams while in America.

First Month Logistics:

The girls all have social security cards waiting for them at the local SS office (no longer a 3 week wait time). She will need her SSN card in order to apply for a driver’s license.
Before she sits in a driver’s seat, you au pair must be covered by your auto insurance. Please contact your insurance provider to confirm what she will need (international license, country of origin license, CA license only) to be put on your policy. HF are responsible for covering her auto insurance. Of course, please make time to observe her driving skill first before permitting her to use your car for any reason.
If you feel her driving needs improvement please contact me for options: liligoodmanfreitas@aupairinamerica.com, ebell@aupairinamerica.com
Set up her appointments at the DMV. There are links to the right for the driver’s manual. She may be able to take her written test in her native language. Arrange her behind the wheel test in the NOVATO DMV only, trust me on this one!
Within 2 weeks of her arrival, I will visit the home to meet with everyone and check in on how things are beginning to come along. During this visit I can assist with any concerns around your au pair’s adjustment process, scheduling guidelines, paid vacation policy, weekend policy etc. We will review the State Department Guidelines and are all required to sign an agreement form reflecting these requirements (in your host family documents).
During this visit I will also support your au pair with information regarding her education requirement. Usually the girls have plenty of time to complete their education. We have a wealth of options in our area through the local community colleges. I often encourage taking the first month to settle in and focus on the new job prior before rushing into school. Sometimes based on an au pair’s arrival date- she may need to get registered right away in order to get the classes she wants. This is usually rare- since our schools are in session practically year round.