Category Archives: Q and A

How to parent an infant and toddler

Parenting is a lifetime journey full of rich experiences, loving, caring, learning, teaching, observing and shaping the life of an offspring.

Understanding normal child development and the tasks that children need to master at each stage to navigate childhood is of great importance and helps parents and educators tailor their expectations, demands and discipline in such a way that they can be appropriate, productive and support the child in their own journey of growing up.

Infancy:

Building a strong bond and a secure attachment between baby and parent is the focus of this period. This is accomplished by being responsive to the baby’s needs. Starting from birth, babies learn who they are by the way they are treated.

Through everyday interactions, touching, holding, comforting, and talking parents, relatives and caregivers send messages like You’re smart. You’re loved.  I enjoy being with you. These messages shape a baby’s sense of self and self-esteem.

While it’s easy to be affectionate when babies are cute and cuddly, it’s also important to nurture babies when they are difficult, fussy, crying a lot or colicky. By supporting babies during their most difficult times, you are letting them know they can trust and rely on you. This makes them feel safe and makes it more likely they will learn to calm themselves as they grow. A well-handled, nurtured, and loved infant develops trust, security and a basic optimism.

Toddler years:
During the toddler years there is a dramatic increase in the acquisition of new skills, language and communication as well as motor abilities. The child becomes capable of satisfying some of their own needs. They gain control over eliminative functions, they learn to use the bathroom, feed, dress and wash themselves and, they begin to explore their surroundings.  They also develop a sense of self awareness and they come to realize that they are separate from others.

This new independence which comes from their newly acquired abilities: walking, talking, and self-sufficiency, fascinates them. They exhibit a great deal of enthusiasm and emotion.Helping them regulate their emotions is a major task for the parent during this time of development. Providing daily structure, routine and giving them notice when a transition is coming helps children anticipate, prepare, and cope with the many changes they have to make each day.

Knowing what to expect helps toddlers feel safe, confident, and in control of their world.
Making a connection between behavior and consequences is a lesson that parents need to teach by developing clear rules and expectations and by establishing methods of age appropriate discipline, such as time-out for inappropriate behavior.

Help your little one understand there are many healthy, non-hurtful ways of expressing feelings. For example, toddlers can rip paper, stomp their feet or throw a foam ball when they are very mad. Children this age need to learn how to deal with conflict and how to solve problems by using verbal language rather than resorting to physical expressions of negative emotions.

http://www.howtolearn.com/2011/03/best-parenting-tips-from-infancy-to-young-adulthoold

photo from faypsych.com

Facebook tips

  • Do not post pictures of your host children on Facebook!
  • Do not say anything on Facebook about your host family that is negative!
  • Do not mention your host family’s address or phone number on Facebook!
  • Do not mention that no one is home at your host family’s house (for example that you are all away on vacation together)
  • Do not write anything on Facebook that you would not want your host family to see!

Anything you put on Facebook is there for the world to see!  Do not put anything on Facebook that will embarrass your host family or compromise your position with them. Remember future employers will search Facebook before they consider you for employment.  Facebook is a fun way to connect with friends and family, but it is NOT PRIVATE, so be careful!!

Work hours clarified

I have had a number of questions recently related to what an au pair’s duties and responsibilities are and how the hours are to be calculated.  So, I decided to publish this for clarification.  I hope you find this useful.

Federal Regulation Sec. 62.31 Au Pairs (j) Wages and Hours


Sponsors shall require those au pair participants:


(1) Are compensated at a weekly rate based upon 45 hours of child care services per week and paid in conformance with the requirements of the Fair Labor Standards Act as interpreted and implemented by the United States Department of Labor.

(2) Do not provide more than 10 hours of child care per day or more than 45 hours of child care in any one-week.

(3) Receive a minimum of one and one half days off per week in addition to one complete weekend off each month; and

(4) Receive two weeks of paid vacation.

Au Pair in America’s Policy:

· A day and a half off means twenty-four hours in which the au pair does not work at all, plus twenty-four hours in which she works no more than half of her normal workday (not to exceed five hours).

· The au pair is entitled to one full weekend off per month. A complete weekend off begins Friday evening and ends Monday when the au pair’s regular schedule resumes.

· Au pairs are to provide care only to the children of their host parents and housework as it relates to the children; they may not accept or engage in any other employment opportunities in or out of the host family’s home.

