Category Archives: Q and A

Tips for host families expecting their second au pair

You probably remember all this, but just in case…here are a few reminders to help you get started with your next au pair… Let me know if you need anything else.

You make flight arrangements for your AP from any one of the 3 big NY airports. Any flight that leaves at 6 p.m. or later on the day she is coming to you (usually Thursday). Send flight info to the orientation staff.  You may also email the info to your AP, but orientation gets what she needs to her.  Then they take them to the proper airport.

  • Did the office send you a fresh copy of “Guidelines…for a successful year”?  Please be sure you have one and review it before you AP comes. When your AP questions you, the answer will be in print to show her. Let me know if you don’t have one.
  • In making her room “hers”, some families have copied a photo from the au pair’s application and framed it and put it in her bedroom with some flowers or a small plant.
  • Mark her birthday on your calendar.  This is a big day for homesickness; make it good.
  • Ask her to mark her country’s special occasions (like our Thanksgiving and Fourth of July) on the calendar- then let her cook and teach you about it on that day. It will be emotionally helpful to her, and a great cultural learning experience for your family.
  • I suggest you send a welcome package to her at orientation. (Include a picture of your family so she will recognize you at the airport). If you need ideas, give me a call or shoot me an email.  Some people like calling Laura Blersch at Orientation and buying her the NYC Tour ($65) the au pairs can take on Wednesday night of their orientation.  Her direct line is 203-399-5042.  The address at their orientation is: Her Name, c/o APIA, c/o Sheraton Hotel, 700 E. Main St., Stamford, CT 06901. Put her NY arrival date on the bottom left corner of the envelope.
  • BE SURE SHE KNOWS YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER and that she knows that to use a pay phone, you must dial a “1” before the area code and number.  Sometimes flights are delayed or they have gotten lost at the airport (one rematch missed her flight) and they need to know how to contact you if you aren’t at home.
  • Don’t talk about work the first night- just about her and her family and you and your family and how was your flight and how was orientation and all that…
  • Let her sleep late the first day.
  • Remember she cannot be alone with your children for the first 3 days.
  • Inside your orientation folder, there is a Child Care Questionnaire.  Please go through this with your new au pair during the three day training period.  It will help her a lot and remind you of things she need to know.
  • Remember she doesn’t know America. She might not know how to use the shower or toilet or stove or the alarm clock or anything… make no assumptions.  In France, they keep the milk on the shelf. If your current au pair is still there, let her show her these things.  Dish detergent doesn’t go in the dishwasher.  Teach her to turn the water off if the toilet is leaking or overflowing. (and tell her how important it is to tell you if it is)
  • Remember she might be very homesick at first… or she might not be homesick for 3 months.
  • Take her for a drive the first weekend and show her around town.  Later, let her drive you somewhere and see how she does.  If she is drives well enough, let her start driving with you in the car or by herself (but not with kids yet) to the store or school or other places.  She needs to know her way around somewhat before she drives with your kids. (FYI- APs love GPSes for obvious reasons)
  • Make some rules.  Car rules. Your gas plan. House rules. Company rules. Family rules. Tell her these rules will be in effect for the first two months, and then the two or three of you will sit down and talk about them and adjust as needed (like 2 or 3 months) RULES ARE EASIER TO TAKE AWAY THAN TO ADD.
  • Remember you are responsible for allowing time and gas money to cluster meetings and school.
  • She has to have been in the US for two weeks before she can apply for a social security card (so that APIA will have let the Department of State know she’s here).  Whether or not your AP gets a license is up to you and/or your insurance company.
  • Speaking of SS, the US is now keeping a closer watch on having au pairs pay income tax (not SS). This is their responsibility, not yours
  • If you just really loved and are losing ‘the perfect au pair’, remember, this new au pair won’t be perfect- she’s new- it’s all strange- she has to learn it all.  The ‘old’ girl wasn’t perfect at first either. Give it a couple of months. (It’s hard to follow up a really great au pair).

