Category Archives: Blog

Three Ways for Au Pairs to Stay Red Cross Ready

Being knowledgeable in basic first aid and CPR is important for au pairs (or anyone else caring for children). Au Pair in America’s commitment to infant/child safety begins before au pairs arrive in the U.S., with pre-arrival training and continues throughout the au pair year.

#1 Training At Orientation

Our orientation training includes a course by the American Red Cross on infant/child CPR and safety. Additional child safety training covers a variety of aspects of child safety and cultural differences in common childcare practices.

#2 Enroll in a Red Cross Certification Class

After settling into their host community, all au pairs are encouraged to complete an Infant/Child CPR and First Aid certification program. Au Pair in America will pay for this training through the American Red Cross.

Classes are available through the Red Cross. Au Pair in America will pay for the cost of a class provided an au pair has at least six months left on their visa and is taking one of several approved childcare/child safety-related classes, such as Adult and Pediatric First Aid/CPR/AED. Au pairs should check with their community counselor and host family before signing up. Au Pair in America will register the au pair directly.

To locate a class, visit www.redcross.org/takeaclass. Email your counselor the link to the class you have selected and they will have Au Pair in America complete registration.

#3 Stay Current on Safety Information

The official American Red Cross First Aid app puts expert advice for everyday emergencies in your hand. Available for iPhone and Android devices, this app gives you instant access to the information you need to know to handle the most common first-aid emergencies. With videos, interactive quizzes, and simple step-by-step advice, it’s never been easier to know first aid. Download the app for free from the American Red Cross website or in your app store.

SMART Goals: A Guide for Au Pairs

The establishment of learning goals in early childhood education is crucial to ensuring that host children develop the cognitive, social, and emotional skills they need for success. But how is this done?  Are my host parents involved?  Where do I start?

Goal setting helps you and your host parents stay on the same page regarding the children’s growth. By using SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—you can turn daily playtime into meaningful learning opportunities AND it offers you and your host parents another worthwhile way to connect.

1. Cognitive & Language Goals

Instead of just “playing,” focus on specific milestones that help the child’s brain develop.

  • Specific: Help the child recognize and name five colors during morning play.
  • Measurable: Identify at least three different shapes in a picture book twice a week.
  • Achievable: Practice the “ABC Song” together during bath time or car rides.
  • Relevant: Introduce three new vocabulary words related to the week’s theme (e.g., “garden,” “seed,” “flower”).
  • Time-bound: Aim for the child to master 10 new words by the end of the month.

2. Social-Emotional & Behavior Goals

Since you spend so much time in the home, you are the primary coach for the child’s social-emotional growth.

  • Specific: Practice “taking turns” with a favorite toy for 10 minutes daily.
  • Measurable: Use a sticker chart to track every time the child uses “please” and “thank you” without being reminded.
  • Achievable: Use role-play with dolls to practice expressing feelings like “I am sad” instead of crying.
  • Relevant: Help the child gain independence by teaching them to put their shoes on by themselves.
  • Time-bound: Observe a reduction in tantrums during transitions (like leaving the park) over a four-week period.

3. Motor Skills (Physical) Goals

Active play is a huge part of an au pair’s day. Use these goals to track physical milestones.

  • Specific: Practice using safety scissors to cut straight lines during craft time.
  • Measurable: Complete three “tracing” worksheets together per week to improve pencil grip.
  • Achievable: Practice jumping with both feet off the ground during outdoor play.
  • Relevant: Build hand-eye coordination by stacking a tower of 10 blocks.
  • Time-bound: Show improved coordination in “catching a ball” by the end of the summer.

How to Implement SMART Goals at Home

  1. Observe: Spend the first week watching what the child finds easy and what they struggle with.
  2. Collaborate: Share your observations with the parents. Ask, “Which of these areas should we focus on this month?”
  3. Keep a Log: Use a simple notebook or a shared app to write down small “wins” or challenges you noticed during the day.
  4. Be Flexible: Every child has “off” days. If a goal feels too hard, break it into even smaller steps.
  5. Celebrate: When the child reaches a goal, celebrate! A high-five, an extra bedtime story, or a “Great job!” goes a long way.

