Monthly Archives: February 2022

Hints for Success – Handling Expenses

Host parents often ask for suggestions on how best to handle common expenses that occur as au pairs are caring for the children.

Miscellaneous Expenses

There are different ways to handle the little day-to-day expenses that come up.  Things like when an au pair takes the kids out for ice cream or picks up a gallon of milk.  Some families keep a cookie jar fund, a little cash that they set aside weekly or monthly for these types of expenses. Others give their au pair a prepaid debit card for this purpose. Below are some suggestions for avoiding problems with expenses.

Host Families

  • It’s important to be clear about how long this money should last and what types of expenses are approved.
  • Let the au pair know whether or not you expect receipts.

Au Pairs

  • Only spend the money on approved expenses.
  • If it is something you are not sure about, ask first.
  • Put your receipts in the cookie jar in place of the money to avoid any confusion.

Gas, Uber & Metro 

Host families are responsible for the au pair’s transportation costs: to and from classes, cluster meetings, and when driving the kids.

It is a good idea to figure out how much gas an au pair will use for these trips and either put gas in the car or give a gas allowance.   If your au pair is riding to classes or cluster meetings with another au pair, you should offer to share the cost of gas.

Au pairs are responsible for their own transportation at all other times.  You should replace the amount of gas used for personal use.

Photo: Andrea Travillian

Going Unplugged During Work Hours

Phones, tablets, and laptops are wonderful tools to stay connected and informed, but we need to be careful not to let them become distractions from real-life interactions and most importantly our responsibilities.

Au Pairs – Imagine for a moment that you went to the hospital and you were in the care of doctors and nurses. How would you feel if those doctors and nurses who were there to care for you were more interested in texting or using their personal computer than caring for you?  How would that make you feel, about yourself and about them? Would you think that you were getting the treatment you deserved?  Would you feel like paying the bill after your stay?

Life as an au pair, it is a fine balance between employee and family member. You live with your host family and participate with them as a member of the family, but you also have clear responsibilities as a childcare provider. Being a childcare provider is truly one of the most important jobs I can think of because you are helping to shape the next generation.  What message are you sending them when you would rather interact with a computer than with them? How will they feel about themselves and about you? Children feel as though everything is about them. They will see this as a rejection of them and they will be more likely to act out.

It also poses a safety concern when you are not paying enough attention to the children in your care. Injuries and accidents happen, but when an adult caregiver is close by and appropriately supervising the chances of a major injury dramatically reduce.

During work hours, the following would not be considered acceptable:

  • Texting* or talking to friends on the phone
  • Using Skype, FaceTime, or any other video chat
  • Using TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook,YouTube,  or any other app or social media site
  • Playing online games
  • Anything else on your phone or computer unless it is going to Nickjr.com together with your host children

*you do want to be on the lookout for texts from your host parents

Even if you work 45 hours a week, that leaves you 123 hours per week for all of that other stuff, or about 70 hours (if you are getting the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night.)

Phone Use in the Car – Using your phone to text or talk without Bluetooth while driving is illegal, a huge safety risk, and a bad example for the children (future drivers) in the car with you. One moment of distraction when you are driving can change someone’s life forever: your own and/or others around you. If you find the temptation to check your phone is too much for you, set up the driving mode feature on your phone.

Host Parents – You need to be clear about what you consider acceptable during work hours to avoid misunderstandings. Also, please understand that you are dealing with a generation of people who are very accustomed to being plugged in at all times. Their intention is not to be rude, they don’t necessarily realize how their actions will be perceived. Please use this information as an opportunity to begin a dialogue on the issue.

Image: Pexels.com

 

Helping Young Children Learn Language

Being an au pair is an important role in a child’s life. When you are caring for young children up to 45 hours per week, there are lots of opportunities to help them learn language. Many host parents are eager for their children to be exposed to more than just English. If this is true of your host parents, you can try the suggestions below, in both English and your native language.

