Yearly Archives: 2015

Saying goodbye….

Beautiful girl, you can do hard things.

Today I did what I have done many times before – I said goodbye to yet another extraordinary young woman. She had finished her time here as an au pair and she was heading home. Home to familiar faces and lots of new experiences. We sat having coffee for one last time, reflecting on her experiences in the US and discussed the new opportunities she would be embarking on. Some exciting, some a bit scary, one thing was clear…she was forever changed during her time here in the US. She had traveled, studied, grown in her independence, made a bunch of amazing friends from all over the world and learned a lot about herself in the process. She has made a close connection with two host families, a life long kind of connection.  She made a connection with me.

Tonight as I watched an amazing sunset, I reflected on what my role is in this process for the au pair.  Many have said I am like a second mom to them, others consider me a friend, some have more of a distant, casual relationship. I am good with any one of these.  I have the privilege of helping them in a small portion of their journey. I can support and encourage and educate them. I can provide them with opportunities to explore the US and it’s customs, foods, cultures. We can share idioms and find common ground. I personally love to watch these amazing young women transform literally before my eyes. They do not leave the same. They all grow and change and experience.

I’ve sat with young women who are suffering from homesickness, worry for a loved one, or are missing a special family event. I’ve shared Christmas with an au pair, I’ve tried an amazing collection of foods from other countries. I’ve watched them experience their first Halloween, their first snow (some of them), I have helped plan education and travel, offered countless hugs, sat with sick ones, held them as they cry in sadness. I have redirected, cheered, and encouraged them. I have a saying with the au pairs, Beautiful girl, you can do hard things!

I have grown and changed too. With each new au pair comes a new experience, new adventures, new cultures to learn about. I am forever changed…

Saying goodbye isn’t really goodbye. I am connected still to many of them, though we are thousands of miles apart. We have email, social media, skype, etc. I see posts and catch glimpses of their lives. For many, I am still cheering, still encouraging, still connected.

To the young woman who left today….

Beautiful girl, you can do hard things….I know today is full of conflicting emotions. You are a bit sad to leave, maybe wishing for more time, more opportunities. Excited to go home and be with your family, snuggle that new nephew, move into a flat with your best friend and follow your dreams.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life experience. It is an honor.

Au Pairs – Building Friendships & Cultural Exchange

Recently one of my au pairs shared with me some special thoughts about her year and the friendships she made with other au pairs in the cluster. She also shared about the impact of cultural exchange with au pairs from lots of different countries.  During her time in the US, Isabelle was friends with a very diverse group of young women from countries such as Germany, Austria, South Korea, France, Spain, South Africa, the UK, etc.

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“The friends you make become your family! I loved how fast you became friends since neither one of you know anybody in the beginning and were strangers to the area and even the country! You understand each others situations. We are all far away from family, friends and everything we know. I mean, not often would I go to a strangers house, pick this someone up in my car and go to a restaurant or similar without even thinking twice about who this person could be? All I know is that we are both au pairs and that kind of makes us good friends even before meeting up. What worked the absolute best for me when I got a bit of homesickness was to spend time together and come out and do stuff with friends! The best medicine!

I might add that I’ve also learned a lot about other countries through the new friends I’ve made. You don’t come to America and just learn about the American culture but also about other countries cultures! I haven’t been home for very long but I hope to be able to travel to a lot of countries one day and visit with my friends!”

-Isabelle, from Sweden

 

 

Making friends with au pairs in your cluster!

I queried several of my former au pairs on what the friendships they made here meant to them. This is from Mary Jane from Germany.

“For me, friends are a very important part in my life. They help you in bad times and celebrate the good times, so I knew before my year started it will be important to find some friends. I started looking for facebook groups from the area and already found other au pairs who are close to my host family’s place.

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When I got to the US I met up with the girls,even though they were a couple years older than me it was great that they can tell you about the area, as they see it as a foreigner. Also, other au pairs understand everyday stuff you have to deal while being an au pair pair even if you have completely different personalities, you always have something to share because you are in the same situation. That’s what brings you close, if you are open and honest for it. Its important to go out with them and explore and experience new things. Making those memories together make them even more unforgettable.


Au pairs come from all over the world, my best friends were from Sweden, New Zealand and Brazil. It was a crazy mix but you can share so much! We did cook outs where we cooked typical meals from our home country, we were trying to teach each other the language (at least some funny phrases). It really doesn’t matter where they or from, how old they are, what they studied/worked before – differences make it even more interesting. I met friends everyday: for play dates, going to the gym, movies, shopping and trips during the weekend. This is also a big advantage when your friends are also au pairs because they kinda have the same schedule and daily routine. They also understand if you just had a bad day and have to complain about everything.. The thing is, they know that you don’t always mean it when you say the kids were annoying or the host parents are bothering you, it’s completely normal that you have feelings like this even though you love your host kids and host parents.