Calculating hours:

An au pair is considered to be working if she has full responsibility for the children. Therefore if the children are in bed, and the au pair also goes to bed, she is still on duty if she is expected to take care of any situation or emergency that may arise with the children. Similarly, taking the children to school or walking them to the bus stop needs to be calculated as part of her working hours.  Additionally, anytime the au pair is engaged in duties related to the children (tidying up their rooms, making their meals, preparing lunches, doing their laundry, cleaning up the dishes, sweeping the floor after meal time, etc this time is to be calculated as part of her 45 hours.

The definition of “free time” is if an au pair has absolutely no child care responsibility. It is important to note that au pairs who are “on call” with beepers or cell phones are not technically on “free time.” On call hours are counted as part of the forty-five hour maximum.

Au pairs are to receive a day and a half off each week. If the au pair requests that she not work on her Sabbath, this should be her day off each week. Although Federal Regulation does not require it, au pairs will be happiest if their time off is on the weekend. The day and the half day need not be consecutive, for example an au pair could have Saturday as her half-day, work not more than 5 hours Saturday evening and then have Sunday off. A half day off from work means that the work part of the day not exceed half of her usual work day.

Weekend off: Au pairs are entitled to one weekend off each month from Friday night to Monday morning, for a minimum of twelve weekends off during the year. It is best if this is agreed upon in advance.

Responsibilities:

Au pairs may be responsible for the children’s laundry; children’s meals – preparation and clean-up; tidying children’s rooms, bathroom and play areas; Driving the children.

Au pairs may not: Do laundry for the whole family; Be required to care for pets; Do housework unrelated to the children or care for anyone past their 18th birthday. When the au pair participates in family routines (such as meals) it is reasonable to expect that she will help with preparation or clean-up, to the same degree that host parents participate. This is not to be exploited; she is to be considered as a member of the family, not as a domestic.

Planning a vacation?

With Memorial Day just passed and Fourth of July coming soon, I wanted to remind everyone about program rules on holidays and vacations.

Holidays

  • Host families are NOT REQUIRED to give au pairs any specific holidays.
  • Each host family will make different arrangements on holidays, some au pairs will be off and others will be required to work.
  • Au pairs should NOT make plans for holidays without checking with your host family FIRST.

luggage malias

Vacation

  • Au pair earns 2 weeks of paid vacation during the course of her year.
  • The host family can pick a week and the au pair can pick a week, if an agreement is not reached.
  • All vacation should be preplanned (at least 4 weeks in advance.)
  • All au pair’s friends and/or family visits/vacations should be pre-approved prior to purchasing a ticket.
  • If an au pair travels with their host family, it should be discussed UP FRONT whether this is the au pair’s vacation or if she is working.
  • If an au pair travels with the host family to work, the host family is required to pay for her transportation, lodging and meals.

Important: An au pair MUST have her DS2019 signed PRIOR to her departure from the US. More info. about this can be found on the right side of this page under “Travel Links for Au Pairs.”

Tips if you want to extend into a second year

Au Pair in America

Reminders for au pairs who are extending for a 2nd year (6,9 or 12months).

MEDICAL INSURANCE:

Your medical policy expires for the first year and you start your new policy during the year you extend so that means:

For example:

-Your first year began february 2011 and your insurance policy is the 2011 policy.

-You extend in February 2012 so you are now on the 2012 policy. (be aware of the changes in the policy)

Your insurance card expires after one year so you should receive a printable card when you start your extension year. If you do not receive it call the agency for a new card.

If you purchased the upgrade insurance in your first year, you have to purchase it again in the second year.

If you purchased the sports insurance in your first year, it lasts only 12 months from the time you bought it. So depending on when you bought it, you will probably need to purchase it again.

EDUCATION

If you extend for 9 or 12 months you have to get 6 credits again or 72 hours of education to complete the program requirements.

If you extend for 6 months you only need 3 credits or 36 hours of education.

DRIVERS LICENSE

Check on the expiration of your driver’s license, you must renew it before it expires (DO NOT LET YOUR LICENSE EXPIRE). Most likely you will need to renew it before you start your extension year. Check with your new host family for laws in your new destination state.

VACATION

Vacation for a 6 month extension is 6 days.

Vacation for a 9 and 12 month is 2 weeks.

TRAVEL

Check on the expiration date of your visa. If it expires before your second year starts then you should not travel outside of the USA, Canada, and Mexico out of a risk of not being able to return. With the exception that if you return home during your first year after your approval for extension, you can get your visa renewed for another year. You must ask the agency (contact Evelyn Blum) for the paperwork required for this renewal.

RETURN HOME (only for au pairs who arrived before 2012)

If you extend for less than 12 months, you will be responsible for the flight surcharges to return home. If you extend for 12 months you do not pay for surcharges.

Do you need sports insurance?

ice-skateIs it risky to do winter sports without the sports insurance?

