Category Archives: Blog

Tips for understanding how holiday time can affect an Au pair.

Holiday Season in the USA will be a very special time for your family and Au pair.  It can also be a time when the Au Pair may need a little extra support. Consider these tips:

                                               

  • Missing Home
Certain people and places are missed and our traditions and activities seem “different” right at a time when an Au Pair would welcome something familiar. My observation has been that an Au
Pair’s emotions are close to the surface during the holidays. The enormity of this year away from
home hits her and sometimes throws her into a self-protective mode. You can help her through
this unfamiliar territory by talking to her about what your specific family activities will be (when
the candles will be lit, the stockings hung, the gifts exchanged, the meals prepared and eaten, the
relatives arriving, etc.) An especially thoughtful touch is to ask her if she has any favorite holiday foods or
traditions that could be incorporated into your celebration.
  • What are your expectations?       
Talk to your Au Pair specifically about what has to be accomplished. This will help to get her involved and interested. Remember her mother has probably taken this responsibility in previous years so don’t expect her to just “know” what needs to be done. Give her some clear, agreed-upon assignments, make her feel a part of things and let her know her contribution is needed and appreciated.
  • Discuss the change in routine and roles 
The parents are home and this is unsettling to the children as well as to the Au Pair. Some different work expectations may be needed since the kids may prefer to hover around the parents. This can make an Au Pair feel unwanted and unsure of what is expected of her. If she is thrown off balance she may not see other things she can do instead of the usual. The high emotions and energy of the kids at this time of year seem like craziness to her. Assure her that things are temporary and will be back to normal soon! Suggest things she can
do to help and encourage her to roll with the punches and just enjoy the general fuss. And host parents need to remember that no matter how stressful those long holiday days are, the rules of how many hours an Au pair can work are mandated by the State Department. No Au pair is allowed to work more than 10 hours each day or left in sole charge of the children for more than 10 hours.
  • Only in America!
The number of gifts given to the children and the excesses we enjoy with gifts, food, and decorations are overwhelming to most Au Pairs. This often causes them to withdraw as they attempt to catch their breath and to evaluate the differences.
  • New Year’s Eve in the USA
Socially you should remember the holidays are a time when Au Pairs want, and need, to be with their friends. This helps their survival mechanism when they are missing old friends back home. New Year’s Eve, especially in America, is a special occasion to an Au Pair so open communication is very important as you decide on New Year’s Eve plans. If possible, use a different babysitter on this important night for her.

Halloween Safety Tips For Au Pairs.

HALLOWEEN SAFETY

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Safety is a very important issue for Halloween. For Au Pairs some issues may not have been encountered before. Here are some reminders to help make this holiday fun and safe.
This is the most popular holiday for children who are able to go from door to door showing off their choice of costume for this year, and collecting candy from the neighbors.
Things to consider:
-Children should always be supervised by an adult when going “Trick or Treating”.
-Small children should not be allowed to run ahead or behind the Au Pair. Talk to the host parents to find out if holding the child’s hand is necessary.
-Only go to those homes that are known in the neighborhood to be safe participants.
-Never let a child go inside the neighbor’s home unless you know the person.
Halloween
-Always check the candy before letting the children eat it. Make sure that anything that has been unwrapped, homemade or just does not look safe is thrown away. Ask host parents to assist with deciding about the safety of a particular candy.
–When driving please slow down, as there will be a lot of children out in the dark. They may not be visible.
-Talk to the children about safety during Halloween. (crossing the street, talking to strangers, and waiting until their candy is checked before they eat it).
-Children may want to use a flashlight to see in the dark, this is also a good way for them to be seen by drivers. BE prepared with flashlights and batteries.
Have a reflective pin, necklace or headpiece so that the children can be seen by drivers.
-If you have any safety concerns, talk to the parents.
-Ask the parents about rules for candy consumption for the children. Most parents will not want their children to gorge themselves with a lot of candy at one time. Usually, parents will let children have a couple of pieces a day.
-Enjoy yourself. Halloween is a fun holiday for adults too! You may want to dress up with the children.
Here’s how to make a costume!
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/halloween-ideas/g2750/easy-last-minute-halloween-costumes-diy/?slide=71
Don’t forget to take lots of photos to share with our cluster.
Written by ALowery ATE cluster GA.

Halloween

 

Welcome to Camp Au Pair in America!