If you want to make American friends I am sure the host parent can help you if you tell them you want them to help you.   My host parents were great friends for me and also helped me making connections with neighbors, people from their work (my age), their friends kids and whatever you can think of! Also, whenever you get out of the house you can meet people and make friends. Americans are very open and interested as soon as they notice you are from another country. So go to the park, gym, Applebee’s, Starbucks, pool, beach, mall…wherever…but GO OUT!  Even if you are shy, get out of your comfort zone, it will help you enjoying your time and having fun.


The extra bonus of making friends in the US is, you will have friends around the world who you can visit, travel, see where they really come from and get to know so many cultures!


I am back in Germany since one year now. My friend from South Africa came to visit me, I went to France to see two of my au pair friends, in a few days I am going to travel through Indonesia with an American friend and further plans are e.g. that me and two other au pairs will be the bridesmaids from an au pair friend who is back home in Brazil. Isn’t that amazing?

Sometimes it really hurts that your friends are so far away and you can’t see them very often but there is a thing called skype and who can say he/she has friends on almost every continent. Whenever I am sad about it, I just remind myself how lucky I am that I got the opportunity to meet them. Whenever I think about my time as an au pair there are so many amazing stories that come to my mind what I experienced with them!! The au pair program is an adventure and sharing it with friends made it simply perfect for me!! Having this experience together will make you remain friends forever.”

Thank you, Mary Jane!

Education Requirement – Explained

Au pairs are required to complete 6 credits or 8 CEUs or 72 or more hours.

EduCare Companions are required to complete 12 credits or 16 CEUs or 144 or more hours.

You may take credit or non-credit classes from an accredited college. Look under Resources toward the top of this page, then under “Education Options” for accredited schools in our cluster area. If you want to take a class at a school not listed here on my blog, please check with me first to make sure it is accredited. Otherwise, it would not count toward your education requirement.   education-icons

Your host family will pay an education allowance to assist you in completing your education requirement. They will also ensure your transportation to class (access to a car and gas expense will be covered). Au Pairs education allowance – $500, EduCare education allowance – $1000

There are ways to get your credits for just your education allowance, but it will not give you a lot of choices. Normally au pairs will contribute some of their own money ($200+) towards their education. I can help you plan out your year of classes to make it fun, interesting and educational!

The APIA Advantage UCLA Course is the only State Dept. approved class with an online component. No other online classes are accepted.

Note: Au pairs should only take one weekend course for their education requirement. Using only weekend courses to meet your education requirement could result in the denial of your extension application (should you decide to extend.)

Au Pair Firsts

Recently I asked my au pairs to share a favorite first. Some experience they had had in America that was meaningful, fun, surprising, etc. Here’s one to share from an au pair from Spain –

“New York City. Christmas time. Ice skating in Rockefeller Center with my boyfriend (visiting from Spain). They asked everybody to get out of the place while a couple was still skating. The girl was super nervous. #Marriedproposal First one I see out of movies. What better place to see it than NY in Christmas time, with my boyfriend! Lucky girl!! Lucky me!!!”

Jamie Pearson

Photo by Jamie Pearson

 

Summer Fun – Keeping the Kids Creating and Exploring!

Looking for some cool things to do this week with the kids? Consider some of these awesome ideas on the Au Pair In America Pinterest boards!

Ice Block Treasure Hunt 

Create a block of ice full of treasures! Plan ahead for this activity. Place the block in the sun when ready and watch the treasures “appear” as the block thaws in the sunshine! Help it along with some crab mallets!

Solar S’Mores

Try making your own solar cooker with foil and an empty pizza box. Grab your supplies, create the solar cooker and assemble the S’more supplies! Discuss what may happen, estimate how long it may take to melt the chocolate, etc.

Bubble Fun!

Grab some bubble making supplies and try these ideas! Laughter is guaranteed!

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Photo by Juan Felipe Gomez

 

You will never be completely home again…..

“You will never be completely home again, because part of you will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for loving and knowing people in more than one place!” –  Former Southern Maryland au pair

Recently, one of my previous au pairs returned to Southern Maryland to visit her  host family.  As part of a whirlwind, fun and exciting visit, they had a family portrait done on the beach. The host family, the current au pair and their previous au pair – all one big, unique family.