  • Read – Read to them daily, point out pictures and ask questions. Even if they can’t answer the questions, this is still modeling conversation.
  • Talk – Point out objects around them, names of their body parts, explain what you are doing and places you are going. Long before babies can speak, they benefit greatly from being spoken to.
  • Sing – You can sing childhood classics or make up your own silly songs. If you are looking for song ideas, HERE is a great website with lists of songs, lyrics, and links to youtube videos* of the songs.  Children’s music is also available at the public library and even on iTunes.
  • Words – As children move from toddlers to preschoolers begin to point out written language.
  • Writing – Toddlers and preschoolers can begin to learn pre-writing skills by drawing with crayons or doing finger paints.

*The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for babies under 18 months of age. For children 18 months to 5 years, they recommend no more than 1 hour of high-quality content. You can play the songs on youtube for the audio and not necessarily show the screen to the child.

Photo: Quinn Dombrowski (Flickr)

Hints for Success – Homesickness/Culture Shock

Almost everyone experiences culture shock when they come to a completely new environment. Everything is different: the language, the food, and the people.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for Dealing with Homesickness

1. Make Friends – Don’t wait for other au pairs to reach out to you, reach out to them. There are lots of other new au pairs who are feeling the same way you are right now. Set a goal to reach out to one of them each day. Some will respond and some will not. Don’t let that discourage you. No one will ever be mad at you for sending them a message to say hello or ask if they want to do something together. Make friends from various countries and you will also get a chance to practice your English skills together.

2. Stay in touch with your home country, but not too much. Skyping or talking on the phone every day with your family and/or friends back home normally makes homesickness worse. Try emailing instead and reduce the Skype and phone calls to once a week, until you feel stronger. It’s much harder seeing the faces and hearing the voices of those you miss.

3. Get out of the house (or your room specifically) – Go to cluster meetings, have coffee or movies with other au pairs, join a gym, go to the library, go for a walk, visit the mall, get a manicure, visit a museum. If someone invites you out, say “yes.” Also, don’t be afraid to do the inviting. If your host family invites you to do things with them, say “yes.” This will help you get to know each other and contribute to your overall happiness. We are still living in a pandemic. Remember to be safe and follow your host family rules and any local rules for masking and other precautions.

4. Realize that it definitely gets better – All au pairs experience homesickness and nearly all of them stay and have a successful year (some stay for two years.) So, it must get better, right? Once you get past the initial homesickness, most au pairs report how quickly the year goes by.

5. Make Plans – Create your own Au Pair Bucket List (places you want to go, new foods to try, new things to experience during your year in the U.S.) and start doing them now. Post on our cluster Facebook group to find others who may want to join you on your adventures.

Photo by:  Shimelle Laine (Flickr)

Links & Resources for Au Pair Taxes

Au Pair in America staff, including its community counselors, are not qualified to provide any official tax information. We recommend that you use H & R Block Expat Tax Services or another professional if you have any specific questions regarding U.S. taxes or need help to file your taxes. Below are some resources and general information.

Where to Get Started

  • Au Pair in America has a Tax Information for Au Pairs page that explains the basics of how taxes work in the U.S.
  • You can view an Instructional Tax Video in your au pair portal. Once you are logged into your au pair portal → go to “Resources” tab → “In the US” → click “Instructional Tax Video for Guidance”
  • April 18, 2022, is the deadline to submit your 2021 tax forms and payment. Doing so after that deadline can lead to extra fees and interest charges.
  • From the H&R Block Expat Tax Service: “U.S. law requires au pairs who earn more than the filing threshold in stipends during a calendar year to file a U.S. federal tax return. Under the new tax law, the filing threshold is currently $5. Depending on the state in which you earned the income, you may also be subject to state tax filing. If you don’t file, you risk incurring costly interest and penalties, and it may complicate obtaining a U.S. visa in the future.”