Winter driving safety tips

Driving safely on icy roads

  1. Decrease your speed and leave yourself plenty of room to stop. You should allow at least three times more space than usual between you and the car in front of you.
  2. Brake gently to avoid skidding. If your wheels start to lock up, ease off the brake.
  3. Turn on your lights to increase your visibility to other motorists.
  4. Keep your lights and windshield clean.
  5. Use low gears to keep traction, especially on hills.
  6. Don’t use cruise control or overdrive on icy roads.
  7. Be especially careful on bridges, overpasses and infrequently traveled roads, which will freeze first. Even at temperatures above freezing, if the conditions are wet, you might encounter ice in shady areas or on exposed roadways like bridges.
  8. Don’t pass snow plows and sanding trucks. The drivers have limited visibility, and you’re likely to find the road in front of them worse than the road behind.
  9. Don’t assume your vehicle can handle all conditions. Even four-wheel and front-wheel drive vehicles can encounter trouble on winter roads.

Want to rent a car?

Avis rents to customers between the ages of 21-24 with an Avis-honored credit card and valid driver’s license. At time of rental, we will automatically apply an additional $27-per-day underage surcharge in the US and $35 per day in Canada for these drivers.

Exceptions:

In Washington DC., the minimum age to rent is 25. Except at Washington Dulles Airport (IAD), which now rents to customers between the ages of 21-24 with a valid credit card and driver’s license.

In New York State the minimum age to rent is 18 with a $52 per day surcharge for renters age 18-20 and a $35-per-day underage surcharge for renters age 21-24.

Michigan will continue to have a minimum age of 18 with a $41-per-day surcharge for customers between the ages of 18-20 and $28-per-day surcharge for customers between the ages of 21-24.

In Quebec, the minimum age to rent car groups A, B, C, D & E is 21 with an under age fee of $20 per day for renters age 21-24. For all other car groups, the minimum age is 25.

In Saskatchewan, the minimum age is 18. No under age fee applies.

Government Personnel (civilian or military) minimum age policy is as follows:

For Personnel (FEMA, U.S. Postal Dept., Navy and Army) not using the Government Leisure Pass, minimum age is
* 18 years (No underage surcharge will apply) with Government Travel or Purchase order
* 21 years (No underage surcharge will apply) without Travel or Purchase order

When using the Government Leisure pass the renter is subject to underage fees as specified by renting location.

Renters between the ages of 21-24 may not rent vehicles in the following car classes:

  • Luxury
  • Specialty
  • Minivans
  • Passenger Vans
  • Full-Size SUVs
  • Premium SUVs

The local Avis is in the Sears store at the mall and also at:

315 Garrisonville Rd, Ste 117
Stafford, VA, 22463 , US
(1) 540-288-2764

Going unplugged –

Au Pairs – Imagine for a moment that you went to the hospital and you were in the care of doctors and nurses.  How would you feel if those doctors and nurses who were there to care for you were more interested in texting or using their personal computer than caring for you?  How would that make you feel, about yourself and about them?  Would you think that you were getting the treatment you deserved?  Would you feel like paying the bill after your stay?

Life as an au pair, it is a fine balance between employee and family member. You live with your host family and participate with them as a member of the family, but you also have clear responsibilities as a childcare provider. Being a childcare provider is truly one of the most important jobs I can think of, because you are helping to shape our next generation.  What message are you sending them when you would rather interact with a computer than with them? How will they feel about themselves and about you? Children feel as though everything is about them. They will see this as a rejection of them and they will be more likely to act out.

It also poses a safety concern when you are not paying enough attention to the children in your care.  Accidents happen, but when an adult care giver is close by and appropriately supervising the chances of a major injury dramatically reduce.