Yes. If you have to pay your own hospital bills for a broken bone, you might be shocked at how much that would cost. I checked this website for some cost estimates.

Here are a couple examples:

  • Without medical coverage, to treat a broken arm or leg (that does not require surgery) it could cost up to $2,500.
  • Without medical coverage, to treat a broken arm or leg (requiring surgery) it could cost $16,000 or more.

    • I wanted to make sure everyone understands how the medical coverage works for sports related injuries. There is a list of “high-risk sports/activities” that are not covered with the basic or upgrade medical insurance plans. Those activities are only covered with the Sports Insurance Package (also known as Option A.)

    The Sports Insurance Package was available pre-departure and may also be purchased at any time during your year. It takes effect within 48 hours of your enrollment and it is good for 12 months. The cost will be the same ($75) whether you have a month left or your whole year ahead of you. I recommend you pay for it early on, if you didn’t already purchase it. You never know when an opportunity might present itself and you don’t want to miss out on an adventure. You also don’t want to take a risk on getting injured and being responsible for the bill on your own.

    Below is a partial list of sports that are only covered with the sports insurance package:
    Football, Rugby, Scuba diving, Ski-doo,  Wakeboarding, Skydiving, Parachuting, Rock climbing, Zip line, Skate boarding, Rollerblading, Roller skating, Ice Skating, Skiing, Snowboarding,Snowmobiles & Snowshoeing.  View the full list on page 3 of the insurance brochure HERE (2013 arrival au pairs) & HERE for (2014 arrival au pairs)
    Note: Injuries sustained while partaking in these sports are covered with purchase of the Sports Insurance ONLY.

    How to register for the Sports Insurance
    Download the form HERE and follow the instructions. It takes a few days for your coverage to begin. If you think you will be doing any of these sports, you should get it now.

    The holidays are coming!

    With the holidays coming it’s a good time to remind everyone about program rules on holidays and vacations.

    Holidays

    • Host families are NOT REQUIRED to give au pairs any specific holidays.
    • Each host family will make different arrangements on holidays, some au pairs will be off and others will be required to work.
    • Au pairs should NOT make plans for holidays without checking with your host family FIRST.

    luggage maliasVacation

    • Au pair earns 2 weeks of paid vacation during the course of her year.
    • The host family can pick a week and the au pair can pick a week, if an agreement is not reached.
    • All vacation should be preplanned (at least 4 weeks in advance.)
    • All au pair’s friends and/or family visits/vacations should be pre-approved prior to purchasing a ticket.
    • If an au pair travels with their host family, it should be discussed UP FRONT whether this is the au pair’s vacation or if she is working.
    • If an au pair travels with the host family to work, the host family is required to pay for her transportation, lodging and meals.

    Important: An au pair MUST have her DS2019 signed PRIOR to her departure from the US. More info. about this can be found on the right side of this page under “Travel Links for Au Pairs.”


    Do I work on holidays?

    desenhocsThe public school children will be off several days in September and October. These are regular workdays for an au pair, unless your host parents tell you otherwise. As with any “school holiday” start making plans for activities with the kids now.

    In addition to holiday in September (Labor Day & Rosh Hashanah,) many public schools are also out additional days for teacher development and the end of the grading period. As with any holiday, it is up to the host family’s schedule whether you will have the holiday off. Please check with your host families before you assume you have this day off. Do not make any travel plans until you have received confirmation that you will not work on this day.

    Host parents, please check your schedule to make sure that you are factoring in these hours and make adjustments as needed to stay within the State Department regulations not exceeding 10 hours per day or 45 hours per week (or 30 hours her week for Educare.)

    Don’t forget your education requirements!

    Au pairs are required to complete 6 credits or 8 CEUs or 72 or more hours.

    EduCare Companions are required to complete 12 credits or 16 CEUs or 144 or more hours.

    You may take credit or non-credit classes from an accredited college. Look on the right side of this page for accredited schools in our cluster area. If you want to take a class at a school not listed here on my blog, please check with me first to make sure it is accredited. Otherwise, it would not count toward your education requirement.

    Your host family will pay an education allowance to assist you in completing your education requirement. Au Pairs education allowance – $500, EduCare education allowance – $1000

    There are ways to get your credits for just your education allowance, but it will not give you a lot of choices. Normally au pairs will contribute some of their own money ($200+) towards their education.

    The APIA Advantage UCLA Course is the only State Dept. approved class with an online component. No other online classes are accepted.

    Note: Au pairs should only take one weekend course for their education requirement. Using only weekend courses to meet your education requirement could result in the denial of your extension application (should you decide to extend.)