Category Archives: Host Family Tips

Traveling Outside of the US During the Au Pair Year!

Oh, the places you’ll go!!! Your au pair year is full of experiences! Some even chose to travel abroad during this time! Before you travel outside the U.S. during your year, you must send your DS2019 and a travel request form to the Connecticut office for a travel validation signature. Once the form has been signed one time, it does not need to be sent in again. One signature is valid for the entire year.

**Plan to send this at least three weeks before your trip departure.***

If you plan to travel outside the U.S., it is very important to check with the consulate of the country you are planning to visit at least one month before your trip to find out whether you need a visitor’s visa or a transit visa for any stop-overs. Regulations change frequently, so it is important to check for current visa requirements. If you are an extension au pair planning to travel outside of the US, please see the travel visa section for more information.

For a list of countries whose citizens require a visa to visit Canada, click here. If you need a visa to visit Canada, you can find the form and further information here.  You may need to apply for an eTA – Electronic Travel Authorization.

Please note: the Canadian consulate no longer accepts in-person applications for a temporary resident (visitor’s) visa. All visa applications for Canada must be mailed and can take more than 30 days to process. Plan your trip accordingly.

All visitors to Mexico must have a tourist card that can be obtained at the border. You can find details about this card here. As long as you hold a valid U.S. visa (J-1) in your passport, you will not need any additional visas to travel to Mexico. Au pairs in their second year who want to travel to Mexico may need to obtain a tourist visa in advance from a Mexican consulate in the United States. You should have at least six months of validity left on your passport in order to apply for a visitor’s visa to Mexico.

Check here for the consulate closest to you. Contact them as far in advance as possible to find out if you need a visa and how long it will take to get one.

Extension Au Pairs: In your extension year, travel outside the U.S. is restricted. Please contact me before making any plans to travel outside the U.S. in your extension year.

Have a great trip!

Photo – 7th Groove {flickr}

What Does an Au Pair Actually Do?

 

Spencer Means

This is NOT a comprehensive list.  If additional clarification is required, please contact Cynthia.  The best matches follow the Host Family / Au Pair Agreement.

DO NOT negotiate outside of the State Department Guidelines.

The Au Pair’s top priority is the care and safety of your children –

everything else will be a lower priority!

Within Au Pair Program Expectations Outside Au Pair Program Expectations
Child Care Activities

  •  Wake children
  • Dress children
  •  Feed children
  •  Play with children
  • Prepare meals for children
  • Bath children
  • Keep children clean and safe
  • Organize play groups
  • Supervise homework
  • Care for children during travel
  • Grocery shopping as needed (shouldn’t be the sole person)

Light Child Related Housekeeping

  • Make children’s bed
  • Change/wash children’s sheets
  • Pick up toys
  • Straighten children’s room
  • Clean up kitchen after children’s room (sweep, Swiffer mop)
  • Straighten/organize playroom
  • Wipe down children’s bathroom
  • Wash/put away children’s laundry
  • Tidy up after children
  • Help in preparation and clean up of family meals or other activities

Flexible Schedule

  • Flexible schedule (at least one week schedule in advance needed)
  • Available for sick days, snow days, and holidays

Au pair’s total hours worked per week revised to reflect unexpected changes in schedule.

Driving

  • Drive children to and from school
  • Drive children to and from appointments
  • Drive children to activities

Treat your Au Pair as a Family Member –

 this is a Cultural Exchange Program!

 

Housework

  • Mop and vacuum entire house
  • Scrub children’s bathroom
  • Dust entire house
  • Clean windows
  • Wash/put away laundry for adult family members
  • Housework unrelated to children
  • Prepare dinner for entire family daily
  • Pick up dry cleaning for adult family members
  • Housecleaning on Monday – if toy pick up and kitchen were left untidy by family over weekend
  • Sole responsibility for family chores:  garbage, recycling, mail, empty/load dishwasher, grocery shopping.

Au Pair Schedule

  • Hours can’t be carried over week to week

Work >45 hours per week/  > 10 hours per day for additional pay

Other Children

  • Request au pair to care for children not listed on the  APIA contract (family or friends)
  • Request an au pair to organize play dates with children she is not comfortable supervising  Parent of the play date friend should be available to au pair if needed

Pet Care

  • Request au pair to care for pets on “free time”
  • Request an au pair to train a
  • Request an au pair to care for pets over family holiday while she stays at the house

Age Limit

  • Request and au pair to prepare meals, laundry or chore for children over the age of 18.