When kids are out of school for the summer, it doesn’t take long for them to become bored and sometimes that leads to sibling squabbles and mischief. Even though they don’t realize it, they are usually missing routine and predictability in their daily schedule. One solution is to make fun plans to keep them busy! 

Each week this summer we will share a different Camp Au Pair theme. These weekly themes are designed to give you ideas to keep your host kids occupied and engaged all summer long. They will also be learning. (But shhhh, don’t tell them that part.) Check back each Friday, for the next week’s theme. This gives you a chance to make plans and gather materials for the next week. For each theme there will be crafts, games, snacks and activities. You can just use these ideas or add your own and customize the themes to fit the ages and interests of your host children.

Here are the themes you can look forward to:

  • Nature Exploration
  • Art Experiences
  • Under the Sea
  • Science (STEM)
  • Bugs & Butterflies
  • Cars and Trucks
  • Backyard Safari
  • Dinosaurs
  • Explore the World
  • Outer Space
  • Pirate Adventures
  • Princesses & Knights

Check out Summer Fun & Summer Holidays pin boards for even more ideas.

If you get some great pictures doing these activities with your host kids, please send those to your community counselor. We love to share your accomplishments and inspire other au pairs!

Let’s make this an amazing summer!

How do you talk about something that is concerning you with your host family?

Tips for Communication During Conflict with Your Host Family.

How you approach an issue of concern with your host family will often determine the outcome. A thoughtful, respectful approach will prompt success, but an aggressive, demanding conversation is likely to harm your relationship. American culture is supportive of positive solution-focused communication. Talking about concerns is hard, but well worth the effort.

  1. Talk in person/ face to face: texts and chats can be misunderstood. Our body language helps us to succeed in communication. Respect the family’s privacy. AVOID talking/texting negatively about the family with a neighbor, family friend, or another family relative.
  2. Choose a good time to talk: Ask for a time to talk when the other person can hear you and you will have enough time to get to the resolution. AVOID catching the host parents on their way out of the door or after a long day at work. Wait until you are calm.
  3. Are you doing your best? Before bringing a concern into a conversation with your host parents, think through your role in their family. It may pay off to build your relationship first. Ask yourself: have I demonstrated my value to the family dynamic? Being able to demonstrate through your behavior that you are… trustworthy, safe, use good judgment, prioritize your Au pair schedule, dependable…. will serve to help you in the discussion about your concern.
  4. Plan: Think about what you want to say ahead of time. State clearly about one problem and how it affects you. Do some research with your CC. Ask for information about program rules and norms. Be realistic.
  5. Listen: Give the other person a chance to tell their side of the concern completely. AVOID interrupting to defend yourself. Really try to hear from their perspective. Let the other person know you want to understand from their side, and you would be happy if they could see your perspective too.
  6. Role model that YOU are listening too: You may not agree with the other perspective. Tell the other person you see that your behavior affected them or the importance of what you are now asking for. For example: “I see that when I was 30 minutes late, it made my host child feel scared and it lead you to think that I did not prioritize my au pair role.” State that you are glad that this information is being discussed together and that you are happy that it will make your relationship with the family better. You really want to find a solution and appreciate the feedback.
  7. Give Information but stay on track: AVOID letting the conversation move to a general discussion of your unhappiness. Be specific. If you are saying a lot of different instances for example” when you were late last week …and when you said I cannot take the car… and when the children yelled at me…. and I had to take the dog out too… and then you didn’t ask me to go with you all to get an ice-cream.” it will be hard to single out a solution!
  8. Talk about your perspective: Avoid telling the other person how they are or are not, feeling. This can make them angry or offended.  Making them angry is not an effective way to find a solution together. It is ok to talk about how the behavior made you feel. Talk about the most difficult things. If you are not able to get them out in the open during this conversation, no solution can be made. For example: “When you don’t involve me in your plans outside my work schedule, it makes me feel like an employee not really an important part of your family.”
  9. What is the solution? Americans have a saying: “don’t be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution.” How do you see a solution for the concern? Be specific:” I would feel better about my relationship with the family if you did ask me sometimes to go with you. I understand you are not able to ask me every time. I would appreciate occasionally being asked to join in the family fun times”.
  10. Follow-through: The hardest work is over! You have successfully talked through a concern and made it to the end with a solution in place. Agree to set up regular talks that both parties can express a concern and move through the steps you have taken today to make your relationship the best that it can be! Yes, it might feel awkward today, but soon your relationship with the host family will be better than ever!