During work hours, the following would not be considered acceptable:

-Texting
-Talking to friends on the phone
-Chatting with friends online
-Using Skype
-IMing
-Emailing
-Updating your status on Facebook or your mood on MySpace
-Checking in on Orkut, Studivz, SiempreGente or any other social media site
-Watching videos on YouTube
-Tweeting on your Twitter
-Uploading photos
-Anything else on the computer unless it is going to Nickjr.com together with your host children

Think about this — even if you work 45 hours a week, that leaves you 123 hours per week for all of that other stuff, or about 70 hours (if you are getting the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night.)

Host Parents – You need to be clear about what you consider acceptable during work hours to avoid misunderstandings.  Also, please understand that you are dealing with a new generation of people who are very accustomed to being plugged in at all times.  Their intention is not to be rude, they don’t necessarily realize how their actions will be perceived.  Please use this information as an opportunity to begin a dialogue on the issue.

Top ten tips for au pairs

10. ADMIT IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND

Let your family know if language is a problem. Admit if you do not understand a word or a direction. Ask questions. Relax-your English will improve during the first few weeks. And after you become accustomed to the family’s routine, you will find that the number of questions will decline.

9. SHOWER OR BATHE REGULARLY

Most Americans value cleanliness as a virtue. Families expect that their AuPair will bathe or shower regularly, wash hair frequently and change to clean clothes daily. Remember to launder worn clothes.

8. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE

The children you care for look up to you. Do not do things in front of the children that parent’s wouldn’t want them doing.

7. BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR HOST PARENTS

Keep them informed of where you are going. If you are planning on travelling, discuss the details with them and make sure your plans do not interfere with their schedule.

6. FOLLOW THE HOUSE RULES

The only way you will establish trust is by following rules-even the rule you may not agree with.

5. NEGOTIATE FOR CHANGE

If you have a problem, present it to your host family clearly and calmly. Suggest your solution to a situation. Listen to what they have to say and try to reach a compromise.

4. RESPECT THE PRIVACY OF OTHERS

Gossiping about other AuPairs and host families may be very harmful. If your friends confide in you, honor the confidence. Do not tell your host families what goes on in other families.

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR YOUR ACTIONS

No one is perfect. If you make a mistake, take responsibility and try to correct the situation. Do not blame others.

2. BE A GOOD BUDDY

Remember what it was like to be a new AuPair. Welcome new arrivals. Arrange to meet a new AuPair, take her out, or take her to the next meeting

1. STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR COMMUNITY COUNSELOR

Call if you can’t come to a meeting. Let me know if you’ll be out of town. Call when you have a problem and need advice. If I do not know you have an issue, I cannot help. Or just call to check in, I love hearing from you.

image from bibliojunkies.blogspot.com

Classes for au pairs

We are very proud of the ongoing training we offer our au pairs which provides further educational on a wide range of topics.. Our orientation trainers take great care to research and prepare the topics presented and we get great feedback from au pairs who attend.

http://www.intraxinc.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/rotator_image/APC-page2.jpg

Au pairs  can register for classes through the webinar link in the email they receive each month. Here is a schedule of upcoming classes:

Webinar Schedule (All times Eastern time zone)

October 15

8 pm Nutrition. Good eating for you and your kids

9 pm It’s Up to You. Making the most of your Au Pair year

10 pm Activities to do with Preschoolers

October 29

11 am Language Development: Birth and beyond

12 noon Tantrums are no fun for anyone. Help, my kids are fighting again!

1 pm American holidays: what they are, activities and getting through

the holiday blues

November  11

8 pm Managing play with more than one child

9 pm Repatriation

10 pm Feeling Sad or Stressed: Tips for gaining balance in your life

November 26

11 am Help! My kids are fighting again

12 noon Activities for School Age Kids

1 pm Homesickness. Making it through

December 5

8 pm Activities to do with Preschoolers

December 6

9 pm Successfully communicating with your host family

December 9

10 am Homework: Finding the right strategy for your child

December 15

9 pm Homesickness. Making it through

10 pm Toilet Training 101

December 17

8 pm Tantrums are no fun for anyone

Money Questions

money-clipart

Miscellaneous Expenses

It’s important for the host family and the au pair to agree how to handle the little expenses that may come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for this kind of expenses.  Here are some suggestions for avoiding problems with that.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas and Fare Cards

