Au Pairs – Imagine for a moment that you went to the hospital and you were in the care of doctors and nurses.  How would you feel if those doctors and nurses who were there to care for you were more interested in texting or using their personal cellphone than caring for you?  How would that make you feel, about yourself and about them?  Would you think that you were getting the treatment you deserved?  Would you feel like paying the bill after your stay?

Life as an au pair is a fine balance between being a childcare provider and a family member. You live with your host family and participate with them as a member of the family, but you also have clear responsibilities as a childcare provider. Being a childcare provider is truly one of the most important jobs I can think of, because you are helping to shape our next generation.  What message are you sending them when you would rather interact with a cellphone than with them? How will they feel about themselves and about you? Children feel as though everything is about them. They will see this as a rejection of them and they will be more likely to act out.

It also poses a safety concern when you are not paying enough attention to the children in your care.  Accidents happen, but when an adult care giver is close by and appropriately supervising the chances of a major injury dramatically reduce.

During work hours, the following would not be considered acceptable:
– Texting;
– Talking to friends on the phone;
– Chatting with friends online;
– Using WhatsApp; Snapchat, Tiktok, Twitter, Pinterest;
– Updating your status on Facebook, posting on Instagram or any other social media;
– Watching videos on YouTube, Vimeo etc;
– Playing any online games etc.

Think about this — even if you work 45 hours a week, that leaves you 123 hours per week for all of that other stuff, or about 70 hours (if you are getting the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night.)

Host Parents – You need to be clear about what you consider acceptable during work hours to avoid misunderstandings.  Also, please understand that you are dealing with a new generation of people who are very accustomed to being plugged in at all times.  Their intention is not to be rude, they don’t necessarily realize how their actions will be perceived.  Please use this information as an opportunity to begin a dialogue on the issue.

Almost everyone experiences culture shock when they come to a completely new environment. Everything is different: the language, the food, and the people.

When everything feels so unfamiliar, it is natural to long for the security of home. However, you don’t want to let that feeling of longing for home, make you too sad or prevent you from finding happiness in your new home.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home often makes homesickness worse. Try texting instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or go to movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and nearly all of them stay and have a successful year (some stay for two years). So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

The backpack is very important to review every day. This is one of the links between school and home for the student. Backpacks quickly become disorganized and notices missed if you do not empty it every day! Here is what we suggest you do every day:

• After the student arrives home, empty the backpack on a table.
• Find the homework. Set it out in the homework area with all the supplies needed to complete the homework.
• Put the lunch box in the kitchen. Empty it, discard the garbage, and see if the child actually ate the lunch that was packed. Wipe out the lunch box. Let the parents know what was not eaten!
• Find all notices sent home with the child. Find anything that needs to be filled out by the parents. If it is your responsibility to keep track of activities, put them on the calendar now. If not, make sure the parents see them.
• Make sure permission slips, fundraisers, book orders, photo notices and anything else that must be signed is done on time. Make sure these items get back in the backpack and the child turns them in on time. If the signed form and money is in the back pack at the end of the day, the child forgot to give it to the teacher. Remind the child, tell the parent!!
• All completed homework must be put in the homework folder in the backpack as soon as the homework is completed. Make sure there is a sturdy folder to put the homework in; the child knows where it is when he or she arrives at school. The homework will stay neater this way!!
• In the morning, recheck for homework. Is it in the folder? Are all permission slips and notices requiring money in the folder in the backpack?
• Make lunch and put the lunch box in the backpack. If the lunch box is in the backpack there is less chance it will be left on the bus!!
• Does the child need to bring anything else to school that day? Maybe he or she needs gym clothes, or something for show and tell. Put it in the backpack!
• At the end of the week, make sure all work sent home is placed out for the parents to see. Any dirty gym clothes are taken out of the backpack and put in the laundry. The back pack and the lunch box should be wiped out and kept clean!!

The Workman’s Holiday ~ Dedicated in honor of the worker, Labor Day is also known as the “workingman’s holiday”. The holiday is dedicated to all workers in the United States in respect and appreciation for the work they do in or outside of the home, union or non-union, big companies and small companies and au pairs too. As long as you work somewhere at something, this holiday is for you! It is a day to celebrate your contribution to American working life and the work you do.