Camp Au Pair In America

 

Keeping kids busy and active is the key to success for those long summer days!

When kids are out of school for the summer, it doesn’t take long for them to become bored. Boredom leads to sibling squabbles and mischief! Children don’t realize how much they miss the routine and predictability in their daily schedule. One solution is to make fun plans to keep them busy! Make Camp Au Pair!

Have a ready list of easy, fun activities that you can do with your host children. Get prepared for the upcoming week by getting a list of what is needed and asking the host parents for help in purchasing your supplies.
Use your Au Pair In America resources to find activities and ideas. Check your Au Pair portal  for “150 Things to Do with Children”. This is jammed with super ideas.

My favorite outside activity is making super planet size bubbles, using a homemade bubble recipe. Ask your host dad to bend wire coat hangers into large circles with a handle. Outside on the driveway, pour the bubble mix into a shallow dish large enough for the circular coat hanger. A clean trash can lid works great. See how large you get can your bubbles to float!

Create your own bubble solution by gently combining 1 cup dish soap, 1 tbsp glycerine and 4 cups water in a large bucket.

Check out Au Pair in America’s Pinterest pages; Summer Fun & Summer Holidays pin boards for even more ideas.

10 fun ideas:
1.Dance-Put on classical music and move like trees or animals!
2.Cook-Freeze juice and make yummy popsicles!
3.Craft-Make a craft out of leftover Popsicle sticks or shells from the beach trip.
4.Make a tent-Use the Kitchen table and a sheet to make a cool place to get out of the sun on a hot day!
5.Dress up-Be Super man or a princess! Have fun pretending.
6. Chalk on the driveway-Endless fun with drawing pictures and hopscotch!
7.Balls-Make up a new  game outside with the ball or just toss or kick
8.Read out loud and use funny voices to make all the characters come alive!
9.Bird watch-See how many kinds of birds you can find in your back yard. Look them up on Google to identify what kind of bird it is. Have a bird watch every day to keep track of them    10. Plant a sunflower– Plant seeds in a super, sunny place and water it every day!

Tips For Communicating About Problems  With Your Host Family.

Tips For Communicating About Problems  With Your Host Family.

How you approach an issue of concern with your host family will often determine the outcome. A thoughtful, respectful approach will prompt success, but an aggressive, demanding conversation is likely to harm your relationship. American culture is supportive of positive solution-focused communication. Talking about concerns is hard, but well worth the effort.

  1. Talk in person/ face to face: texts and chats can be misunderstood. Our body language helps us to succeed in communication. Respect the family’s privacy. AVOID talking/texting negatively about the family with a neighbor, family friend, or other family relatives.
  2. Choose a good time to talk: Ask for a time to talk when the other person can hear you and you will have enough time to get to the resolution. AVOID catching the host parents on their way out of the door or after a long day at work. Wait until you are calm.
  3. Are you doing your best? Before bringing a concern into a conversation with your host parents, think through your role in their family. It may pay off to build your relationship first. Ask yourself: have I demonstrated my value to the family dynamic? Being able to demonstrate through your behavior that you are… trustworthy, safe, use good judgment, prioritize your Au pair schedule, dependable…. will serve to help you in the discussion about your concern.
  4. Plan: Think about what you want to say ahead of time. State clearly about one problem and how it affects you. Do some research with your CC. Ask for information about program rules and norms. Be realistic.
  5. Listen: Give the other person a chance to tell their side of the concern completely. AVOID interrupting to defend yourself. Really try to hear from their perspective. Let the other person know you want to understand from their side, and you would be happy if they could see your perspective too.
  6. Role model that YOU are listening: You may not agree with the other perspective. Tell the other person you see that your behavior affected them or the importance of what you are now asking for. For example: “I see that when I was 30 minutes late, it made my host child feel scared and it lead you to think that I did not prioritize my au pair role.” State that you are glad that this information is being discussed together and that you are happy that it will make your relationship with the family better. You really want to find a solution and appreciate the feedback.
  7. Give Information but stay on track: AVOID letting the conversation move to a general discussion of your unhappiness. Be specific. If you are saying” when you were late last week …and when you said I cannot take the car… and when the children yelled at me…. and I had to take the dog out too… and then you didn’t ask me to go with you all to get ice cream.” it will be hard to single out a solution!
  8. Talk about your perspective: Avoid telling the other person how they are or are not, making them angry is not an effective way to find a solution together. It is ok to talk about how the behavior made you feel. Talk about the most difficult things. If you are not able to get them out in the open during this conversation, no solution can be made. For example: “When you don’t involve me in your plans outside my work schedule, it makes me feel like an employee not really an important part of your family.”
  9. What is the solution? Americans have a saying: “don’t be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution.” How do you see a solution for the concern? Be specific:” I would feel better about my relationship with the family if you did ask me sometimes to go with you. I understand you are not able to ask me every time. I would appreciate occasionally being asked to join in the family fun times”.
  10. Follow-through: The hardest work is over! You have successfully talked through a concern and made it to the end with a solution in place. Agree to set up regular talks that both parties can express a concern and move through the steps you have taken today to make your relationship the best that it can be!