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs:

  • to and from classes and cluster meetings
  • driving the kids

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

It’s Baby Safety Month

Smiling infant on back with legs raised in the air

Baby Safety Month

There are safety tips throughout this site to keep the children safe. Here are some more tips for baby in honor of Baby Safety Month:

  • Check condition and sturdiness of toys. Discard any that have sharp edges or are broken or falling apart.
  • Check children’s clothing for loose buttons and remove strings.
  • Is baby’s pacifier still in good condition? Be sure it isn’t coming apart. Never use strings to attach the pacifier to baby’s clothes or crib.
  • Where do you set baby’s carrier when she’s in it? Not on the counter please, or any high surface. Babies can wiggle and tip themselves over.
  • Are you using an old walker? It’s time to throw it out. Walkers can be dangerous (especially old ones that don’t meet today’s safety standards).
  • Stroller check. If your stroller is collapsible, be sure latches are secure before putting baby in. Always check that your child’s arms are out of the way when reversing handle directions so they won’t get pinched. Be sure to use that safety strap. Don’t hang overloaded or heavy bags on the handle of the stroller; this may cause it to tip over.
  • Can you name the 12 most common choking foods for kids under five? Popcorn, hot dogs, chunks of meat, raisins, ice cubes, chunky peanut butter, peanuts (nuts of any kind), hard candy, grapes, raw carrots, potato chips and corn chips.
  • Don’t leave toddlers alone while eating; if they begin to choke you need to be nearby to assist.
  • Get a piggy bank: this is a great place to put coins so they don’t end up on the floor, in the couch cushions and then baby’s mouth.
  • Never leave your child unattended in the bathtub. If the phone rings, let the machine get it, or bring a cordless phone into the bathroom with you. Wait until baby can sit alone to give baths in the tub. It’s easier in the sink until then.

Enroll in an infant/child CPR and first aid class. This will be a valuable investment of your time, and Au Pair in America will pay for it if you have at least 3 months remaining on your visa.

How to get a Virginia drivers license

An au pair is legal to drive on an International Driver’s License for six months or an English translation of her National Driver’s License (Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia) until she has all of the pieces that are required to get a VA license.

How to get a Driver’s License:

Effective immediately, to apply for a driver’s license (holders of German, French, South Korean or Canadian driver’s licenses) or a learner’s permit (all other countries) your au pair must bring:

  • Bank Statement
  • Envelope with the au pair’s name and host family address on it
  • Passport, DS-2019, I-94

At the DMV you will:

  • Take the computer/multiple choice test.
  • If you pass the written test – you will take the driving test.
  • If you pass the driving test you will get your VA Driver’s License!

Au pairs that are not yet 19 will not be licensed in the state of Virginia without extensive driver’s education.  Once, an au pair turns 19 – this is no longer required.

An au pair will receive a Virginia license that is valid only for the term of her visa.  For her to renew her license after her visa has expired she will have to prove that she is in the U.S. legally with new visa documentation.

What’s an Au Pair?

Fun Activities

“Au pair” means “on par” or equal. Au pairs and EduCare companions are international visitors who travel to the United States on a J-1 Visitor Exchange Visa to acquire a better understanding and appreciation of American life while living with an American family and caring for their young children.

Au pairs and companions become full-fledged family members, sharing a cultural exchange experience that often leads to a lasting relationship with the host family.

Au pairs on our Au Pair or Extraordinaire programs care for children of all ages – infants from three months of age, pre-school and school age. EduCare companions are au pairs who care exclusively for older children who are in school for a full five days a week.

All au pairs and companions make a commitment to participate in the program for 12 months. Those in good standing at the end of 12 months have an option to apply for an extension of duration of stay to continue their participation an additional 6, 9 or 12 months.