I queried several of my former au pairs on what the friendships they made here meant to them. This is from Mary Jane from Germany.
“For me, friends are a very important part in my life. They help you in bad times and celebrate the good times, so I knew before my year started it will be important to find some friends. I started looking for facebook groups from the area and already found other au pairs who are close to my host family’s place.
When I got to the US I met up with the girls,even though they were a couple years older than me it was great that they can tell you about the area, as they see it as a foreigner. Also, other au pairs understand everyday stuff you have to deal while being an au pair pair even if you have completely different personalities, you always have something to share because you are in the same situation. That’s what brings you close, if you are open and honest for it. Its important to go out with them and explore and experience new things. Making those memories together make them even more unforgettable.
Au pairs come from all over the world, my best friends were from Sweden, New Zealand and Brazil. It was a crazy mix but you can share so much! We did cook outs where we cooked typical meals from our home country, we were trying to teach each other the language (at least some funny phrases). It really doesn’t matter where they or from, how old they are, what they studied/worked before – differences make it even more interesting. I met friends everyday: for play dates, going to the gym, movies, shopping and trips during the weekend. This is also a big advantage when your friends are also au pairs because they kinda have the same schedule and daily routine. They also understand if you just had a bad day and have to complain about everything.. The thing is, they know that you don’t always mean it when you say the kids were annoying or the host parents are bothering you, it’s completely normal that you have feelings like this even though you love your host kids and host parents.
If you want to make American friends I am sure the host parent can help you if you tell them you want them to help you. My host parents were great friends for me and also helped me making connections with neighbors, people from their work (my age), their friends kids and whatever you can think of! Also, whenever you get out of the house you can meet people and make friends. Americans are very open and interested as soon as they notice you are from another country. So go to the park, gym, Applebee’s, Starbucks, pool, beach, mall…wherever…but GO OUT! Even if you are shy, get out of your comfort zone, it will help you enjoying your time and having fun.
The extra bonus of making friends in the US is, you will have friends around the world who you can visit, travel, see where they really come from and get to know so many cultures!
I am back in Germany since one year now. My friend from South Africa came to visit me, I went to France to see two of my au pair friends, in a few days I am going to travel through Indonesia with an American friend and further plans are e.g. that me and two other au pairs will be the bridesmaids from an au pair friend who is back home in Brazil. Isn’t that amazing?
Sometimes it really hurts that your friends are so far away and you can’t see them very often but there is a thing called skype and who can say he/she has friends on almost every continent. Whenever I am sad about it, I just remind myself how lucky I am that I got the opportunity to meet them. Whenever I think about my time as an au pair there are so many amazing stories that come to my mind what I experienced with them!! The au pair program is an adventure and sharing it with friends made it simply perfect for me!! Having this experience together will make you remain friends forever.”
Thank you, Mary Jane!