Understanding your Au Pair Insurance 2020 and 2021 arrivals

Understanding your Au Pair Insurance for 2020 and 2021 arrivals 
* Depending on your country of origin, you may have some differences in your benefits. This is a summary of the basic plan. Go to your Au pair portal to confirm which insurance plan you have. 
  • Before it becomes an emergency, google where is the closest CVS minute clinic to me! If you do not have a medical condition that is life-threatening, CVS minute clinics and Walgreens stores are great choices for medical care.  These clinics do not require an appointment and are open early and late.
  • Little symptoms can become big emergencies. Don’t risk your Au Pair experience by waiting until you are extremely ill before seeking medical advice.
  • If you have more than a small medical issue, call your insurance company to discuss your benefits and options before incurring a large medical bill that you will have to pay.  (800) 303-8120,  prompt 5 or 203-399-5130 or email claimhelp@culturalinsurance.com
  • Hospital Emergency rooms are for life-threatening conditions only. An additional 500.00 deductible will be charged to you if you do not have a life-threatening emergency. When in doubt go to a CVS minute clinic. You will not have to pay the additional ER deductible if you are directed by a medical professional to go to an ER.
  • Download your insurance card. Keep your insurance card with you at all times Or, have the mobile app on your phone with myCISI phone app for iphone or android.
  • You can go into your Au Pair Insurance portal to print out a new card with your host family’s address on it. Make an account and save your password. Or, you can use the mobile app on your phone to do this.
  • https://www.mycisi.com/CISIPortalWeb/pub/login.aspx?PT=GENr
  • The basic plan of insurance will have a 50.00 deductible for each sickness or injury. There will be a co-pay amount you will pay for your care and a percentage of the cost of the service.  The insurance will determine what is the usual and customary charge for the service you received.
  • Be prepared by saving up two weeks’ stipend to cover any medical cost.
  • If you pay for medical care or prescription medicine, you can fill out a claim form and mail it in to get CISI to pay you their portion (once you have met your deductible). A claim form can be found on the mycisi portal.
  • Use Well RX to lower your prescription cost. https://www.wellrx.com/prescription-discount-card/
  • Au Pairs do not have dental insurance (with exception of the upgraded medical policy which does have a 500.00 pain relief benefit).  Avoid crunching on hard food or candy!!
  • Read about sports insurance upgrade to determine if this will help you. If you are injured during a sporty activity- the insurance may not cover it. This can be found on your MyCISI portal.
  • Routine wellness checks and vaccinations are not covered under CISI. Before getting a vaccine, ask if there is a charge to administer the shot and what your cost will be.
  • Birth Control pills and routine GYN visits are not covered by CISi. Consider your local health department or Planned Parenthood as a good option for these services.

