Tag Archives: tips

Back to School Planning

Back to school time is here. This can mean changes to the au pair schedule and possibly to the duties.  It is very important to communicate these changes to avoid problems.

Here is a list of topics to consider discussing:

  • Au pair’s work schedule
  • The children’s school and activity schedules
  • Where the children get dropped off and picked up and who will be doing this
  • What to do if a child is staying home sick, late to school, does not get off the bus (if they are supposed to)
  • Driving laws regarding stopping for school buses
  • How to tell if school has been canceled or delayed for bad weather
  • Add the au pair to your list of people allowed to pick up the kids from school and explain the process
  • What to pack for lunch
  • The routine after school (do they have free time before starting homework, what to give for a snack, any chores, where do they put their backpacks & lunchboxes)
  • How to communicate about what’s going on at school. Your Kids in Care logbook from Au Pair in America can be a great two-way communication tool for keeping track of schedules, afterschool activities and day to day info that needs to be transferred between host parents and au pair.
  • If your au pair will be the one going through the children’s backpack and helping with homework, consider designating an area for putting things that need to be read and/or signed by parents.

Here are some Printable Fill-in-the-Blank School Notes for parents. You can print these out and have them ready for times when the kids are absent, late, have an early dismissal or you need to give permission for something.

Check out Au Pair in America’s Pinterest School Tips and Ideas pinboard for things like organization ideas, back to school traditions, printable lunch box notes, and fun lunch recipes.

 

Facebook tips

  • Do not post pictures of your host children on Facebook!
  • Do not say anything on Facebook about your host family that is negative!
  • Do not mention your host family’s address or phone number on Facebook!
  • Do not mention that no one is home at your host family’s house (for example that you are all away on vacation together)
  • Do not write anything on Facebook that you would not want your host family to see!

Anything you put on Facebook is there for the world to see!  Do not put anything on Facebook that will embarrass your host family or compromise your position with them. Remember future employers will search Facebook before they consider you for employment.  Facebook is a fun way to connect with friends and family, but it is NOT PRIVATE, so be careful!!

Top 7 parenting tips

Enhance your parent-child relationship by focusing on the following essentials:

  • Love your child and praise them frequently so that they feel valued and wanted.
  • Set clear boundaries so that your child knows where they stand.
  • Provide them with clear routines and structure so that they feel safe and know what to expect.
  • Be consistent in your approach so that they learn the behavior well.
  • Reward your child for being good, trying hard or doing well to build their self-esteem.
  • Follow through with clear consequences if they misbehave, so that they learn from their mistakes.
  • Give them cuddles and affection at every opportunity so that they know they are loved.

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/7-top-parenting-tips1.htm

Photo from myncap.org

Tips if you want to extend into a second year

Au Pair in America

Reminders for au pairs who are extending for a 2nd year (6,9 or 12months).

MEDICAL INSURANCE:

Your medical policy expires for the first year and you start your new policy during the year you extend so that means:

For example:

-Your first year began february 2011 and your insurance policy is the 2011 policy.

-You extend in February 2012 so you are now on the 2012 policy. (be aware of the changes in the policy)

Your insurance card expires after one year so you should receive a printable card when you start your extension year. If you do not receive it call the agency for a new card.

If you purchased the upgrade insurance in your first year, you have to purchase it again in the second year.

If you purchased the sports insurance in your first year, it lasts only 12 months from the time you bought it. So depending on when you bought it, you will probably need to purchase it again.

EDUCATION

If you extend for 9 or 12 months you have to get 6 credits again or 72 hours of education to complete the program requirements.

If you extend for 6 months you only need 3 credits or 36 hours of education.

DRIVERS LICENSE

Check on the expiration of your driver’s license, you must renew it before it expires (DO NOT LET YOUR LICENSE EXPIRE). Most likely you will need to renew it before you start your extension year. Check with your new host family for laws in your new destination state.

VACATION

Vacation for a 6 month extension is 6 days.

Vacation for a 9 and 12 month is 2 weeks.

TRAVEL

Check on the expiration date of your visa. If it expires before your second year starts then you should not travel outside of the USA, Canada, and Mexico out of a risk of not being able to return. With the exception that if you return home during your first year after your approval for extension, you can get your visa renewed for another year. You must ask the agency (contact Evelyn Blum) for the paperwork required for this renewal.

RETURN HOME (only for au pairs who arrived before 2012)

If you extend for less than 12 months, you will be responsible for the flight surcharges to return home. If you extend for 12 months you do not pay for surcharges.

Tips for host families expecting their second au pair

You probably remember all this, but just in case…here are a few reminders to help you get started with your next au pair… Let me know if you need anything else.

You make flight arrangements for your AP from any one of the 3 big NY airports. Any flight that leaves at 6 p.m. or later on the day she is coming to you (usually Thursday). Send flight info to the orientation staff.  You may also email the info to your AP, but orientation gets what she needs to her.  Then they take them to the proper airport.

