Category Archives: Cultural Exchange and Adjustment

Au Pair in America Cultural Fair

Please join us for a chance to learn about more than a dozen different countries in one day.

Au Pair in America Cultural Fair
Sunday, May 18, 2-3 pm 
Greenbelt Library (Auditorium)
11 Crescent Road, Greenbelt, MD 20770

Au pairs proudly representing Panama at our last cultural fair.

Local au pairs from countries around the globe, will share their cultures through visual displays, food samples, games and performances. Children will receive passports and have them stamped as they visit each country. Admission is FREE. 

Please Respond HERE

Questions? Contact Christine Connally at cconnally@aupairinamerica.com

Avoiding Homesickness in the Holiday Season

Homesickness can be a problem during the holidays, even if it hasn’t been at any other time of the year. Au pairs often miss their friends and family, familiar places, and their own traditions and customs. The holiday activities in the United States seem, and may actually be, different just at a time when an au pair would welcome something familiar.

It is common for au pairs’ emotions to be close to the surface during the holidays. Their highs are higher, their lows are lower. The enormity of what they have done–actually living in another country (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)–hits and throws them into a self-protective mode.

Au Pairs, there are things you can do to reduce homesickness during the holidays. It is important to balance your activities to feel connected to your family back home and your traditions and embrace new customs and experiences here in the U.S.

Lina and her friend enjoying one of the most popular celebrations of the year in Colombia. “Every December 7, Colombian families get together with close friends to light several candles thinking about wishes for the coming year such as health, prosperity, love, and happiness. It is also very traditional to share typical food from the region, and what can never be missing is wine and cookies.”

Share your traditions with your host family and friends. Each country has its own special holiday customs. Being friends with other au pairs, you can not only learn about the U.S. but also how other countries celebrate. When you talk with your family back home, you can share some of the new holiday experiences you are having. That can help lessen the feeling of missing out on moments at home by reminding you that you are here in the U.S. for a short time and you are making memories that will last a lifetime.

Host Parents, you can help your au pair through this unfamiliar territory by talking to them about specific family activities (gifts, meals, visitors, religious services, in-home traditions, or none of these, as the case may be.) In the spirit of cultural exchange, ask if they have any favorite holiday traditions or foods that you might be able to incorporate into your family’s celebration of the season. Let them know what you will be doing and when you will be doing it, so they know what to expect. Talk to them about what has to be accomplished and get them involved and interested. Don’t expect them to just “know” what needs to be done. Give some clear, agreed-upon assignments. Make them feel a part of things. And, let them know their contribution is needed and appreciated.

Photo: Lina Cabeza Paez

Surviving & Thriving in the Holiday Season

The fall/winter holiday season is most often a time of joy and excitement. However, it can also be a time of stress and disappointment for both host families and au pairs.

Here are some ideas and insights that will hopefully help you avoid stress and disappointment and share more of the joy and excitement!

Holiday Work Schedules

Miscommunication over the schedule is the #1 issue for host families and au pairs over the holidays. As a reminder to assist with scheduling, program guidelines state an au pair can work up to 45 hours per week and no more than 10 hours per day. Hours cannot be carried from week to week. Please take the time to discuss your schedules and expectations.

The au pair program regulations do not have requirements for au pairs to be given holidays off. However, in the spirit of the program and since most parents will be at home spending time with their children, the majority of host families give au pairs some or all of the winter holidays off Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day. Please discuss this so that everyone is clear about the schedule when making holiday plans.

Religion

For au pairs with religious beliefs different from your own, you may choose to encourage them to share the associated traditions with your family. If you are not comfortable with this aspect of cultural exchange, your au pair may need your help as well as appropriate time off to participate in their own holiday traditions. Enabling them to do this is very important. Their holiday or time to celebrate the holiday may not be the same as yours; try to take this into consideration if you can when you make their work schedule. You may find that there is no conflict in giving their time off if their traditions are different, and it can relieve a great deal of anxiety to take their preferences into consideration. If you do need your au pair to work during the holiday, please tell them way in advance so that it is not a surprise. Help them to see this as a positive aspect of the cultural exchange if she will be actively sharing in the holiday celebration.

Changes to Routine

The dynamics of established relationships and routines change during the holiday. The high emotions and energy of the children (compared to their more reasonable behavior during the rest of the year) may seem like craziness to the au pair. Assure them that this new set of behaviors is temporary and the household will be back to normal soon. In the meantime, suggest specific things she can do to help. Encourage them to roll with the punches and enjoy the craziness. Also, the number of gifts, food, decorations, etc., can be unfamiliar and overwhelming. Try to include the au pair in some quiet, meaningful time together when the true spirit of the holidays is shared.

These are important days ahead. This is perhaps the greatest opportunity of the year to respect and learn about cultural differences, which is, indeed, one of the basic elements of the Au Pair in America program. There will be fun-filled memories. This should be a time of love and understanding. Please do your part to make that happen.

Wishing you every happiness of the season!

Photo: Sean Hobson

Highlights from 2018 Au Pair in America Conference

Au Pair in America has a bi-annual conference where we have the opportunity to meet with our international partners, colleagues from across the country and the Connecticut and London office staff. There are lots of workshops to help us better serve our au pairs and host families.

A few highlights for me:

Au Pair Cultural Fair – In the DC/MD/VA area, we have a lot of experience coordinating cultural fairs. This was an opportunity for counselors from other parts of the country to learn about the process and see what an amazing event our au pairs can put on.

16 PF – Learning about the 16PF personality questionnaire we use in screening our au pairs. It was interesting to know how much research went into selecting this screening tool and the care that is taken in using it to make sure that candidates possess the attributes necessary to be successful in the program. I got to take the questionnaire and it looks like I could qualify to be an au pair, if I was still under 26 years old.

Cultural Competency – I learned more about our new webinars for host parents that help to explain some common cultural differences and how to overcome challenges by taking these underlying factors into account. I would encourage all host parents to take part. Even after 15 years as a community counselor, this workshop helped me get a better understanding how it might feel to be an au pair trying to adjust and communicate with her host family.

 

Hints for Success – Overcoming Homesickness

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree, when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. They will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

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