How to Set Boundaries with Kids as an Au Pair 

Many au pairs say one of the hardest parts of their job is managing kids’ behavior. Sometimes it feels like every day is a battle: constant negotiating, tantrums, and repeated arguments. This can be exhausting and discouraging—especially when it seems like nothing ever changes.

One big reason this happens is when kids don’t have clear limits and boundaries. Children actually feel safer and calmer when they know exactly what’s expected and what will happen if they don’t follow the rules. But setting boundaries isn’t something you can improvise in the middle of chaos—it requires being proactive, planning ahead, and sticking with your approach.

The good news? Boundary-setting is a skill you can learn and practice. Once you get comfortable with it, you’ll find that kids respect you more, there are fewer battles, and your time together becomes a lot more fun.

Why Kids Need Boundaries

As an au pair, you might feel bad about saying “no” or worry that the kids will dislike you if you’re strict. But in reality:

  • Kids want boundaries, even if they push against them.
  • Clear rules make kids feel safe and secure.
  • Boundaries make it easier for kids to know how to make you (and their parents) proud.
  • Consistent limits reduce anxiety and prevent power struggles.

Think of boundaries as showing kids: “I care about you enough to help you feel safe and in control.”

Be Proactive, Not Reactive

One of the biggest mistakes au pairs make is waiting until a problem happens to set a boundary. By then, emotions are high, and it’s harder to follow through. Instead, think ahead:

  • Plan routines in advance. Decide what the expectations are for meals, screen time, playtime, and bedtime.
  • Communicate rules before the situation starts. For example, talk about screen time limits before handing over the iPad, not after.
  • Practice consistency. If you let rules slide “just this once,” kids will learn that testing limits works.

Being proactive means, you’ll spend less time reacting to meltdowns and more time enjoying calmer days with the kids.

The 3 C’s of Boundaries

To make your limits effective, remember the 3 C’s:

  • Concrete – Be specific and clear.
  • Consistent – Stick to the rules every time.
  • Clear – Keep the rules simple so kids understand.

When you aren’t clear or consistent, you enter the “grey zone.” In this zone, kids don’t know what to expect, which leads to testing, whining, and tantrums.

Three Steps to Strong Boundaries as an Au Pair:

  1. Plan boundaries in advance – Don’t wait for problems. Think ahead about where you need limits and what you’ll say. Discuss possible consequences with your host family in advance so everyone is on board.
  2. Teach and repeat – Explain the rule to the child ahead of time and have them repeat it back so you know they understand.
  3. Follow through – Stick with the boundary every time so kids learn to trust your word.

Examples You Might Use:

Mealtime

If a child keeps leaving the table, don’t wait for dinner to turn into chaos. Instead, set the rule before the meal begins:

“From now on, when we’re eating, your bum needs to stay in your chair. If you get up, that means you’re done eating. The next time you eat will be the next meal.”

Have the child repeat the rule back, then calmly follow through every time.

Screen Time

If kids fight you every time the iPad needs to be turned off, plan a routine ahead of time:

“When the timer goes off, the device needs to be turned off. If you don’t turn it off, that means no device tomorrow.”

Again, explain this before screen time starts and repeat the rule consistently.

Homework

If kids resist doing homework, don’t wait until they’re distracted or overtired. Plan the rule in advance:

“Homework is finished before playtime. If homework isn’t done, play is postponed until tomorrow.”

Keep it short and clear, remind them ahead of time, and then stick with it every day so the expectation becomes routine.

Pro Tips for Au Pairs:

  • Think ahead about tricky situations and set rules before they happen.
  • Make sure rules are age-appropriate.
  • Be calm but firm. Kids respect confidence.
  • Avoid long lectures—short and clear rules work best.
  • Stick to routines—sleep, meals, and transitions are easier when predictable.
  • Model the behavior you expect. If you leave the table often, kids will too.