Look BEFORE you LOCK

LOOK BEFORE YOU LOCK! Prevent hot car deaths!
Tragically, every year children die in cars.
This can easily happen to caregivers who forget the child is sleeping in the rear seat. It also happens when caregivers intentionally leave a child in a  parked car for ” just a second” to run an errand.
In the state of Georgia, it is a crime to leave a child in a parked car or a car with the engine running- even for a second. 
A child can die when their body temperature reaches 107 degrees.
This can happen when the temperature is only 70 degrees and the child is left for 15 minutes!! It is much hotter in Georgia.
In 2020, 25 children died of vehicular heatstroke.
In 2018 and 2019, we saw a record number of hot car deaths — 53 children died each year — the most in at least 20 years, according to NoHeatstroke.org.
Some children were accidentally left in the car and others were left for just a small amount of time while the caregiver went into a house or store.
Everyone Can Help Prevent Hot Car Deaths
1. Never leave a child in a vehicle unattended — even if the windows are partially open or the engine is running, and the air conditioning is on.
2. Make it a habit to check your entire vehicle — front and back — before locking the door and walking away. Train yourself to Park, Look, Lock, or always ask yourself, “Where’s Baby?”
3. Place a personal item like a purse or briefcase in the back seat, as another reminder to look before you lock. Write a note or place a stuffed animal in the passenger’s seat to remind you that a child is in the back seat.
4. Store car keys out of a child’s reach and teach children that a vehicle is not a play area.
Everyone — Including Bystanders can prevent this from happening.
Always lock your car doors and trunk, year-round, so children can’t get into unattended vehicles.
Act Fast. Save a Life.
If you see a child alone in a locked car, get them out immediately and call 911. A child in distress due to heat should be removed from the vehicle as quickly as possible and rapidly cooled.
Click this link and watch the video to see what happens when a child is left in a car.
https://www.nhtsa.gov/campaign/heatstroke
Prevent Heatstroke Deaths in Cars, Kids Are Vulnerable | NHTSA
NHTSA.GOV
Prevent Heatstroke Deaths in Cars, Kids Are Vulnerable | NHTSA
A child’s body temperature rises faster than an adult’s. Learn more facts and the steps to take so your child isn’t left in the backseat of a hot car.
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APIA program outcomes Study-How the Au pair program affected Adult Children from Former Host Families.

 

 

 

How the Au pair program affected Adult Children from Former Host Families.

(Excerpted from Au Pair in America Program Outcomes- Perspectives of Host Children 1999-2017)

 

Cassie Heine and Catie Steidl, AIFS program Researchers stated:

“The host children love and learned from their Au pairs. As a result, their eyes were open to the world beyond the doorsteps of their home.”

 Catie “When children are raised to think of cross-cultural understanding, interaction and the embrace of difference and diversity as the norm, they are guaranteed to grow into similarly tolerant young people and adults who are interested in and enthusiastic about the positive aspects of cultural understanding.”

The impact Statistics gained from surveying 4000 former host children now age 21 or older:

An ability to accept differences in other people- 88%

An appreciation for global cuisine- 81%

A desire for more diverse friendships and social networks-71%

A better understanding of myself and my values- 71%

The Au pair affected their lives in a positive way- 99%

Would you have an Au pair care for your children- 94%

I consider the Au pair who lived with us to be like family-92%

 62% of adult children of APIA can comfortably hold a conversation in a different language. Only 26% of American-born citizens can do this.

College-age children of APIA were 7x more likely to study abroad.

 Quotes from former host children:

Caitlin Age 25 New Jersey:

“They broadened my horizons and showed me that people everywhere live different and interesting, but equally beautiful lives. Through them I learned about different languages, food, architecture, and displays of friendship. I wanted to know more about people, and I wanted to go on adventures because of them.”

Madeleine, age 26 Massachusetts

“I attended my former Au pairs weddings. I’ve met their parents, and their children. To me, to everyone in my family, they are Family. I feel like they will stay that way for the rest of my life.”

Are you feeling a little homesick? Tips to overcome and make this year great!

Feeling homesick is a normal feeling when you first arrive as an Au pair. YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT! It just takes a little time and some effort on your part. Tell yourself that you can live with being uncomfortable for a short time. Trust yourself that you made the right decision. Trust me when I say it will get better and your whole year is ahead of you. Fun times and lifetime friends await you. GO GET THEM!

Almost everyone experiences homesickness and culture shock to some degree when they come to live in a completely new environment. So much is different and it takes time to adjust.

It is normal to miss your own family, at home. Try to remember that they support you and want you to make the most of this experience. Your family and friends back home will enjoy learning more about the U.S., through your eyes, as you share your adventures with them.

Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are lots of new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try to lessen your contact by every other day and slowly to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Attend your zoom cluster meetings! Ask your host family how you can be social with other Au pairs outside of their home. Perhaps you can have coffee or meet outside with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes”. Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and the vast majority of them get through it, stay and have a successful year (some even extend for a second year!) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)