Most American parents want their children to be independent and responsible, and have a positive image of themselves. A child’s self image is based on how the child sees himself or herself. This is called self-esteem. It is defined by the judgments children make about their own self worth. Self-esteem can be positive or negative. In America, positive self-esteem is very important.

A child may have positive or high self-esteem at different points in his/her life and negative or low self-esteem at other times. Most preschool-aged children typically have very high self-esteem. As children get older, their peers become more critical of each other and can affect a child’s self-esteem. As children move into the elementary school and middle school their self-esteem can decrease for a period of time due to the criticism from their friends.

There are several ways for parents and au pairs to build positive self-esteem in children and have them feel good about themselves. The suggestions include:

1. Providing warmth, support and praise
2. Using positive discipline
3. Being responsive to a child’s needs
4. Having reasonable, age-appropriate expectations of a child
5. Developing and enforcing consistent limits
6. Providing opportunities for a child to make choices
7. Providing opportunities for a child to explore, investigate and problem-solve
8. Encouraging a child to be responsible for their actions
9. Expressing interest in a child and his or her activities.
10. Helping a child handle disappointment and failure.
11. Providing opportunities for a child to succeed.
12. Providing opportunities for a child to help other people.