Driving

  • Request au pair to serve as a driving teacher or serve as a responsible adult for non licensed driver
  • Charge au pair maintenance of car (Federal Mileage Calculation not applicable.

Au Pair should NOT be considered a Maid, Cook, Landscaper,  Domestic Servant or Pet Sitter

Avoiding Homesickness this Holiday Season

Homesickness can be a problem during the holidays, even if it hasn’t been at any other time of the year. Au pairs often miss their friends and family, familiar places and their own traditions and customs. The holiday activities in the United States seem, and may actually be, different just at a time when an au pair would welcome something familiar. 

It is common for au pairs’ emotions to be close to the surface during the holidays. Her highs are higher, her lows are lower. The enormity of what she has done–actually living in another country (which is an amazing thing when you think about it!)–hits her and throws her into a self-protective mode.

Host parents can help her through this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be (gifts, meals, visitors, religious services, in-home traditions, or none of these, as the case may be.) In the spirit of cultural exchange, ask her if she has any favorite holiday traditions or foods that you might be able to incorporate into your family’s celebration of the season. Let her know what you will be doing, when you will be doing it, and what she can expect. Talk to her about what has to be accomplished and get her involved and interested. Don’t expect her to just “know” what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed upon assignments. Make her feel a part of things. And, let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.

Photo: Sheila Sund (Flickr)

5 Thanksgiving Tips for Au Pairs & Host Parents

Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November each year. Even though a few other countries also celebrate Thanksgiving, it’s still considered a uniquely American holiday, one that the au pairs look forward to experiencing. You can learn more about it here.

I really enjoyed Thanksgiving with my host family. It was as I imagined! So much food to try. Everyone got dressed up and shared what they were thankful for. It was so warm and special. The next day we began to prepare for Christmas. It was magical.” Selina from Germany

Below you will find some tips to help you have a terrific Thanksgiving experience.

 

Host Parents

1.  Please plan to include your au pair in your Thanksgiving celebration, if at all possible. Thanksgiving with an au pair offers an opportunity to consider the relevance of the history and meaning of Thanksgiving as you compare the hospitality offered by the Native Americans to the recently arrived Pilgrims and the hospitality you offer your au pair.

2.  If you are traveling or will not be able to invite your au pair to join you for Thanksgiving, give her plenty of notice and help her make alternate plans. You don’t want to leave your au pair alone over the holiday.

Au Pairs

3.  If you are invited to attend dinner, please let your family know within 5 days of the invitation, whether you are planning to attend. It is considered rude in America to accept the invitation for dinner and then change your mind later in the month. Please be thoughtful.

4.  Make sure to discuss time off during this holiday weekend. Many host families work the Friday after Thanksgiving so do not assume you have this day off or the entire weekend. Talk to your host family, BEFORE you make any plans.

5.  If your host family is unable to include you in their Thanksgiving plans, please let me know if you have trouble making other plans. You may be able to join a friend and their host family for the holiday dinner.

Bonus Tip for the Kids

If you are looking for a fun recipe to make with your au pair, check out these turkey cupcakes. Find more fun activities and recipes on the Au Pair in America Fall Holidays pinboard.

Photo: Tim Sackton (Flickr)

Going Unplugged During Work Hours

Phones, tablets, and laptops are wonderful tools to stay connected and informed, but we need to be careful not to let them become distractions from real life interactions and most importantly our responsibilities.

Au Pairs – Imagine for a moment that you went to the hospital and you were in the care of doctors and nurses.  How would you feel if those doctors and nurses who were there to care for you were more interested in texting or using their personal computer than caring for you?  How would that make you feel, about yourself and about them?  Would you think that you were getting the treatment you deserved?  Would you feel like paying the bill after your stay?

Life as an au pair, it is a fine balance between employee and family member. You live with your host family and participate with them as a member of the family, but you also have clear responsibilities as a childcare provider. Being a childcare provider is truly one of the most important jobs I can think of, because you are helping to shape our next generation.  What message are you sending them when you would rather interact with a computer than with them? How will they feel about themselves and about you? Children feel as though everything is about them. They will see this as a rejection of them and they will be more likely to act out.