If You Want to Get Your Taxes Professionally Done

Au Pair in America has partnered with H & R Block Expat Tax Services which has set up an easy, affordable, and virtual option for au pairs to assist with tax filing. The promotional fee is $50 through February 28th, which includes Federal and State (if applicable) filing. Starting on March 1st the fee increases to $99.

If You Plan to Do Your Own Taxes

  • Even if you are planning to prepare your own taxes, I recommend you check out the information on the H&R Block Expat Tax Service page. Scroll down the page and see the answers to lots of common questions au pairs have about taxes.
  • If you are planning to prepare your taxes on your own (or with help from your host parents) you can get links to the tax forms HERE.
  • If you plan to file your taxes by mail, here are some things you will need to know:
  • Some other important details:
    • Include your full name and Social Security Number on your tax forms and your payment (check or money order).
    • Make copies of all of the papers you mail to the IRS (your forms and payment) and keep those for your records. (This is very important in case you receive letters from the IRS about your taxes in the future.)

Image: 401(K) 2012

Celebrating Lunar New Year – 2022 Year of the Tiger

Lunar New Year is the most important holiday in China. Tied to the Chinese lunar calendar, the holiday began as a time for feasting and honoring ancestors as well as deities. Lunar New Year celebrations begin on February 1st.

The year 2022 is slated to be the year of the tiger. The tiger is known as the king of all beasts in China and the zodiac is associated with strength and bravery.

Chinese people celebrate Lunar New Year with the traditional greeting, “Kung hei fat choi”  Sounds like (gung – hay – fah – choy) in Cantonese!

Lunar New Year covers a long span, not just one day. Two weeks is the typical time frame. Traditionally this time is used to celebrate with family and friends. It’s important to start the new year with a clean home. Red envelopes are handed out to others, typically children or young people, containing Lucky Money. Foods are important in the celebration and have meaning. Long noodle dishes, for instance, represent longevity or long life, while dumplings represent wealth. Interestingly, fortune cookies are not authentic Chinese treats, though enjoyable and fun, you can read more about their unique history here.

You can read more about Lunar New Year here.

Crafts, recipes, activities, and games related to Lunar New Year can be found on the APIA Winter Pinterest board. Try some of these great ideas!

Arts & Crafts:

Kids in the Kitchen:

Virtual Field Trips can be a great way for kids to learn and have new experiences. Here are a couple of virtual field trips that fit this theme:

Videos – Online you can find many examples of celebrations. Please review the content for appropriateness for your own host kids before watching with the children.

Webcams – You can do a google search for Lunar New Year celebrations with webcams. Here is a popular one for the upcoming season:

Books – Check out your local library or bookseller for books to order / reserve and pick up /read online:

Post Courtesy of Cynthia Chan (Au Pair in America)

Photo: Jimmie Quick 

How to Address an Envelope in the USA

The way people address mail around the world varies.  Here is an example to show you where to put the information when you are sending mail in the United States.

Other Mail Tips:

  • Use permanent ink, no pencil.
  • Print clearly and neatly.
  • USPS prefers upper case letters and no punctuation (commas or periods), but it’s okay if you use upper and lower case and punctuation.
  • Never mail cash. Money orders and checks are safer options.
  • Postage stamps can be purchased at the post office and some grocery stores.
  • One “Forever” stamp is enough to send a standard envelope with several sheets of paper inside anywhere within the U.S.
  • Find nearby post offices HERE.
  • Expect that it can take up to 5 days for regular mail to arrive. If you need to get something sent more quickly, look into faster options (Priority Mail, 2-Day UPS, FedEx)

What is a “self-addressed, stamped envelope”?

When you mail your DS-2019 in for travel validation, the first option is to send a self-addressed, stamped envelope. That means an envelope where you have written yourself as the delivery address and put a stamp on it. This allows them to sign your form and put it right into that envelope and send it back to you. This option is great when you send in your DS-2109 at least 3-4 weeks before your trip. If you have less time than that, you should select the 2-Day UPS option to make sure you get it back in time.