Tag Archives: friends

American Experiences – Carla’s Birthday!

My First American Birthday 

The autumnal months officially started for me. It was the week of the 1st of October, my  birthday, which usually symbolizes the beginning of fall for me. But this year everything was different since I celebrated my birthday in the US. Looking at the weather, it didn’t seem to be fall at all.

So, here I was, wearing shorts and a shirt on the 1st of October and still sweating, whereas my parents in Germany were freezing in their sweaters and windbreakers. I assume that I was better-off.

My birthday started at 5.30 am, as early as never before. When my usual alarm woke me up, my phone was already exploding from all the messages that I got from my family and friends in Germany. Consequently, my day couldn’t have started better. I realized that even though I’m far away from home, my friends and family haven’t stopped thinking of me.

In a cheerful mood, I wanted to wake up my host kids but surprisingly, some presents blocked my way to their room. Flowers, a Navy sweater, chocolate, shampoo and other little gifts were standing in front of the stairs. I am still amazed and thankful for everything, because I haven’t expected to get any presents from my host family at all. Additionally, they also gave me some birthday cards from my family and friends in Germany that arrived the days before and that my parents had told them to hide.

After the perfect and unexpected start of my birthday, I followed my daily routine which was  especially fun because my host kids tried to be extra nice to make my day more pleasant. While they spent their time in school (it was the first time for a lot of years that I didn’t need to spend my birthday studying), I used my free-time to meet a friend for a birthday coffee. I also skyped with my parents at home who seemed to be more dissatisfied about spending the day without me than I was. Since my mum decided not to send me an unwieldy birthday present that I need to bring back anyways, she mailed me a wish-list. From now on, I have hard decisions to make because my mum promised me to cook everything that I write down on that list when I come back home next year.

On Tuesdays, the day of my birthday, my host kids usually have a late Soccer practice, so that I haven’t had expected anything else. I was still thankful for the gifts that I got in the morning when my host dad called me to pull the girls out from their Soccer practice. My host parents wanted us to come to my favorite Mexican restaurant to have a special dinner together. Surprisingly, they also invited my best friend Pauline so that we enjoyed a nice dinner together.

When I thought we would be ready to go home, the servants came to our table and sang a  Mexican birthday song for me. They also brought a delicious chocolate-birthday cake. Undoubtedly, it was the biggest birthday cake I’ve ever had.

As you can see, my (first American) birthday was a very special day for me and it was definitely better than I’ve expected. Of course, it was different from celebrating my birthday in Germany with all the people that I love. Nevertheless, it was an impressive experience and my fears of having a bad day full of homesickness didn’t come true.

Photos by: Till Westermayer {flickr}; Barry Silver {flickr}; Dark Dwarf {flickr}

Au Pairs – Building Friendships & Cultural Exchange

Recently one of my au pairs shared with me some special thoughts about her year and the friendships she made with other au pairs in the cluster. She also shared about the impact of cultural exchange with au pairs from lots of different countries.  During her time in the US, Isabelle was friends with a very diverse group of young women from countries such as Germany, Austria, South Korea, France, Spain, South Africa, the UK, etc.

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“The friends you make become your family! I loved how fast you became friends since neither one of you know anybody in the beginning and were strangers to the area and even the country! You understand each others situations. We are all far away from family, friends and everything we know. I mean, not often would I go to a strangers house, pick this someone up in my car and go to a restaurant or similar without even thinking twice about who this person could be? All I know is that we are both au pairs and that kind of makes us good friends even before meeting up. What worked the absolute best for me when I got a bit of homesickness was to spend time together and come out and do stuff with friends! The best medicine!

I might add that I’ve also learned a lot about other countries through the new friends I’ve made. You don’t come to America and just learn about the American culture but also about other countries cultures! I haven’t been home for very long but I hope to be able to travel to a lot of countries one day and visit with my friends!”

-Isabelle, from Sweden

 

 

Making friends with au pairs in your cluster!

I queried several of my former au pairs on what the friendships they made here meant to them. This is from Mary Jane from Germany.

“For me, friends are a very important part in my life. They help you in bad times and celebrate the good times, so I knew before my year started it will be important to find some friends. I started looking for facebook groups from the area and already found other au pairs who are close to my host family’s place.

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When I got to the US I met up with the girls,even though they were a couple years older than me it was great that they can tell you about the area, as they see it as a foreigner. Also, other au pairs understand everyday stuff you have to deal while being an au pair pair even if you have completely different personalities, you always have something to share because you are in the same situation. That’s what brings you close, if you are open and honest for it. Its important to go out with them and explore and experience new things. Making those memories together make them even more unforgettable.


Au pairs come from all over the world, my best friends were from Sweden, New Zealand and Brazil. It was a crazy mix but you can share so much! We did cook outs where we cooked typical meals from our home country, we were trying to teach each other the language (at least some funny phrases). It really doesn’t matter where they or from, how old they are, what they studied/worked before – differences make it even more interesting. I met friends everyday: for play dates, going to the gym, movies, shopping and trips during the weekend. This is also a big advantage when your friends are also au pairs because they kinda have the same schedule and daily routine. They also understand if you just had a bad day and have to complain about everything.. The thing is, they know that you don’t always mean it when you say the kids were annoying or the host parents are bothering you, it’s completely normal that you have feelings like this even though you love your host kids and host parents.


If you want to make American friends I am sure the host parent can help you if you tell them you want them to help you.   My host parents were great friends for me and also helped me making connections with neighbors, people from their work (my age), their friends kids and whatever you can think of! Also, whenever you get out of the house you can meet people and make friends. Americans are very open and interested as soon as they notice you are from another country. So go to the park, gym, Applebee’s, Starbucks, pool, beach, mall…wherever…but GO OUT!  Even if you are shy, get out of your comfort zone, it will help you enjoying your time and having fun.


The extra bonus of making friends in the US is, you will have friends around the world who you can visit, travel, see where they really come from and get to know so many cultures!


I am back in Germany since one year now. My friend from South Africa came to visit me, I went to France to see two of my au pair friends, in a few days I am going to travel through Indonesia with an American friend and further plans are e.g. that me and two other au pairs will be the bridesmaids from an au pair friend who is back home in Brazil. Isn’t that amazing?

Sometimes it really hurts that your friends are so far away and you can’t see them very often but there is a thing called skype and who can say he/she has friends on almost every continent. Whenever I am sad about it, I just remind myself how lucky I am that I got the opportunity to meet them. Whenever I think about my time as an au pair there are so many amazing stories that come to my mind what I experienced with them!! The au pair program is an adventure and sharing it with friends made it simply perfect for me!! Having this experience together will make you remain friends forever.”

Thank you, Mary Jane!