Why This Matters:

Setting proactive, fair, and consistent boundaries isn’t just about avoiding tantrums. It’s about building trust and respect between you and the kids. When kids know what to expect, they feel more secure—and you feel more confident in your role.

As an au pair, proactive boundary-setting helps you:

  • Prevent problems before they start
  • Create smoother daily routines
  • Avoid constant power struggles
  • Build mutual respect with the kids
  • Enjoy your time with them more

Remember: Boundaries aren’t about being “mean”—they’re about helping kids thrive. When you plan ahead, set clear expectations, and follow through, you’ll not only avoid daily battles but also build a stronger, happier relationship with the kids you care for.

Thanksgiving is November 28

Thanksgiving is a public holiday celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November every year in the United States. It started as a harvest festival and has been celebrated nationally on and off since 1789.  The most important part of Thanksgiving for American families is to spend family time together.

Here are some fun facts about this special holiday:

  • The first Thanksgiving was held in the autumn of 1621 and included 50 Pilgrims and 90 Wampanoag Indians and lasted three days.
  • The first Thanksgiving was eaten with spoons and knives — but no forks! Forks weren’t even introduced to the Pilgrims until 10 years later and weren’t a popular utensil until the 18th century.
  • Thanksgiving is the reason for TV dinners! In 1953, Swanson had so much extra turkey (260 tons) that a salesman told them they should package it onto aluminum trays with other sides like sweet potatoes — and the first TV dinner was invented.
  • Presidential pardon of a turkey: Each year, the president pardons a turkey and spares it from being eaten for Thanksgiving dinner. The first turkey pardon ceremony started with President Truman in 1947. President Obama pardoned a 45-pound turkey named Courage, who has flown to Disneyland and served as Grand Marshal of the park’s Thanksgiving Day parade!
  • Why is Thanksgiving the fourth Thursday in November? President Abe Lincoln said Thanksgiving would be the fourth Thursday in November, but in 1939 President Roosevelt moved it up a week hoping it would help the shopping season during the Depression era. It never caught on and it was changed back two years later.
  • How did the tradition of watching football on Thanksgiving start? The NFL started the Thanksgiving Classic games in 1920 and since then the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys have hosted games on Turkey Day. In 2006, a third game was added with different teams hosting.
  • About 90 % of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day
  • The ‘wishbone’ of the turkey is used in a good luck ritual on Thanksgiving Day.

Photo: Tim Sackton

What to Do After a Car Accident

Having a car accident is a very upsetting, stressful situation. Being prepared and knowing what to do can make things a little bit easier. Make sure you know which host parent to call in case of an accident.

Make sure you have your car registration and car insurance cards in the car glove box or in your wallet (depending on which way your host parents have instructed you).

If you have an accident: (from Edmunds.com)

  1. Keep Safety First. Drivers involved in minor accidents with no serious injuries should move cars to the side of the road and out of the way of oncoming traffic. Leaving cars parked in the middle of the road or busy intersection can result in additional accidents and injuries. If a car cannot be moved, drivers and passengers should remain in the cars with seatbelts fastened for everyone’s safety until help arrives. Make sure to turn on hazard lights and set out cones, flares or warning triangles if possible.
  2. Exchange Information. After the accident, exchange the following information: name, address, phone number, insurance company, policy number, driver license number and license plate number for the driver and the owner of each vehicle. If the driver’s name is different from the name of the insured, establish what the relationship is and take down the name and address for each individual. Also make a written description of each car, including year, make, model and color — and the exact location of the collision and how it happened. Finally, be polite but don’t tell the other drivers or the police that the accident was your fault, even if you think it was.
  3. Photograph and Document the Accident. Use your camera to document the damage to all the vehicles. Keep in mind that you want your photos to show the overall context of the accident so that you can make your case to a claims adjuster. If there were witnesses, try to get their contact information; they may be able to help you if the other drivers dispute your version of what happened.

