Feeling the stress of unreliable childcare and finding it difficult to manage schedules? Hosting an au pair might be the solution you’ve been searching for. In this interview, we speak with long-time Au Pair in America host mom Alyssa from Southern California who shares how her au pairs have helped her relieve stress and free up her schedule so she can focus on work and spending quality time with family.
Join us as Alyssa discusses how hosting an au pair has helped her and her husband balance full-time careers while managing the needs of their four boys in Southern California.
Robin: Hi everyone, I’m Robin Leon with the Au Pair in America team, and I’m here with one of our amazing host moms in California. Hi Alyssa, do you mind introducing yourself and telling the good folks a little bit about yourself?
Alyssa: My name is Alyssa, I’m originally from Boston, but I live in Southern California now. I have four beautiful boys, ages 7 to 12, and I work at an investment management company doing pricing strategy.
Robin: Wow, how long have you been hosting au pairs?
Alyssa: I’ve been hosting au pairs since just before my twins were born, so I’d say about seven and a half years.
Robin: That’s great—we love a long-term host family! So, having hosted for seven and a half years, I feel like I know the answer to this next question, but…
Would you recommend the au pair program to other parents, and if so, why?
Alyssa: I would, and in fact, I have recommended it to multiple friends of mine and coworkers. As a parent with many children, there are several reasons. Number one for me is the flexibility—when you need someone to help with the kids in the morning, but only for an hour or two, it’s really difficult to find reliable help that will come over for such a short time period and then come back in the afternoon to pick kids up from school, drive them around, and take care of them. If your kids aren’t home all day and you have a split schedule, the flexibility is probably number one as to why I’d recommend it.
But there are so many other benefits. We’ve loved having different people here from various countries—the relationships my kids have formed with them have been amazing. We’re still in touch with every single one of our au pairs, and they come to visit us and stay with us. It’s really been quite a blessing to have been in the program.
Robin: I love hearing about the relationships you build throughout the years and the visits—it’s such a special part of the program. Which is the perfect transition to the cultural exchange component of the program—we always say cultural exchange is the beating heart of the Au Pair in America program.
How do you balance your needs and your au pair’s needs?
Alyssa: I think for us, the key is to have open, candid discussions and conversations, and really understand what their expectations are, make your expectations clear, and then see where you’re aligned and where you both may need to flex to ensure it works for everyone.
It’s been drastically different with each au pair we’ve had, and much of that has been driven by their preferences—how much involvement they want to have with our family. For example, do they want to eat dinner with us when they’re not working, or do they prefer to do their own thing? Their level of involvement, whether they want to spend time with us as a family or go out and meet friends and experience the country on their own, really comes down to discussing it and finding a good balance.
Robin: Communication is so important in the au pair-host family relationship… Sticking with the topic of culture, having hosted so many au pairs from a variety of countries, can you talk about something special, like customs, language, or food, that you’ve learned or shared with them?
What have you learned about other countries or cultures by hosting au pairs?
Alyssa: Food is a big thing in our house, so we love to exchange meals depending on what country they’re from. I’m not much of a cook, but I love to eat, and I enjoy showing them what we regularly make and how we eat…
For those who miss their home cuisine, we try to find a good local restaurant that’s as close to authentic as possible for their birthdays and take them there with the kids. It gives them a little piece of home while they’re here.
Robin: I bet they love that. Food is such an important cultural exchange aspect.
Can you talk about the cost of childcare in your area of [Southern California]?
Alyssa: In my area, childcare costs are exorbitant. Prices depend on the city or neighborhood, and they often go up just because of where we live. Affordability aside, reliability can be so difficult. Finding someone affordable may not coincide with someone who is reliable and will show up and not have a last-minute cancellation.
Robin: It’s so important for working parents to have reliable childcare. We love to say that one of the best parts of the au pair program is that they live with you, so they’re ready to go when you are. I know your kids are a little older, but do you have any insight into the availability of childcare in your area? Are there waitlists?
How available is childcare in your area?
Alyssa: I wouldn’t say there are waitlists because we weren’t looking at daycare, since our kids are in elementary school now. Our main focus is on mornings and after-school care—getting the kids up, off to school, and to their activities. So there aren’t necessarily waitlists, but when I have searched on my own for temporary childcare without a direct referral, it’s been really difficult to find someone who meets your family’s needs.
Robin: It’s so hard to find that unicorn who can handle that before school and after-school care.
What is one word that describes your experience as a host family?
Alyssa: This might sound strange, but I’d say “destressful.” When you have quite a few kids, there are so many moving pieces to your life… when both parents work full-time, making sure that your kids get here and they’re scheduled for “this,” and “this” gets paid… it’s a constant anxiety-filled scheduling situation. So just knowing you have someone you can really rely on—making sure the kids are where they need to be, cared for, happy, healthy, they’re taking their baths and eating well—is just stress relief. When we’ve had shorter periods without an au pair, just trying to get everything working is a huge source of stress. The program really frees me up to focus on other things like work and quality family time.
Robin: I love that quality family time thought as well. Anything that reduces stress for parents in modern times is great. We love destress, stress reduction, quality time, those are all great. Alyssa, thank you so much for your time and kind words about the Au Pair in America program.
Alyssa: Absolutely. I’ve had an amazing experience and hope to continue for at least a few more years.
Are you a parent in Southern California in need of flexible and affordable childcare? Au Pair in America can help you select an au pair who is the perfect fit for your family!
We understand the importance of reliable, high-quality childcare, and our team is here to provide comprehensive support, from matching you with the right au pair to providing year-round assistance and a personalized support team. Learn more about how Au Pair in America can make a difference for your family today. Want to see how our costs compare to other childcare options? View our au pair program fees here and see if you’re eligible for a discount.