The First Labor Day ~ The first Labor Day was celebrated in New York City on September 5, 1882 and was started by the Central Labor Union in New York City. In 1884, it was moved to the first Monday in September where it is celebrated today. Labor Day quickly became popular and one state after another voted it as a holiday. On June 28, 1894, the U.S. congress voted it a national holiday.

The End of Summer ~ Labor Day is also viewed as the official end of summer. While the Fall Equinox is still a couple of weeks away, kids go back to school and summer vacations are over. This day is celebrated with a long weekend off from work and union sponsored parades. Many people celebrate this weekend with one last picnic. It is also the date that many people close up the swimming pool, and put away the boats.

Was it McGuire or Maguire? Either Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire is the Creator of Labor Day. Peter J. McGuire, was an active labor organizer. He was also general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a co-founder of the American Federation of Labor. He was believed to be the first to suggest a day be dedicated to American workers and their accomplishments. Matthew Maguire however, was secretary of the Central Labor Union in New York in 1882 and many believed that he proposed the holiday in 1882.

So What do Americans eat on Labor Day? Picnics and barbecues are popular ways  to celebrate Labor Day.  Old standards are hamburgers, corn dogs, coleslaw, potato salad  corn on the cob, baked beans and sliced tomatoes. Finish up with sliced watermelon, apple or blueberry  pie and freshly churned ice cream.  Sound good?  Want to try a recipe?

http://www.whats4eats.com/salads/potato-salad-recipe

http://www.whats4eats.com/salads/sweet-coleslaw-recipe

http://www.whats4eats.com/desserts/blueberry-pie-recipe

What can you do with the kids on Labor Day?  Schools are usually closed on labor day so the children are home for the day.  Generally Americans love long weekends and it is an extra special time for families to be together.  Join in and be part of the family activities.  Enjoy your first Labor Day Weekend in the United States.  If you recently arrived this is a great weekend to bond with the kids and get to know them.  Go for a bike ride, play in the back yard, go to the park or enjoy the beach and the pool before the fall weather arrives.  For indoor quiet activities try these:

Click here for Labor Day coloring pages: 

http://www.apples4theteacher.com/coloring-pages/labor-day/

Click here for Labor Day short stories for children:

http://www.apples4theteacher.com/holidays/labor-day/short-stories/

With schools starting soon and many new au pairs who have recently arrived, we wanted to remind everyone about what to do in different situations with school buses. If you have questions, please ask us or your host parents.

The rules regarding stopping for school buses are:

• It is against the law to pass a stopped school bus while its lights are flashing and its’ stop arm is extended.
• On undivided roadways, with no physical barrier or median, vehicles must stop on both sides of the roadway.
• Yellow flashing lights indicate that the bus is preparing to load or unload children. Motorists should slow down and prepare to stop their vehicles.
• Red flashing lights and extended stop arms indicate that the bus has stopped, and children are getting on or off. Motorists approaching from either direction must wait until the red lights stop flashing before proceeding.

Police, who observe a motorist failing to stop and remained stopped for a school bus, can issue the violator a citation. Drivers failing to stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk and drivers failing to exercise due caution when encountering children can be issued a citation.

Kids in our cluster will be returning to school soon. This will mean changes to the au pair schedule and possibly to the duties.  It is very important to communicate these changes to avoid problems.

I suggest you discuss the following (if applicable):

• Au pair’s work schedule
• The children’s school and activity schedules
• Where the children get dropped off and picked up and who will be doing this
• What to do if a child is staying home sick, late to school, does not get off the bus (if they are supposed to)
• How to tell if school has been cancelled or delayed for bad weather
• Add the au pair to your list of people allowed to pick up the kids from school
• What to pack for lunch
• The routine after school (do they have free time before starting homework, what to give for snack, any chores, where do they put their backpacks & lunchboxes)
• How to communicate about what’s going on at school. (Kids in Care Log Books are available upon request from APIA)

Here are some Printable Fill-in-the-Blank School Notes for parents. You may print these out and use them for times when the kids are absent, late, have early dismissal or you need to give permission for something.

If the au pair will be the one going through the children’s back pack and helping with homework, I suggest you designate an area for putting things that need to be read and/or signed by parents.