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This relationship (and others they have formed with au pairs over the years) idealizes the true spirit of the Au Pair in America program – cultural exchange. The cultural exchange of joining two families for a common goal. With each placement, we have the opportunity to share all that is great about America, and in turn, learn what is great about their country.

Childcare is the obvious reason that a family chooses this type of relationship, but the bigger picture of cultural exchange for them and their children is, and should be, right up there too. The most successful matches between a host family and an au pair are the ones where both sides embrace the whole spirit of the program. Where the host family believes in learning not just about the au pair’s culture but about her and her family, where they welcome her and treat her as a part of their extended family, where they encourage the au pair to have the American experience, where they offer support and guidance, but also opportunity. That is the host family who is going to have the best experience.

The au pair who arrives full of excitement and plans for an amazing experience, who is open to sharing her culture, language, foods, customs. The au pair who is diligent in her childcare duties, who eagerly becomes a part of the family and the community, looking for ways to be engaged and helpful not just at home, but in the community as well,  embracing the opportunities she can have in 52 weeks… that is the au pair who is going to succeed and have the best experience.

52 weeks to change the life of a child, a parent, an au pair. 52 weeks to make a real connection between countries and cultures. 52 weeks can become a lifelong relationship. The choice is yours. How will you spend your 52 weeks?

 

Photo: Blancastella

 

Summer Safety

During the summer months we need to take some added precautions to keep children safe in the sun and by the water. Here are some good tips:

  • Avoid long periods of sun exposure especially between 10am and 4pm
  • Apply sunscreen of at least 15 SPF that protects against both UVA and UVB rays on both sunny and cloudy days. (Host family should approve and provide the type they prefer).
  • Infants should be dressed in lightweight clothing covering as much skin as possible and brimmed hats to shade the face.
  • Stay hydrated, drink water throughout the day.
  • Intense activities and sports should be reduced whenever high heat and humidity reach critical levels.
  • NEVER leave children or animals in a car unattended. Not even for a moment. Tragic results can occur.

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  • Actively supervise children in and around the water, giving them your undivided attention. Appoint a designated “water watcher,” taking turns with other adults. Be very clear who is in charge.
  • When in the water there should be an adult at arms length from young children at all times.
  • Children who cannot swim or who are not strong swimmers should wear water wings or life jackets when in the water.
  • Swim in designated areas supervised by lifeguards.
  • Always swim with a buddy; do not allow anyone to swim alone. Even at a public pool or a lifeguarded beach, use the buddy system!
  • If you go boating, wear a life jacket!
  • Secure your personal belongings. Be aware of your surroundings.

Insects, Ticks and Snakes
Summertime brings an onslaught of bugs- some of which can cause diseases like West Nile Virus, Lyme Disease and Rocky Mount Spotted Fever. Stay up-to-date on your region and how to prevent these diseases spread by insects.

 

  • Do a tick check after being out doors.
  • Learn how to identify the poisonous snakes in your area.
  • If traveling in unfamiliar areas, be aware of where local emergency medical care can be found.

Prepare a summer first-aid kit for bug bites and more.

  • Benadryl is probably the most important over-the-counter medication to have in your first aid kit to treat insect bites, hives, and other allergic reactions. Include dosing instructions for each child.
  • Hydorcortisone ointment can help the itches that come from bites.
  • Use bug spray containing DEET or picaridin (ask your Host Parents what they want you to use)
  • Simple antibiotic ointment or spray
  • Bandages of varying sizes
  • Chemical ice packs
  • Scissors
  • Hand wipes

Emergency contact info

  • As well as the host parents numbers, au pairs should have the phone number of the Community Counselor and the Au Pair in America 800 number saved to their phones.
  • Additionally, add the non emergency numbers for the local police departments (anywhere the au pair routinely travels). This way if they need assistance they can quickly and easily dial the number.
  • If your area is served by a Code Red Weather Alert type program or a Nixle police alert program, please consider adding that as well.
  • Remind your au pairs to call immediately if there is any issue with a child in their care. Host families should make sure that au pairs know what to do if there is an emergency situation while they are in charge of the children. This is a good time of year to review any family rules that apply to summer activities especially by the pool and while at the beach.

Enjoy the summer and be safe!

Texting and Child Care

Carissa Rogers

Across the world, children are being injured at increasing rates. Many of these accidents are due to the simple fact that care providers are spending more time looking at their phones than keeping close watch on the children. In the time that it takes to look and respond to one text message, a child could sustain a serious injury. Remember to always keep close watch on the child, keep the phone in your pocket.

Please read this before you choose to text while providing care.

Photo by Carissa Rogers