Important Reminder: You may always phone the police (911) to ask for help if you feel unsafe because of how the other person is behaving. Just let the 911 operator know you need the police to come because you don’t feel safe. Otherwise, if no one is injured police don’t normally come to accident scenes.

Image: cygnus921 (Flickr)

Hints for Success – Homesickness/Culture Shock

Almost everyone experiences culture shock and homesickness when they come to a completely new environment. Everything is different: the language, the food, and the people.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for
Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are other new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to a few of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try texting instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee, go to the park, and/or go places with other au pairs. If someone invites you out, say “yes” whenever possible. Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness.

4. Share your culture with your host family – If you are missing some favorite foods from home, find ways that you can make them here and share them with your host family. There are many international markets in our area, you should be able to find most of the ingredients you need. If you are not really a cook, search online for restaurants and bakeries that have a taste of home. Your host family is probably just as excited to learn about your culture as you are to learn about America.

5. Make plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster WhatsApp group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Realize that it definitely gets easier with time.

All au pairs experience homesickness to some extent and nearly all of them stay and have a successful year (some stay for two years.) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

Stopping for School Busses

With schools soon to be back in session, I want to remind everyone about the Washington, DC law that requires you to stop for school buses. Below you will find pictures explaining what to do on 4 different types of roads if you approach a school bus at a stop. If you have questions, please ask me or your host parents.

The rules regarding stopping for school buses are:

  • It is against the law to pass a stopped school bus while its lights are flashing and its’ stop arm is extended.
  • On undivided roadways, with no physical barrier or median, vehicles must stop on both sides of the roadway.
  • Yellow flashing lights indicate that the bus is preparing to load or unload children. Motorists should slow down and prepare to stop their vehicles.
  • Red flashing lights and extended stop arms indicate that the bus has stopped, and children are getting on or off. Motorists approaching from either direction must wait until the red lights stop flashing before proceeding.

Police, who observe a motorist failing to stop and remain stopped for a school bus, can issue the violator a citation which carries a $500 fine. There are also cameras on buses and the camera-generated fine is $500. Drivers failing to stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk can also be issued a citation. These fines are subject to change and could increase. I am sharing them for your information.

Welcome to Camp Au Pair in America!

When kids are out of school for the summer, it doesn’t take long for them to become bored and sometimes that leads to sibling squabbles and mischief. Even though they don’t realize it, they are usually missing routine and predictability in their daily schedule. One solution is to make fun plans to keep them busy! 

Each week this summer we will share a different Camp Au Pair theme. These weekly themes are designed to give you ideas to keep your host kids occupied and engaged all summer long. They will also be learning. (But shhhh, don’t tell them that part.) Check back each Friday, for the next week’s theme. This gives you a chance to make plans and gather materials for the next week. For each theme there will be crafts, games, snacks and activities. You can just use these ideas or add your own and customize the themes to fit the ages and interests of your host children.

Here are the themes you can look forward to:

  • Nature Exploration
  • Art Experiences
  • Under the Sea
  • Science (STEM)
  • Bugs & Butterflies
  • Cars and Trucks
  • Backyard Safari
  • Dinosaurs
  • Explore the World
  • Outer Space
  • Pirate Adventures
  • Princesses & Knights

Check out Summer Fun & Summer Holidays pin boards for even more ideas.

If you get some great pictures doing these activities with your host kids, please send those to your community counselor. We love to share your accomplishments and inspire other au pairs!

Let’s make this an amazing summer!

Hints to Help your Au Pair Match Flourish

Host parents have many responsibilities and are often very busy. Maintaining a good relationship with your au pair is essential and can prevent many potential issues. Below are a few simple things you can do to help your au pair match flourish.

Communication – Make time every couple of weeks for a check-in conversation. This provides your au pair a time to bring up questions or concerns which she may be hesitant to bring up when she sees how busy you are daily. It’s also a good time for discussing any concerns you have as well as planning for upcoming events or schedule changes.