Reminder: It is illegal to leave a child alone in the car. Please make sure that your drop off routine does not include leaving children at home or in the car while dropping off another child.  Even if a host parent gives permission to do this, it is not allowed, because it is against the law.

Au pairs should complete a minimum of  6 credits, 72 hours of classroom time, 7.2 CEUs or a combination of the above to meet the education requirements. Classes must be taken at an accredited post secondary institution.

Host family will pay $500 education allowance plus parking pass, metro transportation costs and/or gas to and from school. An Au Pair should budget approximately $200 of their personal funds to complete the J-1 visa education requirement.

Please click in EDUCATION on this blog to check our Education Options for accredited schools in our cluster area. If you want to take a class at a school not listed here on my blog, please check with me first to make sure it is accredited. Otherwise, it would not count toward your education requirements.

An Au Pair MUST complete the education requirement at least 30 days before the end of her year to be eligible for a second year extension and/or to receive an APIA completion certificate.

An au pair is required to submit a copy of the class certificate, transcript or letter from the college stating number of credits, course name, and dates of the class to their community counselor.

When the weather is nice, we spend more time outdoors with the children. Playing in the back yard, at the playground or walking on nature trails are great ways to get fresh air and exercise.

What are ticks? – Ticks are small mites that attach themselves to skin and suck blood. Click HERE to see examples of ticks.

Where are ticks commonly found? – Ticks are normally found in areas with trees, bushes or tall grass. This includes back yards, parks, nature areas and most places you would be spending time with the children outdoors in the nice weather.

What needs to be done? – When you return home from areas where ticks might live, carefully check the children and yourself (clothing, skin and scalp) for ticks. If you find a tick on one of your host children, notify your host parents immediately.

Most ticks do not carry diseases, and most tick bites do not cause serious health problems. But it is important to remove a tick as soon as you find it. Removing the tick completely and cleaning the area with soap and water or antiseptic spray, may help avoid diseases such as Lyme Disease that the tick may pass on during feeding, or a skin infection where it bit you.

Click HERE for Instructions on Removing a tick from WebMD.com.

How do you reduce risk of tick bites?  – Use a repellent with DEET on skin. Repellents containing 20% or more DEET can protect up to several hours. Always follow product instructions. Adults should apply this product to their children, avoiding the hands, eyes, and mouth. When you come back in from outside, it’s best to wash the repellent off of skin with soap and water. For detailed information about using DEET on children, see recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Research shows that screen time affects toddlers sleep. If screen time (even iPads or iPhones) begins to interfere with daily living and sleeping, you know it is time to cut back. For example, if your toddler refuses to eat without a screen in front of him, or if they have to watch before bedtime and it delays getting to sleep. Caregivers should model good habits with screens and not eat in front of the TV and should put down their phone at mealtimes with the family.

Here is a research study on this phenomenon.

Daily Touchscreen Use in Infants and Toddlers Is Associated With Reduced Sleep and Delayed Sleep Onset

Celeste H. M. Cheung, Rachael Bedford, Irati R. Saez De Urabain, Annette Karmiloff-Smith & Tim J. Smith
Scientific Reports

Traditional screen time (e.g., TV and videogaming) has been linked to sleep problems and poorer developmental outcomes in children. With the advent of portable touchscreen devices, this association may be extending down in age to disrupt the sleep of infants and toddlers, an age when sleep is essential for cognitive development. However, this association has not been demonstrated empirically. This study aims to examine whether frequency of touchscreen use is associated with sleep in infants and toddlers between 6 and 36 months old. An online survey was administered to 715 parents reporting on child media use (daily exposure to TV and use of touchscreens), sleep patterns (night-time and daytime sleep duration, sleep onset—time to fall asleep, and frequencies of night awakenings). Structural equation models controlling for age, sex, TV exposure, and maternal education indicated a significant association between touchscreen use and night-time sleep, daytime sleep, and sleep onset. No significant effect was observed for the number of night awakenings. To our knowledge, this is the first report linking the use of touchscreen with sleep problems in infants and toddlers. Future longitudinal studies are needed to clarify the direction of effects and the mechanisms underlying these associations using detailed sleep tracking.

Media Report: “Touchscreen-Toddlers” Sleep Less, Researchers Say

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree, when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. They will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 4 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

4. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.).

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)