Tag Archives: tips

Guests – Think Carefully Before Asking…

It is important to think carefully before asking your host parents to allow you to invite guests, especially friends of family who may come stay for a week or more.

There are many host families who would not feel comfortable with allowing that and will say no. If they say no, you need to do your best to accept that and not pout or have a bad attitude about it.  Remember, it is their home and when they invited you to join them, they were not planning on turning it into a youth hostel.

There are others who might not feel comfortable, but they want to be kind, so they say yes. In those situations, it can hurt your relationship, because they may resent being put in that position.  You may get to have your friend come stay with you, but if it hurts your relationship with your host family and leads to a rematch, is that worth it?

There are a small number of families that are happy to allow you to welcome guests throughout the year and have no problem with it. That is a very small number and if your host family is one of them, show them how much you appreciate it their hospitality.

Also, consider how you plan to account for your time during the visit? Will you use your vacation time or do you plan to work and just visit on your off hours?  If you plan to work, keep in mind that during work hours childcare should remain your number one focus.  I have seen situations where au pairs are too excited about their guest to do their job as well as they normally would.  In those cases, the family is giving up a lot.  They are allowing guests to stay in their home and accepting a lower level of work performance during the visit.  Be aware of that and do your best to carry out your duties and show your host parents that you appreciate their actions.

If you are working during the visit, one way you can avoid letting your work slide, is to encourage your guests to go out and do things while you are working.  Since you are familiar with the area you have been living in, you can act as a tour guide.  Give them information on places that you have visited with other au pairs and maybe gone for cluster meetings.  Since you have already seen these places, you will not be missing out, if they go there while you are working.  Then, you are free to visit new places with them in your off hours.

Remember – honest communication, flexibility, gratitude and consideration will make all the difference when dealing with your host parents on inviting guests.

Personal Safety – On the Street

These tips are not intended to scare you, but to make you aware of some simple things you can do to prevent being the victim of a crime.

  • Pay attention to what is going on around you and be aware of people near you.
  • Don’t hitchhike (means getting a ride with strangers.)
  • Be very careful using outside ATMs at night or in unfamiliar surroundings.
  • When walking, face the oncoming traffic. It will be harder for someone to pull you into a car and abduct you. You can also see cars coming in your lane.
  • Tell someone where you’ll be and what time you’re supposed to return, or if you will be with someone you don’t know well.
  • Don’t overload yourself with packages. If you must have your hands full, visualize how you would respond if approached, how you would get your hands free, etc.
  • Don’t wear music headphones while walking or jogging.
  • Don’t read while walking or standing on the street.
  • If you wear a purse with a shoulder strap, be prepared to let it go if snatched. Otherwise you may be hurt if the mugger knocks you down and drags you while fleeing with your purse.

Handling Expenses

Miscellaneous Expenses

At a recent new host family orientation, we discussed different ways to handle the little expenses that may come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for this kind of expenses.  Here are some suggestions for avoiding problems with that.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas and Fare Cards

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs:

  • to and from classes and cluster meetings
  • driving the kids

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

Communicate with Your Host Parents

  • Share your ideas, discuss cultural differences and ask questions if you don’t understand.
  • If you have a problem, clearly and calmly present it to your host parents.  Suggest a solution, listen and try to reach a compromise.
  • Let your host family know if language is a problem.  If you don’t understand a word, ask questions.   That one word could make a big difference in what they are trying to tell you.

Interviewing Au Pairs – English Proficiency

When you are interviewing au pair candidates, you need to be certain that the level of English is good enough for you to communicate.  It is normally easier to communicate in person than on the phone, but don’t assume that it will be.  Be sure that you could deal with the au pair’s level of English if she arrived and it was exactly as it was on the phone.

Keep in mind that the interviewer who is evaluating the au pair’s English proficiency is probably not a native English speaker.  Therefore, his or her idea of good may not match up with yours.