It also poses a safety concern when you are not paying enough attention to the children in your care.  Accidents happen, but when an adult care giver is close by and appropriately supervising the chances of a major injury dramatically reduce.

During work hours, the following would not be considered acceptable:
-Texting*
-Talking to friends on the phone
-Chatting with friends online
-Using Skype or FaceTime
-IMing
-Emailing
-Updating your status on Facebook
-Using Snapchat, WhatsApp or any other app or social media site
-Watching videos on YouTube
-Tweeting on Twitter
-Uploading photos on Instagram
-Anything else on the computer unless it is going to Nickjr.com together with your host children

*You do want to be on the look out for texts from your host parents

Think about this — even if you work 45 hours a week, that leaves you 123 hours per week for all of that other stuff, or about 70 hours (if you are getting the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night.)

Host Parents – You need to be clear about what you consider acceptable during work hours to avoid misunderstandings.  Also, please understand that you are dealing with a new generation of people who are very accustomed to being plugged in at all times.  Their intention is not to be rude, they don’t necessarily realize how their actions will be perceived.  Please use this information as an opportunity to begin a dialogue on the issue.

  -Content by C. Connally

Preventing Dehydration in Hot Weather

Dehydration means that the body lacks the necessary amount of fluid. Infants and small children are more likely to become dehydrated than older children or adults, because they can lose relatively more fluid quickly.

Here are some steps to take to make sure children remain hydrated in the summer months:

  • Encourage your child to drink plenty of water. On hot days, children should drink significantly more water than usual, as they are losing more due to the heat.
  • Do not wait until your child is thirsty to give him water. By the time they feel thirsty, they are already becoming dehydrated.
  • If your child is resistant to drinking enough water, have other liquids on hand for your child to drink throughout the day.
  • Be alert to changes in behavior. A child may act confused or more irritable when they are becoming dehydrated/overheated. Get them into cooler temperatures and drinking more fluids.
  • Dress your child in lightweight clothing in the summer months, particularly if she’ll be playing outdoors in warm weather. You may also consider clothes that are well ventilated as they do not trap heat close to the body.
  • When there are heat and/or air quality advisories because the weather is dangerously hot, you should avoid taking the children outdoors. Check with your host parents for further guidance on this topic.

Remember to follow these tips for yourself too, so you stay well hydrated.

Photo: Darwin Bell (Flickr)

Holiday & Vacation Reminders

“Rest and be thankful.” – William Wordsworth

Holidays and vacations are a great opportunity to rest, recharge and explore the U.S.

Memorial Day Weekend is the unofficial start of summer travel season. Here are some reminders about program rules regarding holidays and vacations.

Holidays

  • Host families are not required to give au pairs any specific holidays.
  • Each host family will make different arrangements on holidays, some au pairs will be off and others will be required to work.
  • Au pairs should not make plans for holidays without checking with your host family first.

Vacations

  • Au pairs earns 2 weeks of paid vacation during the course of her year.
  • Vacation time should be mutually agreed upon.
  • All vacation should be preplanned (at least 4 weeks in advance.)
  • All au pair’s friends and/or family visits/vacations should be pre-approved prior to purchasing tickets.
  • If an au pair travels with her host family, it should be discussed in advance whether this is the au pair’s vacation or if she is working.
  • If an au pair travels with the host family to work, the host family is required to pay for her transportation, lodging and meals.

Important: If an au pair is traveling outside of the U.S., she must have her DS2019 signed (travel validation) PRIOR to her departure from the US. More information about this may be found here on the Au Pair in America website.

Photo: torbakhopper (Flickr)

Handling Expenses

Host parents often ask for suggestions on how best to handle common expenses that occur as au pairs are caring for the children.

Miscellaneous Expenses

There are different ways to handle the little day to day expenses that come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for these types of expenses. Others give their au pair a prepaid debit card for this purpose. Below are some suggestions for avoiding problems with expenses.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas and Fare Cards 

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs: to and from classes, cluster meetings and when driving the kids.

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

Photo: Andrea Travillian