  • Did the office send you a fresh copy of “Guidelines…for a successful year”?  Please be sure you have one and review it before you AP comes. When your AP questions you, the answer will be in print to show her. Let me know if you don’t have one.
  • In making her room “hers”, some families have copied a photo from the au pair’s application and framed it and put it in her bedroom with some flowers or a small plant.
  • Mark her birthday on your calendar.  This is a big day for homesickness; make it good.
  • Ask her to mark her country’s special occasions (like our Thanksgiving and Fourth of July) on the calendar- then let her cook and teach you about it on that day. It will be emotionally helpful to her, and a great cultural learning experience for your family.
  • I suggest you send a welcome package to her at orientation. (Include a picture of your family so she will recognize you at the airport). If you need ideas, give me a call or shoot me an email.  Some people like calling Laura Blersch at Orientation and buying her the NYC Tour ($65) the au pairs can take on Wednesday night of their orientation.  Her direct line is 203-399-5042.  The address at their orientation is: Her Name, c/o APIA, c/o Sheraton Hotel, 700 E. Main St., Stamford, CT 06901. Put her NY arrival date on the bottom left corner of the envelope.
  • BE SURE SHE KNOWS YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER and that she knows that to use a pay phone, you must dial a “1” before the area code and number.  Sometimes flights are delayed or they have gotten lost at the airport (one rematch missed her flight) and they need to know how to contact you if you aren’t at home.
  • Don’t talk about work the first night- just about her and her family and you and your family and how was your flight and how was orientation and all that…
  • Let her sleep late the first day.
  • Remember she cannot be alone with your children for the first 3 days.
  • Inside your orientation folder, there is a Child Care Questionnaire.  Please go through this with your new au pair during the three day training period.  It will help her a lot and remind you of things she need to know.
  • Remember she doesn’t know America. She might not know how to use the shower or toilet or stove or the alarm clock or anything… make no assumptions.  In France, they keep the milk on the shelf. If your current au pair is still there, let her show her these things.  Dish detergent doesn’t go in the dishwasher.  Teach her to turn the water off if the toilet is leaking or overflowing. (and tell her how important it is to tell you if it is)
  • Remember she might be very homesick at first… or she might not be homesick for 3 months.
  • Take her for a drive the first weekend and show her around town.  Later, let her drive you somewhere and see how she does.  If she is drives well enough, let her start driving with you in the car or by herself (but not with kids yet) to the store or school or other places.  She needs to know her way around somewhat before she drives with your kids. (FYI- APs love GPSes for obvious reasons)
  • Make some rules.  Car rules. Your gas plan. House rules. Company rules. Family rules. Tell her these rules will be in effect for the first two months, and then the two or three of you will sit down and talk about them and adjust as needed (like 2 or 3 months) RULES ARE EASIER TO TAKE AWAY THAN TO ADD.
  • Remember you are responsible for allowing time and gas money to cluster meetings and school.
  • She has to have been in the US for two weeks before she can apply for a social security card (so that APIA will have let the Department of State know she’s here).  Whether or not your AP gets a license is up to you and/or your insurance company.
  • Speaking of SS, the US is now keeping a closer watch on having au pairs pay income tax (not SS). This is their responsibility, not yours
  • If you just really loved and are losing ‘the perfect au pair’, remember, this new au pair won’t be perfect- she’s new- it’s all strange- she has to learn it all.  The ‘old’ girl wasn’t perfect at first either. Give it a couple of months. (It’s hard to follow up a really great au pair).

Top ten tips for au pairs

10. ADMIT IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND

Let your family know if language is a problem. Admit if you do not understand a word or a direction. Ask questions. Relax-your English will improve during the first few weeks. And after you become accustomed to the family’s routine, you will find that the number of questions will decline.

9. SHOWER OR BATHE REGULARLY

Most Americans value cleanliness as a virtue. Families expect that their AuPair will bathe or shower regularly, wash hair frequently and change to clean clothes daily. Remember to launder worn clothes.

8. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE

The children you care for look up to you. Do not do things in front of the children that parent’s wouldn’t want them doing.

7. BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR HOST PARENTS

Keep them informed of where you are going. If you are planning on travelling, discuss the details with them and make sure your plans do not interfere with their schedule.

6. FOLLOW THE HOUSE RULES

The only way you will establish trust is by following rules-even the rule you may not agree with.

5. NEGOTIATE FOR CHANGE

If you have a problem, present it to your host family clearly and calmly. Suggest your solution to a situation. Listen to what they have to say and try to reach a compromise.

4. RESPECT THE PRIVACY OF OTHERS

Gossiping about other AuPairs and host families may be very harmful. If your friends confide in you, honor the confidence. Do not tell your host families what goes on in other families.

3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR YOUR ACTIONS

No one is perfect. If you make a mistake, take responsibility and try to correct the situation. Do not blame others.

2. BE A GOOD BUDDY

Remember what it was like to be a new AuPair. Welcome new arrivals. Arrange to meet a new AuPair, take her out, or take her to the next meeting

1. STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR COMMUNITY COUNSELOR

Call if you can’t come to a meeting. Let me know if you’ll be out of town. Call when you have a problem and need advice. If I do not know you have an issue, I cannot help. Or just call to check in, I love hearing from you.

image from bibliojunkies.blogspot.com