I cannot emphasize enough how important these check-in conversations are, even after an au pair has been with a host family for months and into the extension year. Having these regular conversations says to your au pair that you care about how she is feeling and how things are going. It is an investment in keeping a match healthy and successful.

Treat Your Au Pair Like a Family Member – Au pairs who feel appreciated and included as a member of their host family tend to see their host children as family members and feel very invested in their happiness and success.

Stay on Top of Payments –  Au pairs can feel very uncomfortable if they need to ask for their weekly stipend payment. This can also make them feel their work is not appreciated or you are unconcerned about their needs. Add a recurring weekly event on your calendar, use payment apps or automatic bank transfers to schedule your au pair’s stipend payment, and give yourself one less thing to remember.

The same is true for their transportation costs to cluster meetings and classes. Au pairs let their host family know about the expenses but some host parents don’t always follow through and reimburse them. 

Creating Structure in your Child’s Day

In the whirlwind of a child’s life, they encounter constant change. Yet, amidst this flux, a child flourishes when there’s predictability—even if they may not always welcome it with open arms. By crafting a structured environment, such as establishing a routine, an au pair can foster a child’s sense of safety and stability, crucial for curbing behavioral issues.

Why Structure is Key

Introducing structure into a child’s day involves establishing a consistent routine. This might entail maintaining regular wake-up times, meal schedules, nap routines, and snack breaks.

Children benefit from rules and routines in numerous ways: understanding boundaries, learning self-discipline, navigating frustration and patience, and appropriately engaging with their surroundings.

Moreover, routines foster independence. Once a child grasps the sequence of tasks—like brushing teeth, getting dressed, having breakfast, and packing their school bag—you are spared the constant reminders, enabling the child to take charge of their morning routine confidently. This newfound independence bolsters the child’s self-esteem as they become adept at self-care.

Additionally, structured days tend to minimize behavioral issues. When a child knows what to expect, they’re less anxious and can concentrate on managing their behavior instead of fretting over uncertainties.

Establishing a Routine

For families with minimal structure in their daily routines, introducing changes gradually is advisable. Start by focusing on a specific time frame, perhaps the period between dinner and bedtime.

Identify tasks essential during this time, such as packing lunches, completing homework, bathing, reading bedtime stories, and lights out. Organize these activities in a logical sequence that suits the family’s dynamics.

Consider creating a visual aid, like a poster with task lists and accompanying photos, to facilitate the transition. Over time, children will become familiar with the routine, reducing the need for constant reminders.

Reminding the child to follow their routine and referring them to a visual chart reinforces their autonomy and accountability.

When drafting a routine, ensure it includes moments of bonding and enjoyment, such as story time or sharing daily experiences. It’s essential not to overlook these opportunities for family connection in the pursuit of adhering strictly to the routine.

Establishing House Rules

Structured living also entails implementing household rules. These rules should be clear, specific, and age-appropriate, covering areas like the use of art supplies or screen time regulations. Discuss this idea of structure with your host parents and create a plan that all of the adults in the home can adhere to. Discussing the consequences for rule violations helps children understand the repercussions of their actions, fostering accountability.

Flexibility in Adhering to Rules and Routine

Some of the most cherished memories in a child’s life stem from moments when routine is momentarily set aside for spontaneous fun, like staying up late to stargaze or playing games on a school night.

Parents, and au pairs alike, should exercise flexibility. When deviating from the norm, explain the rationale behind the deviation to the child, emphasizing its uniqueness as a special event. And of course, don’t forget about adjusting the household routine as the child matures. Rules and routines suitable for a toddler will require modifications to accommodate a grade schooler’s evolving needs.

Ultimately, instilling a sense of structure alleviates power struggles, fosters family organization, and nurtures the child’s sense of security and independence—a worthwhile outcome for your concerted effort invested over time.